I miss food....

Hi Everyone..

 

Well, I am having a hard time. 

 

 

Feelings can just be so overwhelming.   Between the stress of work and some challenges in some other areas of my life, I am stressed and sad and lonely.  And for the past 2 weeks, all I want to do is eat!!  I want my friend, food, back!!  My Comfort has always been God, and Church.. journaling and praying.  And now that it is summer, I am swimming again.  But I still want that food back!!  I've made some unhealthy choices lately but gaining weight scares me too much to go past that.  I hate that I've even thought, "just eat all day.. you can…".  AH!!  NO WAY.    I wont do it but boy, do I want to! 

 

 

Before surgery, I knew where my life was headed - death.  Now, I am not headed towards death (God willing) and for the past year I've been trying to see where I fit in, in this world.  And to be quite honest, I have no idea where I fit in, if I fit in anywhere.  Sometimes I feel like a freak again but this time I can't blame it on my enormous body. 

 

 

Sorry this post isn't up beat.  It is just tough these days.  I am not sure why I really posted other than to share with those who possibly feel as I do about food.

 

 

Georgianne

 

Boy do I know where you are coming from.  At almost 3 years out I still go on my daily "hunt" for something good to snack on.  I ran out of pure protein bars so I have to get more. Even they aren't a good idea because of the calories. I try to keep a supply of yogurt, fruit on hand but with the grandkids that is like trying to refil a bucket with a hole in it .. Next meeting at Crozer ( Pollard House) I think a nutritionist will be there. I hope she has some good ideas for snacking.  Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Sandy

Georgianne, What an apra pro post this morning.  Last night was a very difficult night for me for family reasons - and all I wanted was to eat ridiculous foods.  I must admit, I did end up making not so good choices, although not as bad as it could have been.  We were at Seaside and hubby got an icecream - which I took 3 spoonfuls of.  Afterwards we went to a diner where I got a bacon cheeseburger with fries.  I ended up having 1/4 of the burger, no bun, and a handful of fries.  A salad still would have been a better choice, as that burger was definately NOT lean, let alone the cheese and bacon. Anyway - I wanted to let you know that you are not the only one struggling.  Dennis has said it - the surgery never fixed our heads, which, for most of us, is what was broken in the first place. I'm glad you are open and honest - that is hard to do to admit it to yourself, let alone others. Wishing you the best of luck!  We'll all be here.  When one falls - the rest help us up. Stay safe. Pam

You don't miss food. You miss security, you miss comfort, but you know what? You can't expect food to give you those things. You other activities should help, but if you simply must eat, eat something good. I don't care what kind of cookie, cake, or candy you stick in front of me, there's nothing sweeter than a huge juicy Granny Smith Apple. If you're going to eat, be smart about it! I'm five years out, and I still struggle with the same thing. Anybody who tells you it gets easy is most likely pulling your chain. Keep up the good work!

Food won't fix loneliness or sadness or stress.  You know that.  I think it's wonderful that you recognize the feelings you're having. 

I completely hear what you're saying about trying to find out where you fit in.  I, too, found great comfort in God and church.  And sometimes now I feel like that was part of my coping skills that covered my emotions along with food.  I'm struggling with having a "healthy" relationship with God and the church.  A couple of months back I went through a time where Ie found myself thinking, "I'm smaller, which is good, but I kind of feel insignificant somehow."  That was a weird time, but it has passed. Food isn't a friend.  Food is a fuel.  Use it wisely. Finding a friend is tough, because it means really putting yourself out there.  I've had a real hard time doing that.  I've been fortunate, and blessed in huge ways this past year.  But there have definitely been rough patches too.  It's okay to miss food, but I want to encourage you to look for the deeper, better, more fulfilling resolutions to whatever the real issues/problems are.

Thank you everyone for your help and support!  Yeah, those times when I want to eat, I tend to eat things that are on the healthier side but on that edge...  like a granola bar.  Instead, Norm, you're right.. I love the summer peaches!   Yes, food is not a friend and yes, I want the comfort and security.  That's the central point of it all.   Thanks for your help!!

Come to the Phoenixville Support Group tomorrow night.  We are there for you.

Georgianne,    I'm only 2 months out and I went through a depression last week.  I miss my comfort food.  I was so down and I couldn't graze because all I could eat is not really what I needed at the time.  My friends go out every week for wings and beer and the one time I went I was totally bummed out.      But we have to try to remember our reason for this.  I becomes extremely difficult to do that.  As everyone else said, you are not alone.  We are all in this together! Hang in there. Gail