Thank you Barix postop meeting
Hi Karen,
I tried to catch up with you after the meeting, but couldn't stay--
I'm just about 2 years out and have had a terrible time with acceptance, though from a different perspective. I am 51 yo and have been obese since I was a young child. I spent most of my life trying to avoid the stares by being invisible, though in reality, from my size, I could never be "invisible." Still, I was happiest just being left alone and not ridiculed by others.
What has been hardest for me is becoming visible. I was laid off from my job of 27 yrs last year (where I was comfortable being the competent person people could go to, but wasn't aggressive enough/confident enough to get myself in management's face). I HAD to become visible to get a new job. The whole interview process where you need to sell yourself was very painful to me--I needed to learn to be visible.
I have a new job now where visibility is critical. Just taking the job was a HUGE move out of my comfort zone. I work with clients daily. I am MUCH more comfortable emailing them and waiting for a response, than even picking up the phone (and they can't even see me). The technical aspects of my job are not challenging--the people contact is extremely challenging.
I've had to learn to interact with people for the first time--not just their emails. I can't be invisible anymore in this job.
I look and physically-feel a whole lot better than I was pre-op--down 130 lbs, down 8-9 sizes, fitting in plane seats, exercising regularly--but I am still more comfortable being invisible.
It's a constant struggle to unlearn being invisible. I think it comes with self-confidence and self-acceptance--neither of which are strong attributes for me. I constantly need to focus on my "successing"--remembering the journey I am on, trusting in my decisions (the biggies--to go through with WLS and to adopt the new food realities--stick with the plan), pulling strength from my conviction that I will be healthier, and working on letting others see the result of that hard work.
Good luck!
Cheryl
I tried to catch up with you after the meeting, but couldn't stay--
I'm just about 2 years out and have had a terrible time with acceptance, though from a different perspective. I am 51 yo and have been obese since I was a young child. I spent most of my life trying to avoid the stares by being invisible, though in reality, from my size, I could never be "invisible." Still, I was happiest just being left alone and not ridiculed by others.
What has been hardest for me is becoming visible. I was laid off from my job of 27 yrs last year (where I was comfortable being the competent person people could go to, but wasn't aggressive enough/confident enough to get myself in management's face). I HAD to become visible to get a new job. The whole interview process where you need to sell yourself was very painful to me--I needed to learn to be visible.
I have a new job now where visibility is critical. Just taking the job was a HUGE move out of my comfort zone. I work with clients daily. I am MUCH more comfortable emailing them and waiting for a response, than even picking up the phone (and they can't even see me). The technical aspects of my job are not challenging--the people contact is extremely challenging.
I've had to learn to interact with people for the first time--not just their emails. I can't be invisible anymore in this job.
I look and physically-feel a whole lot better than I was pre-op--down 130 lbs, down 8-9 sizes, fitting in plane seats, exercising regularly--but I am still more comfortable being invisible.
It's a constant struggle to unlearn being invisible. I think it comes with self-confidence and self-acceptance--neither of which are strong attributes for me. I constantly need to focus on my "successing"--remembering the journey I am on, trusting in my decisions (the biggies--to go through with WLS and to adopt the new food realities--stick with the plan), pulling strength from my conviction that I will be healthier, and working on letting others see the result of that hard work.
Good luck!
Cheryl
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