AWKWARD! moment....

Last night I was out with my girlfriends at a local place where we have known the bartender for 20+ years. Well we were all talking and carrying on and in walks this guy who is a local comedian he had WLS last year. I know him from working with him for the last 3 years well he spots me flies over to me and starts talking ..He is one of those guys that is a nice person but annoying like that mosquito at the beach kinda guy. So when he leaves our friend Joey says " I can not stand him he had that crazy WLS surgery last year now he thinks he is some dancing fool".  My whole body tensed and I got ready to cry my girlfriends both looked at me to see my reaction we all blew it off. Well Joey knows I had surgery of some sort because I was out within a week of surgery to get out of the house he doesn't know I had that "CRAZY WLS" ..Today it is still bothering me that he had made the comment I want to talk to him but also at a loss on what exactly to say to him .  Part of me thinks I am way to sensative the other half wants to go smack him upside the head.

I would tell Joey that I had the surgery myself and leave it at that.

I agree with Trish - tell him you had the surgery, and then slap him upside the head for making such an insenstive remark!! If he doesn't get it then he never will. Don't ever be afraid or ashamed of telling someone you've had the surgery - I think one of the reasons I've been so successful and optimistic about this is because I'm willing to share my story with the world - and everyone I've told has been 100% supportive and behind me on this - once they knew the facts. I know a lot of people are more private than me and don't want the world to know, but that's where the whole stigma of the surgery comes from and people making ignornant comments about it. So you go for it - you've done great - its not a magic pill we take and the weight just falls off - we work damn hard at it to get it off and keep it off, and make sure your friend Joey knows that, too. Kathy

Hmmm I honestly don't know where I stand on this one.  Partly because although I am open to my surgery to friends, co workers, and any stranger I meet on the street - I am not open with my family.  Only my parents and brothers know. One of my aunts (who I can't stand to begin with) saw me and obviously commented on my weight loss.  She asked how I was doing it and I told her what I tell everyone who doesn't know - that I eat 6 small meals a day, no sugar, little fat, protein first, little if any carbs other than natural sources, and work out at the gym.  She said to me "That's good - because you don't have that "sick" look that those people who go and get surgery get"  I left with my husband - and he said "yea, it's good you don't look like all those surgery people and sick and all"  I laughed it off.  I know for a fact this particular aunt wouldn't listen to the facts - she's to stubborn.  Her comment stung - but inside I know the truth and that is what matters to me. Has Joey noticed your weight loss?  If he brings it up - that would be a perfect opportunity.  I for one if you do decide to discuss it would open it up with your new routine - and also put in that you had WLS to help you on your journey.  Explain that for some it opens up doors of  confidence, and perhaps that is why the other guy is a "dancing fool" or perhaps people are just noticing more (as you said he was that annoying type guy....)  But for many others, it doesn't change who we are - sometimes even makes us even MORE insecure.... Good luck. Pam

I am pretty open with it but last night it took my breath away a little and I know deep down he would never say anything to me if he thought it would hurt my feelings.  'He has not mentioned the weight loss directly to me but his roommate has and he was there when we had the conversation. Plus he has taken my food order on more then one occassion and I custom order everything to point it drives him crazy. We gotta do what we gotta due right!  I will have to think about it and see what happens when I see Joey.... The guy that had weight loss was extremly insecure prior to surgery I know this first hand he was close to 500 pounds and he is like 225 now so I can understand his new attitude but the story even made me laugh ...He came into the bar with his own boom box dancing and when they told him turn it off he went out to the patio of the bar and danced. When we work comedy shows together he will bring me cds for him to dance to for the crowd. He reminds me if Rerun from What's Happening when he dances. I should arrange a comdey night for all us one night!

hmmm

Next time Joey makes a dumb insensitive comment like that, I'd ask him how that CRAZY penis enlargement surgery is working out for him.

For me personally i plan to shout it from the rooftops that I had WLS. I think we can be real powers of example to people who are suffering from obesity or may know someone suffering that WLS is NOT crazy and that it's a solution to so many *****ALLY need it.

Good luck.

Beth,    I know that I would have opened my mouth right then and there.  I probably would of said well I had that "crazy wls" and to tell you the truth, it really isn't that crazy.    At this point, time has past and he probably won't even remember that he made that comment.  Next time just chime right in and give him your opinion.  I think it's too late now. Gail

Hmmm....this is a tough one for me as well.  I have not told my parents or family about the surgery (only my hubby and 3 super close friends know).  My dad has been overweight most of his adult live and is now struggling with heart disease (has had numerous caths and bypass last year) and numerous other problems and I made up my mind that I do not want to live like that.  Now where the problem lies is with my mother - she refers to this surgery as "getting your guts cut out" - several women my dad works with had it done and for a while he considered it.  Well, she had a friggin fit and told him that he would be on his own to take care of himself and she would not help him in anyway (to her diet and exercise is the end all be all and if you cant do that you are lazy or have no will power).  So we have told her that I am having gynnie surgery to get rid of my uterine fibroids - she is fine with that.  But she did make the comment to me that "I know you wouldnt have that done because you are not that vein!"  - HUH???? So believe me - I know where you are coming from.  Part of me wants to smack my mother upside the head and tell her I am having this done and I need support and the other part of me is just tells myself to pick my battles with her.