Another "morale of the story" lesson

I took care of a patient last night.  She had a stomach bug and was quite sick.  The thing that got me - was the amount and size of food she was She was also quite heavy - and I don't mean that negatively.  I understand that.  I got busy and one of the other nurses took over for me - I didn't get her whole history. I ended up discharging her when we got her feeling better. So she said to me something about "this is one way to lose weight" and I took that opportunity to educate her (as a nurse) as to not think that way and that could lead to a dangerous cycle of bulemia or anorexia. She said to me "Sometimes I think that's the only way - I've tried everything and even went through that damn bypass surgery which is just a joke" I took a step back and contemplated my return.  I asked her how long ago she had the bypass and if she had lost weight initially.  She said 4 years ago and yes, she lost about 50 pounds and then gained all of it back with an additional 30 pounds. I sat down and actually started talking to her.  I told her I was a recent gastric bypass patient and had friends who had lost weight and began to regain it.  I talked at length to her about exercise and about chewing food - as it was previously obvious she wasn't chewing her food AT ALL which blows my mind.  I kept it all very professional.  I also talked to her at length about continuing to make good choices, (her last meal prior to being sick was McDonalds including fries and a shake) and that this surgery was never meant to be a quick fix but rather a tool.  I also spoke to her about OH and support groups. She was very interested in the beginning - until I got to the "rules" portion of the pouch that we were discussing.  She looked up at me and said "It's not worth being unhappy and eating healthy rather than being happy and eating the way I do" I stated very simply with her previous comments of "one way to lose weight"  she did not appear happy to me, but that was her call. It broke my heart - and then I realized - I can't feel sorry for her.   I have to "use" her as a lesson.  The pouch works, the rules work - when we don't is when we fail.  She was obviously not ready for the surgery and still is not ready for the surgery or complications there of. Pam

You can feel sorry for her kind of... more than anything she needs a good kick in the head! But it sounds like she has a lot of issues with food and wasn't ready for the surgery...

But, good for you to take the time to talk to her like you did...

Thanks Shannon :)

Very admirable job Pam, Until she discovers what happiness is she'll never find it. They don't sell it at McDonalds. Dennis

Pam,

As often as I'd like to say something to others, I don't.  But I think because you are a medical professional the words may have effected her somehow.  When Doctors lecture obese patients it is with no experience of their own.  But when a fellow WLS patient can be a source of knowledge and inspiration it does make a difference.  We don't always get that vibe back, but I am sure your words will come back to her in the days ahead and it may shine a light for her to do something.  Bravo for leaving her with dignity and not beating her into self pity mode. :kiss: You are among the best.  My hats off to you.

Pam, as a nurse and WLS patient yourself I honestly think it was your calling and duty to talk to this woman about it - and she brought it up, you didn't. Hopefully something will sink in and maybe she will get her pouch working for her again, but it sounds like food still rules her world and she wasn't ready to make the sacrifices we have to make. All of us know its not easy, but we also know its worth it. You did what you could - its a very personal decision as we all know, but maybe seeing and hearing how wonderfully you have done (and others) it will get her thinking. I hope its not too late for her, You done good. Kathy

What a lucky person she is to have landed in your ER.  I hope she realizes soon the importance of what  was said and acts on it.  It truly saddens me to think that she would put her body through the surgery and then break all the rules.  You were her angel last night.....I hope she recognizes that.

Pam--You really are an angel and an inspiration.  Even if that woman acted like she didn't want "the rules" ..it is in her head now that she spoke to you as someone who is making it work and that thought will maybe grow like a seed until it blossoms and she finally understands how to work her tool the correct way.  You did good last night!!  ((((HUGS)))) Much luv! Laura

Pam, all I could think as I was reading this was how sad. I don't feel sorry for her but it is just so sad that she is wasting this opportunity to be healthy. She obviously wasn't ready for the surgery or to change her life. It was also so good of you to sit and talk with her and not at her. Hopefully she gained some perspective after listening to you........Stefanie