Downward Spiral...
I have been going through some struggles with wanting to emotionally eat again. The first three months post op truly were a honeymoon period. I just didn't care about food. It was the last thing on my mind. And for like a second, I thought maybe the surgeon gave me a labotomy too and now I won't associate food with comfort! Wrong. By month four I was finding myself choosing foods that I wanted and not needed. I would go out to lunch or dinner with friends, and get the fries or nachos instead of a salad with some chicken. At first I didn't beat myself up, but then I was doing the closet eating thing again. Bringing these foods into my home. Maybe I wouldn't touch them right away, but as soon as I had a bad day I would go for the bad stuff and eat until I felt like I would burst. It's scary b/c I see now that this tool is just that, it has to be worked right in order to help me. I had a really really tough past few weeks and have found my eating increased, both amounts and frequency. I can eat more at a sitting now, I don't weigh or measure my food, and sooner rather than later I find myself eating again. I am scared that I am going to become that old person. I have had a weight plateau for a week now and so ion my mind my body is "changing it's mind" and I will gain all the weight back. I am so angry with myself. How do I stop this downward spiral???
Hi Carrie,
I am 4 months Post-OP and can tell you that my appetite is increasing as well. However because I hit the either get on the elliptical and walk every single day and have lost 60 pounds since 1/29 everytime I want to eat the bad things I think about how long I have to stay on that elliptical or go walking to burn off the calories. This works for me but I also sometimes indulge in little things like a slice of pizza or few fries. Don't beat your self up and remember that you worked really hard to get to this point. Do you have a support system within your family somebody who you can talk to when you are going thur the closet eating phase?? I recently started seeing a therapist to work out my issues you might want to consider why you are falling back into old habits. Remember not to beat yourself up and to learn to forgive youself for occasional slipups. I am sure we all have had them. Talk to your doctor and nutritionist if posiblle to help you keep on track. Good Luck!
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You most definitely need support, and would probably also benefit from therapy. I tried both, and found the former much more beneficial than the latter You mileage may vary.
There is no reason you should be eating those garbage foods right now. This is your honeymoon period, the time in which you can lose weight the most quickly and easily. You should strive to follow the rules 100% of the time. Accept no excuses and quit stuffing yourself full with garbage.
STOP THE UNHEALTHY EATING IMMEDIATELY. Period. If you continue to do this, you WILL gain your weight back. Is that what you want?
Are you on any kind of exercise program? Just curious, because that is essential to meeting your weight goals as well.
I was going to the gym about 3-4 times a week. My surgeon told me I should be out there excersising daily, doing some sort of cardio. She reminded me as well that this honeymoon period is my prime time for weightloss. I honestly had no idea, maybe it was mentioned before but it didn't register until that moment. I took two weeks off from the gym for various medical reasons. Last night was my first time back. It felt great. I also realized that if I know there is a down period of time in my night, and especially if I am feeling down, I need to work out. Go to the gym, go for a walk, just get out of my apartment and move. I have a choice, I can let my depression get the best of me or I can fight it. I need to fight this b/c I don't want to go back to where I was almost 5 months ago. And I can see a much healthier and happier me down the road...
You do need to take a step back and decide that you will not live you life this way. Dont beat yourself up, you ate like that longer than you have been post surgery habits are hard to change. What I would encourage you to do is get support, set a bottom line for youself and get some counseling. YOu are eating out of emotion not hunger. So you need to figure out why. There is a book that I recommend and have found helpful. It is called the Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck. It is not a diet, it is a 6 week cognitive behavioral approach to addressing the emotions and habits that are behind our obsessive eating. If you complete the 6 weeks of excercises in the book you will have a firmer foundation on which to build you new life and your new relationship with food.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I used to feel so happy that food was not an issue for me anymore i felt freed from a demon. BUT it did come back and I found myself reaching for the carbs, finding excuses to "eat bad". You will battle this forever but it will be easier with the right tools. Good luck and thanks for posting
The fact that you are posting this is fabulous - it shows you understand what you are doing to yourself.
First - get that crap out of your house this instant. I'm almost 8 mos out - and started to be able to eat a little more probably at about 6 mos out. Don't get me wrong - I am not the perfect WLS patient. I went through a phase where I stopped taking vitamins for about 2 weeks (I take them now). I also have an occassional slice of pizza - but that is rare. And when we go out to dinner, I order my food and then have maybe two or three fries off of hubby's plate.
I exercise and that is key. At this time frame, I am supposedly 6 pounds from goal - however - I am very very happy where I am and am looking to maintain now, not get to just a number.
I noticed Dr. P did your surgery. Barix holds meetings for post op. It's the third Wednesday of every month at 7pm in the lobby. There was one just this Wednesday. There is also a pre op support group on the 2nd TUESDAY of each month. Obviously topics are geared towards pre op - but some post ops go just for added connections.
Then of course there is Heather Wards support group which she mentioned.
You are much to early out to be doing this to yourself. The first 6 mos to a year is the honeymoon phase depending on the person. The thing with this phase is that you have use that time to get yourself retrained. They say it takes 2 weeks to build a new habit - well you need to build all new habits for this life you want to enjoy.
Therapy works for some as has been mentioned. You may want to look into that.
If all else fails - come to the boards daily. I know it helps keep me accountable.
Pam
Instead of complaining that the rosebush has thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses. 
You can bring your portion sizes down by starting the 5 day pouch test. It will show you what foods leave you feeling fuller than others. By the 5th day, you should be living in day 4-5 until goal. Realize also that your appetite will increase over time. Get it under control while you are in the early stages. Keep a food journal and count Calories, Fat, Carbs and Protein. It will help you notice patterns and the nutritionist will use this information to help you gain control over your old habits.
Some days your the dog and some days your the hydrant.
Thank you all for your support! I will take each one of your suggestions and try them. I am currently trying to focus on one day at a time with everything in my life. Attitude, food, excersise. I have to believe that my desire to not go back with outweigh my desire for the food. I plan on setting up a therapy session this week. I have been more diligent about writing my food in my journal, but think I should be addressing the grams of fat and calories involved, not just the amount of protein. I am also looking into going abck into Overeaters Annoymous. I was involved with that group when I lived in Massachusetts and felt they were a good spiritual support. I still read their literature. I thank you all again for your support, you are all my angels :o)
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