Memorials Page.

Well, I stumbled on it last night.   And now I just feel sick.  Scared (even more than I was before) and conflicted.  I know it's pointless to say this but if you haven't see it and look around DON'T!  I feel so discouraged now.   Did anyone else go through this?  Part of me thinks it's sweet but part of me wonders if the creators understood how horribly discouraging and scary it's existence would be for newbies like me.  UGH!  I need some sedatives. Cheers and Can't Stop the Fears! -Betty

Hey Betty, When I first journeyed into this over two years ago, I too stumbled upon that page.  My first reaction was similar to yours.  Why would they post a board filled with the unfortunate ones that didn't make it. I could see maybe on the main messageboard maybe mentioning that so and so had complications from his/her surgery and didn't make it through.  Please keep him/her in your thoughts and prayers.  To have a list of those that passed away from complications, to me, seemed counterproductive.  Don't let it discourage you, however.  That list is so miniscule compared to all of us that made it.  Yes, there are obviously risks.  But the risks are well worth it in my opinion.  Without this surgery I would've been in the obituaries page in my local paper from a heart attack or stroke instead of on this website if I had died from complications.

Betty,    I have not looked at it but of course being pre-op all these things go through your head. I had a talk with my doctor about about this and she made a valid point with any surgery there is a risk involved. But every day there are car accidents and people die. Do you drive or ride in a car? You can walk out your door and run the risk of dying but you leave your house.  Your concerns are valid but make a list of pros and cons to the surgery talk to your surgeon what is his mortality rate.  I know for me that surgery was my last chance to lose weight to stop my knees from aching and in my mind I knew my Mom died at 55 heart attack and she was over weight. I didn't want 15 years to live!

Hello Betty, If you notice, some people on the memorial pages passed away from car accidents, from natural causes, etc.  It doesn't mean each one of them passed away because of a complication from wls.  Also, WLS just started to be regulated recently.  So many more people passed away in 2000, than will in 2008.  It is still a horrible thing, to die when you are just trying to find a way to live a healthier life.  But I bet, if you asked each one of them, would you do it all over again, most of them would say yes, in a heart beat. Debi

I stumbled apon that page about 2 weeks before my surgery.  And my original surgery had been cancelled two weeks before that for an undiagnosed thyroid problem - so I was taking it all as "signs" that I shouldn't have the surgery. many of them did NOT pass away from WLS.  It was other un related incidents. I think many of us have stumbled apon that page - but know that the surgeries now are much different than what they were, as is the after care and "stages" we go through in eating.  10 years ago WLS patients were eating egg salad the morning after surgery and "expected" to be able to finish a happy meal at the two week mark.  Now, although every program is different, mine I was on clear liquids only for 1 week, 2 weeks of full liquids, 1 week of pureed, 1 week of softs, and then regular food.  Hell, I'm 8 months out and couldn't finish a happy meal now if you paid me. It's ok to feel what you are feeling - but do some soul searching and figure out if you will be part of that list if you DON'T have WLS surgery.  Oh, and don't look at that page again ;-) Pam

Thanks everyone for your very well thought out and helpful responses to my post today.  I am not backing out of the surgery.  I feel like it's the ONLY WAY I am going to be able to lose this weight.  I am still scared (there'd be something wrong with me if I wasn't!) but my desire to be healthier and more capable of caring for my 18 month old daughter is very strong.  I believe those desires will win in the end. I am really glad I found this board... I admit most (if not all) the posts I have started have been about my fears... but as time passes (possibly even Pre-Op) that will change.  I am usually a very optimistic person... and I have some great stories about my life, my family and the places that both have taken me.  Cheers and Appreciation! -Betty

If you lived through childbirth you will get through this... that is what I kept telling myself... my daughter was around 15m old when I had the surgery... and my dad was out for a month helping me with her... you might need some help for a while as well... I couldn't get her in and out of her crib or in and out of the high chair... those little things... plus when I needed a nap... granddad took her to the park so I could crash...

But just keep thinking if I made it through being pregnant and childbirth you can get through this surgery...