New & feeling a bit down...and in desperate need of help

I know I posted something already but I can't find it to get the answers.  I just had surgery on 6/25/2008.  Everything went extremley well.  I have not had one hiccup (knock on wood and thank god) since my surgery.  I'm feeling a bit worried.  I have been overweight my entire life.  I've never had any will power and I'm so afraid I'm gonna mess this up.  I really want to do well with this.  I have great examples of what this surgery can do.  I also have a few not so good ones.  I find myself wanting regular food.  I was told (by someone who had surgery that I shouldn't even want food so soon, I also have to mention that the person who told me this failed miserably at this surgery).  I feel like i'm gonna cheat and not get this right.  I guess I just need to know, how does everyone keep their spirits up?  I've been trying really hard to focus on what I'll look like a year from now but all I can think right now is, "I really wish I had some of the hamburger helper that my husband ate tonight?"  I don't know what to do

Congratulations on your weight loss surgery and on reaching out for help.  You are doing the right thing.  Now, you have to retrain your brain about food, and the food choices that are right for you.  Study your Barix Bible, and learn what are the healthy food choices for a post-op patient.  Concentrate on making your protein goal each day, as well as your water goal.  Hamburger Helper is not an acceptable food choice, in my opinion, pre- or post-op.  Too many carbs and additives for my taste.  I prefer less processed foods. It was recommended to me a long time ago to shop the perimeter of the grocery store, and get very little from the center aisles.  The perimeter is where the produce, meats, fish and dairy are.  The exceptions are tea bags, frozen veggies, and cat food and toilet paper, etc.   I also would encourage you to attend the pre- and post-op support group meetings.  I need to get my butt to them myself.  I have been slacking in that area.  Research shows that people who attend support group meetings are more succesful in making lifestyle and behavior changes than people who attempt those changes on their own.  (I did a paper on it in graduate school.) Post here as much as you need to for support and encouragement.  Check in with the Roll Call and the daily Menu.  Post your exercise goals and accomplishments.  We are here to encourage and cheer one another on.   Hugs, Trish 

Start making healthier food choices for yourself, your family can eat what you eat in larger portions.  Find yourself some Dinty Moore L/F Turkey Stew and Campbells Chunky Soups.  Rund them thru the processor and you will feel more satisfied.  Make sure you are pulverizing things in the processor and straining well.  There are so many good choices to make.

Congratulations on your recent surgery - what you're feeling right now is 'head hunger' - and that's hard to get past but you will. We're all used to eating whatever, whenever and however much we wanted and a sudden change like this is very drastic to our systems and our minds. But our system can handle it now with no problem - the big change is going to be in changing your mind on how you look at food and why. Trust me, whenever I would get together with anybody - family, friends, co-workers - the first thing out of my mouth was 'what are we going to eat' - its not that way anymore - I had my surgery in February and while I do still enjoy food it just doesn't hold the same fastination for me as it used to, and I can now go to social events and be happy eating small portions of the better foods and just spending time with everyone. The surgeons can fix your stomach, but they can't fix your head - you have to do that thru the nutritionists and support group meetings - also check out different books on WLS - there are tons of them out there - by surgeons and psychiatrists and former WLS patients who will help you get thru this. Please don't be discouraged or doubt yourself this early out - follow your surgeon's food plan, pay attention to the nutritionists, and definitely get to support group meetings - if you can't get to the ones at Barix for some reason find a local one close to home, or ask out here where some are - they really do help. We have faith in you and you are going to succeed at this - stay away from the negative 'nellies' in your life and surround yourself with people who love and support you in this. Kathy

Syreeta I know exactly how you feel. This is how I dealt with those "head cravings" at the point you are at now. I went to bed. I am no kidding I would start crying over stupid food stuff and go to bed. I think I spent more time sleeping the first week then I did awake because of this.  I promise you that this will pass and you will survive this part of the journey. Just keep your eye on the end result and sleep alot if you have to.  I actually yelled at my husband about pizza crust. Can you freaking believe that?? Jen

