Acceptance...
Acceptance….
I’ve been doing a whole lot of thinking over these past few months after my 1 yr. surgiversary. I’ve come to some conclusions.. and revelations! It’s been anything but easy, and everyday I’m trying to really grow into myself.
- I had a very hard time accepting things that can NOT be changed. I’m resisting what "is" based on what "was". I find myself dwelling on the little things about my body that I absolutely HATE. Not appreciating life, and enjoying the things that I love. I can’t change the fact that over a year, I lost so much weight that my skin hasn’t had a chance to snap back to where it’s supposed to be. It may not ever. I need to accept it, embrace it, appreciate it, and MOVE ON.
- I’m not who I think I am. I’m not the girl who couldn’t walk up a flight of steps… I’ve worked my ass off, and achieved major successes, with many more to come. When I was pre-op, I found a few people on OH who I absolutely idolized. I wanted to be just like them. I thought they were perfect. Looking back… they prob. Were having the same problems with themselves that I am now. But from the outside, no one even sees the faults I see in myself. We have all grown up with certain comments and certain events that has given us this "image" of who we think we are. That image stays the same in our minds no matter what we look like in the mirror. I need to really listen to the compliments I’m receiving… and see myself as others do. I don’t need to put stock in what I THINK others think about me, or will think, and focus on the constant… which is my own opinion.
3. I can’t waste my time wishing I was someone else, or looked like someone "thinner" than me. Cause honestly, it’s not going to happen. I am who I am. I’ll never look like them, and nor should I want to. Then I wouldn’t be a unique human being. Our uniqueness is our strength. We’re not like thin people. We’re better. Here’s why: We’ve seen both sides of the spectrum. We know what it’s like to be heavy.. we’re learning what it’s like to be thinner. How many people can say something like that? We’ll always have that soft spot, and consideration for heavier people. It’s something I never want to lose. You can certainly find inspiration in others, but why should we desire to be just like them? There’s only one me in this world… don’t we owe it to ourselves to be the best person we can be? We grow up thinking different isn’t good, but in reality, our differences make us who we are. It seems the thinner you get the more judgmental of your body you become. Even with my flabby arms, and thighs, I’m different in an absolutely amazing way. I need to cheri**** The moment you start accepting yourself and be at peace with it, that’s the moment where life starts to truly work for you.
4. Again, I’ve worked so hard to get myself where I am now… and instead of enjoying and loving life, I obsess over the little tiny faults. How crazy is that? I’m never going to be perfect, and nor do I want to be. The moment I become "perfect" in my own eyes, means there’s nothing left to improve… I have nothing to take from any other person in the world. I never want that for myself. I want to constantly improve myself.. A little over a year ago, I didn’t know if I was going to live much longer. Now… I’m getting married to my best friend in the entire world.. I know we’re both going to be alive for a very long time, and we’re going to have a family.
Who could ask for more?
Success is a journey... not a destination! 
I love your posts. They are so well written, so inciteful, so inspiring.
Just keep being you.
Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself -- I wish you and Norm all the best - you're going to be a beautiful bride with a handsome groom by your side. So much to look forward to for you now - relax and enjoy, and revel in the new 'you'.
Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
I think my main problem is now that I'm so close to my goal of where I think I want to be I'm realizing that this is what I'm going to look like after my transformation. And all of a sudden it's real that yes, unfortunately like you, I have lost so much in such a short time that my skin is not bouncing back as quick as the weight loss has dropped. And it's just something that a lot of us have to face and deal with.
I am very lucky to have a husband that doesn't care about the extra skin. I can't say the same about me not having any boobs anymore, but that's a man for ya!! He loved me fat, he's loving me "thinner" and he's okay with the skin. And I have to be too. I will get there eventually. Susan told me to practice saying "I look good". And I did that night. I took my clothes off and looked in the mirror as my husband was watching and I proceeded to tell myself that I looked good over and over again. Then right after I was like, yeah, right. But that's because it was the first time I ever did that. Believe me, I know parts of me look amazing and I'm very proud of myself and don't feel vain in saying that, but then there's the rest of me!!!
Mary, you hang in there and just keep coming back to this post and listening to your own words. You will figure it out just like we all will. Take those compliments and run with them and don't think of the negative.
Take care.
Karen 
that was very well said,
LOVE YOURSELF, you are amazing. You have come such a long way this past year, you and Karen should talk. Put those shorts on and walk outside with your head held high, because you are beautiful and like I told Karen look in the mirror everyday and tellyourself I LOOK GOOD
I wish you and NOrm a lifetime of happiness
Susan
