how do u deal with depression post-op

i've always had issues w/depression but i've been good for almost 2 years, but my sister has breast cancer , my dad had been very sick for weeks,  he died last night at 4:35am  and i'm having a really really hard time with it all.   i'm usually a depressed eater, so now i'm lost.  i can't eat much, i feel so sick to my stomach cause i'm upset, and i just dont know how to deal right now.   i feel like i can't breath sometimes,   i know others who died but not as close as my daddy, i was a daddy's girl so this really hurts. 

I'm real sorry your Dad has died. The food as comfort/stress release is a big hurdle for alot of us. I wish I could say that I have conquered this problem completely, but I haven't. There isn't any way to bypass your grief. You need to let yourself mourn for all of your losses. Your parent, your past freedom to use any food any way you wished, your older body and size, which might have been protecting you from some stressful social growth. Chronic depression is just like any other disease. It needs to be medically managed through therapy/medication/good nutrition/regular exercise, which reduces stress hormones and increases production of mood enhancing hormone s. Some people have found journaling very helpful. No one but yourself has to ever see what you've written. Putting your thoughts on paper can sometimes lead to insights, ahah moments when we understand ourselves better and can move forward. I know how emotionally exhausting depression can be, any small steps you can take to move forward are positive ones. There aren't any shortcuts to resolving grief, you just have to let yourself feel the feelings and time will gradually ease the pain. I wish you the best during this difficult period. Please do your best to take care of yourself. Chris

Kimmie, I am so sorry about your daddy.   Please put in a call to your PCP and have him give you something to help you the next few weeks to get by.  You have the experience with depression so you know that right now what you are feeling is sadness and it is all part of the grieving process.   I know people say this but just take it one step at a time.  Try and keep some healthy food around so if you find yourself eating you have something that won't hurt you.   Kimmie, my heart goes out to you and I wish I was with you to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be OK.   My prayers will be with you and your family.   Jeanne

Kimmie, I am so sorry to hear about your dad.  You and your family will be in my prayers. I don't have any specific advice, since I'm still a pre-op myself, but I will say be gentle with yourself these next few days and weeks.  Make sure you get enough sleep, and enough protein and water too.  Take care. Hugs, Lesley

I'm sorry about your dad Kim. I'm not much help either as I am a total emotional eater as well. However for me I can't eat when I'm upset.

You're going to be ok, that much i can tell you.

Please accept my condolences on your father's death.  You will experience deep sadness at this time, and that is to be expected.  Cry, mourn, take walks and pray, if that is part of your faith.   I have been on antidepressants for years, and I lost my brother two months after my RNY, and I know how you feel.  Then, this year, after my hernia surgery, I lost my other brother.  It is an awful feeling.   If you need to, ask your PCP to prescribe an antidepressant to help you through this time. Hugs, Trish

Kim -  I am really sorry to hear about your dad, I know that he was ill for a long time. Try to remember that your surgery and the change in your life is for your own well-being. I think Trish gave you some good advice and she went through the same thing post-op. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care of yourself and let me know if you need anything. I lost my brother this year as well, so I know the pain and grief, also lost my dad almost 10 years ago and the pain is still pretty fresh. I was daddy's little girl as well. I hope you can find strength and support in your family and also in us. Take care. Katie

Kim, Sorry to hear about your father.  That is a hard loss to go through. Yes, even harder when you can't eat like you used to eat to console yourself. Get out and move as much as you can, walking can help - listen to songs on the radio (when I am depressed, oddly enough I listen to sadder songs - it helps me cry and get through.  Same thing with anger - I don't want a song to make me happy - rather an angry song to help me release my emotions.) But bottom line is - you have been through a lot and have the past history with depression - so if you need something if only temporarily - get a script from your doc to get you over the hump.  It won't cure your emotions or your want to eat - but it will help you keep yourself stable. Wishing you luck on this very rough topic! We're here if you need to vent. Pam

You are rightfully entitled to be depressed.  That being said, the way to get thru it is to change your surrounding to stimulate your brain to take in something new.  Take a drive to different area and walk around.  Keep yourself busy with outside activities.  The fresh air will help.  Its not a cure, but it will help.  I lost my dad four years ago, my 2nd husband 13 years ago, and a few others that were close but not as close as those two.  I got thru the severe loss of my husband by starting a new job that required that I get dressed up, make up and all, and needed to smile all the time.  This helped tremendously.  I had become a hostess in a restaurant for about 6 mos.  Before that I was a bookkeeper and still am.  I found that sitting at a desk all day pushing paperwork left me with too much thinking time.  By forcing myself to smile and shine everyday really gave my mind something else to focus on.  From there I went into sales, another smile and get fancy job.  While I was working at the restaurant I met husband number 3.  This really was a distraction, although I would not recommend it to anyone, the marriage ended miserably.  After my Dad passed I cared for my invalid Mother, which really put my life into perspecitve.  I did not want to wind up like her. So, I had this surgery.  Now that was the most dynamic thing I have ever done.  The loss of my dad was a major set back to me and my Mom, but the start of each day gives me more to look forward to all the time, aside from the fact that I know my Dad is with me and enjoying my success.  Can you put this into perspective for yourself.  Your Dad is with you, I know you can't feel it like you did when he was physically here, but believe me, he is with you through all your pain and loss.  He wants you to succeed, try a new routine every couple of days.  This should give you something to occupy your time with.  You of course will still think of your Dad, but you will not be spending as much time feeling as low as you are right now.   Let me know how you do with this.

Kimmie I am so sorry about your dad. I lost mine three years ago and boy was that rough. I still think about him all the time. When I do, I think about how proud he would be of me taking control of my life to be healthier. The pain eases up as time passes, but for now do what some others have suggested. I attended a support group after my dad passed and that did help. Arlene