Your fears are very very normal.  What you have to understand is, that fear can actually play a good role.  You NEED to be afraid of failing - it helps keep you on track.  The trick is to balance that fear.  It is never good to have a total encompassing fear which can paralyze you. The "head hunger" (wanting food you know you can't have or are ready to have) is horrendous.  And many of us have been through it.  I am 8 mos out (same surgeon by the way - isn't Dr. P awesome??) and still struggle with that.  One of the girls on here awhile back said she had told herself "It is just food and I will be ok" and that works for me.  Self talk as it is called is very very important.  Tell yourself you don't need that, and MEAN it.  Tell yourself you will work the program each and every day, and MEAN it.   You will hear many of us refer to "successing" here.  That's because this is a continuing journey.  And to "succeed" means that you have completed the task.  This task is never completed - rather always continuing on. By the way - support groups are fabulous.  Barix has two a month.  THE SECOND TUESDAY OF THE MONTH 7PM IN THE LOBBY IS PRE OP.  MANY POST OPS ATTEND FOR ADDED SUPPORT AND TO HELP WITH QUESTIONS. THE THIRD WEDNESDAY OF EVERY MONTH AT 7P IN THE LOBBY IS THE POST OP GROUP.  WE DISCUSS POST OP ISSUES AND LEND SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT.  We also have "non barix" people join us which adds to the fun. Best of luck.  Stay close to the boards! Oh, and when that head hunger strikes - get yourself a glass of water or an ice pop - and then get the heck out of the place you are.  Go for a walk, keep your mind focused on other things.  Keep sipping and walking!! Pam

What you are experiencing is fairly normal, I remember someone posting, I believe it was in her first week post-op, that her husband made hamburgers and she wanted one soooo bad. . .  the thing is we had surgery to make our stomachs smaller, but our senses are still intact, as well as our wanting to soothe ourselves with our old friend food.  Read Georgianne's post of this morning, even over time the desires to eat surface, how do you change a lifetime of bad choices in a week, a year or even 3 or more years post-op?   I believe as Trish said, and I am very regimented about support, which I do through attendance at Barix meetings and other folks who host them in their homes, as well as staying connected to others through this site.   As someone who is a member in good standing of AA, I can tell you first hand that there was a time I did not wish to attend my support meetings any longer and I did not, well after 2+ years, I was a very miserable person, not to mention I had put on 25 lbs. in that period, substituting food for alcohol. . .  just giving you the perspective from where I come from, which is that support is really a key factor in keeping us on track, honest and helps us to continue on, because the realities of post-surgical life are that we can and sometimes do return to old bad habits.   To change a lifetime of bad eating habits is not easy, you've been given a tool, but the work is yours to do, we here will support you (each other), but you need to be proactive and push away from the table when things get tough, maybe go out, take a walk, or take charge of cooking better foods that you and your whole family can enjoy, though at this stage you are not eating too much.  The time will pass and in the meantime, just ask the support of your family and excuse yourself from the table, go take a walk or do something that can distract you from the head hunger you are experiencing.   The other thing is that the early weeks post-op can be a mine field of emotions, so give yourself a break and feel free to come here and post to get through this stage of things. Sending you hugs and positive thoughts, Laureen

Oh, sweetie, this too shall pass.  I can still remember wanting burgers with my children a week after surgery.  The liquid and pureed stages were TOUGH for me.  You have been given a tremendous tool, which you will learn to use as time goes on.  Yeah, sometimes we want food that isn't good for us.  Sometimes we even give into temptation and taste the food we know isn't the best for us.  It's not the end of the world.  You will learn to use this tool.  You will learn to eat in a most healthful manner.  And you'll appreciate the tool more and more as it works with your body and you drop the weight and you become the beautiful butterfly you were meant to be. 

You know what to do.  Follow your surgeon and nutritionist's instructions to the best of your ability.  You'll be fine.

 

I just want to thank you all for your support.  I'm feeling a bit better now knowing that I'm not crazy.  The crazy thing is I haven't had hamburger helper since I was like 18.  I never eat it or make it for my family because it has way too much salt and I don't want to give that to my son.  LOL.  It just smelled good.  This is my first day home alone (my husband had to work today) and I could cheat but I really have no desire to...for the time being.   Reading these posts and looking at before and after pictures really do make a difference.  Thank you  :)