2 years 6/26

Emotions and experiences whirl around my head....................I have lost 50% of my extra weight..( the minmal for being considered successful) I am 14lbs and a hacking away from a goal I said I would be happy with..50 from supreme satisfaction.  The skin is becoming cumbersome. Lost a lot of emotional pounds and regained health and energy. PEOPLE START WHERE I HAVE ENDED UP!!!! How did I let myself get so outta control to gain207lbs in the first place? Never a regret.. sometimes fear..that IT"S broken and sometimes that I am broken. The saggy haggy skin is scaring me.. Is that why I have stopped losing? Because I compare myself with others on what is a personal journey? I have met wonderful special people.. I am also feeling like i am on the outside....am I enough of a loser? Wish I had more faith in my nutritionist..I think I am trying to eat normal things and cravings and treats- just in tinier amounts..NOT so said the wise  men.So  school is over and I have worked out daily at the Y for 1 1/2 hrs. and the scale has not moved save for the 16 spots i keep changing it to trying to yield the more pleasing results. I feel like I am isolating.. not a good direction..usually the first step toward relapse.  When I connect with you people who are living this life know.. I am energized. I just fear that 50+ lbs still to go isn't happening.. Can it so late out?.. I resist commitment to anything.. it feels like prison. Thats why I wont Nail my food down..in advance - just my coffin. I must be hormonal cause my celebration sounds sad and I am not. I love you all and really get so much strength from everyone's support and honesty. I just feel inadequate when I, The great giver,,,,,,,,,,,,,feel like I am in so much need. so I pull back. I am reaffirming to you all now  that I am not giving up or giving in.. so happy anniversary to me and kisses to you all.  geri

Gery, I had these same fears while I look at the next 40+ pounds to go.  However, I learned that the scale may have slowed to a crawl but it is not halted.  I have cut my carbs to lower than or to match my fat intake and the scale is moving again.  Just this morning I lost a pound, and the same the day before.  All is not lost, but we all hope it to be.  Congratulations on your surgerversary tomorrow.  I am wishing you much success in getting to your goal and the ability to maintain.  Just keep your eye on the big picture and don't get disparaged.  We are all in this journey together.

Geri, First of all congratulations and happy anniversary.  You have really done a good job.  This journey is not an easy one and each one of our journey's are individual.  Keep plugging, you will continue to see the pounds go off.   Did you know that Jim is no longer the nut?  They have a new lady, if you are interested send me your e-mail address and I will send you her info.  Hang in there you will get to the number that will make you happy. Jeanne

Congratulations Geri, on your 2 year anniversary. Everyone's journey is different and we all have to do what works for us. You know you're feeling better and you're so close to your own personal goal that I know you will attain it. My personal goal isn't what the 'charts' say it should be either, but its my body and my life and I know it better than any generic chart. Best of luck to you as you continue on your journey, because it is a lifelong one. Kathy

Gerri You have had so many struggles along the way, but to your credit you continue to hang in. This is a lifelong commitment. Even when we reach a number goal it is not the end of this journey as we all know. We will be battling the weight demon until we take our last breath. But we have strength in numbers and our support for each other will get us through. We can win this battle together, so no surrendering. We need you with us. Congratulations on your anniversary and the success you have had so far. I admire your honesty and willingness to share your frustrations. That to me is such a positive quality. To celebrate your day, why not smash the scale? Hugs and kisses Arlene

Geri, You are such an inspiration on this board.  I do hope that you realize how far you have come, and how big of a difference that is!!  You are fantastic, and you are right - this is a personal journey - and everyone is different. It could take some time, ps, to see the work outs pay off.  After exercising, your body holds onto water to help repair the muscles.  Although your comment about moving the scale to the 14 different places did give me a chuckle - as I have done the same. Fabulous work!  Happy Surgiversary! Pam

Thanks for the caring and supportive words..it's heartwarming. Can't wait til I can be the cheerleader :>)  Alene, you made me tear up. Nannette, you are my inspiration..Pam you are the best cheerleader on the boards and Kathy, I hope to meet you soon. Jeanne..you are always offering sound and strong advice..and hope  thanks. geri

Geri, Happy Surgiversary!  You are a wonderful person, who when I get to see you, brings a smile not just to my face, but to my heart.  Perhaps it is the giver in you I respond to, as I am also of that ilk, but you personality is so much fun to be around!   As you stated, this is a personal journey, and while I am less than a year post-op, comparing is hard not to do and I also have done so and felt as though "what am I doing wrong" that everyone else is doing right?  Well, the only answer I came up with from coming here and reading various posts, is that we are all different and perservance and adherence to staying the course is what works, Nan is a prime example that comes to mind.  The saggy skin, well I have mine too, try not to let it get to you, it's really a small price to pay for being healthier and more energetic.  Working out consistently does get us the desired results, but it may not do so immediately, I had 6 weeks where I worked out 3 and 4 times a week and saw no weight loss whatsoever and it was very disheartening at this stage of the game, and as for moving the scale, I have done that one too (lol)!  Please don't isolate, love seeing you, wish I saw more of you, other than at the Pilgrimages, but seeing your face on here is a good thing and reading what is going on with you is great! Just want to say, you are "successing" and as was said, it is ongoing, not a destination that we reach! Hugs, lots and lots of hugs, Laureen

Congratulations Geri! Happy 2 Year Surgiversary!! You look wonderful!!!! :)..........Stefanie

Hello Geri, What Nut are you using?  I wonder if we can find one for you that you feel more comfortable.   I am totally open to doing the 5 day pouch test with you any time you want.  I wasn't kidding when I said that on Tuesday!  Just let me know... I am almost a year out, and I have been stalled for a while now.  I keep gaining and losing the same 4 lbs.  I am hovering right abover onederland, and I sometimes get depressed that I am never going to break that barrier.  But we have to keep using the tool that we have been given, and keep trying to go back to the basics. Writing down everything you eat, even if you aren't eating the "perfect" foods, is a very good start.  Heck, I have already had 3 cheese sticks and 4 ounces of cottage cheese today, and I can actually close my eyes and hear the vending machine calling me to buy some doritos!   Lets also start doing more research about plastic surgery.  I found a website for Dr. Whitham http://www.crozer.org/PhysProfiles/offices.aspx?physNum=308 but there isn't a whole lot of info on there.  just phone numbers and addresses.  I want to go to one of her talks about plastics. I just got notification about my 20 year high school reunion...  AHHHHHHH I am so glad I am going to be thinner at my 20 year reunion then I was at my 10 year, but I really hope no one asks me when the baby is due.  It certainly is a kick in the ass to get back to working out every day.  I am recommitting myself to exercising, and not just pole dancing twice a week.  Even though the pole is an excellent workout, I need more cardio to burn the fat...  LOL Love ya, Debi