Thanks to all those *****plied. I am back on just liquids because no I am not supposed to have anything like bannanas or chese yet. Telling myself to be patient. Not sure if I was made to be on a liqpid diet.

Re-reading your post I have no idea where I got babies on my mind....must of been mixed up with Kelly's event.  Anyways, my statement stands that when your kids are having issues it is so hard - impossible to not feel it in your heart too.  There are times when having distance can lead them to have to resolve some of their situations without you.  I was just relating some of my hard times in my growing years after I left home, to my husband recently, marveling at how young I was (because at 19 is didn't know I was so young!) and wondering how on earth I didn't turn to my mother whom I loved and could have turned to.  She was in Florida, me in California.  Yet, I did handle those things and did have the foundation my parents had instilled in me to at least get me through.  It just wasn't an option to me to call them because I didn't want to let them know.  As a mother I now know there's nothing I can't take, and I think my kids know that.  I'm not sure my parents generation had that image with us kids.  Still, I have seen my son stop turning to us on some things he could have, and I guess it IS part of growing up.  Except I know he isn't dealing with the situations I was.  His life is so on track.  If it's any comfort Joy, I was doing some pretty BAD stuff that would make any mother feel like it wasn't going to turn out right.  By twenty five I had met and married my husband and I never ever made a wrong turn that worried my mother again (except gaining all that weight).  My magnet came pulling back to my own families values and homelife style.  I know my kids have the same home I was blessed with growing up and it makes me proud and grateful that my conviction to provide that is like a rock in my husbands and my marriage,  and parenting parenting values. 

One of the hardest things to do is have faith.  There is no crystal ball to say everything is going to be all right, and if only there had been with my son, I wouldn't have been the wreck I felt for so many years.  Two of my kids have had medical and learning challenges, but I do know that what hasn't broken us has for sure made us stronger.  I'm pretty proactive with my kids, a true advocate they needed to navigate a system that will shunt you off if possible.  As they get older they have had to learn I can't fix everything.  Some things have to be excepted and known it's O.K. - it's just part of who we are, but it doesn't define us.  It is really had, but with our family sympathy and acceptance it has seemed to enable them to find ways to thrive.   Other things they just have to deal with and they find out that they can. 

A mantra I have found helpful in my feelings about past weight pain, my own sibiling and parent issues and my own children and my own feelings about some of my friends has been......let it go.  It can be the best and most freeing thing that in the end is much more effective than beating a subject or my head against an emotional wall.  I just tell my self "Patty let it go".  It's hard to do, but some of the best things with my sibilings has occurred after I took that mindset.  Acceptance is a hard thing to do, but sometimes it is the very best thing you can do.  Take what you can that is good, and leave the bad stuff for them to deal with on their own.  I just enjoy my sister for the afternoon we can have together instead of me being bothered by how much better she should be doing.  I have no exptectations for who is going to be in her home or how changed she is from the middle class girl she left our family home being.  I just look for a few hours as who she is and was to me, and it is so much better than when I was always disappointed and hurting for her.  In return we actually have a relationship again and she is so much less defensive.  It has its limits but it does't eat me up anymore. 

My struggle has always been anxiety not depression, but they can both be hard to manage.  Since I have lost all my weight it has been one of my absolute rules I don't slack off on managing.  I might slack off on the excercise and eating habits, but I don't miss my doctor appointments or ever stop accessing and/or tweaking my medication.  It is a huge help in keeping me on an even keel.  It colors everything in my daily life and makes everything seem doable. 

Keep at it.  And really - lets meet up next week if we can.

Patty

Hey

Okay so gastric bypass surgery. was a week ago today. How happy I am its this Friday and not last.
I am off all pain meds and have no nausea or vomiting. I am actually worried because its gone so well, maybe it won't work for me. I have only lost 3 pounds. The only thing is that I am tired and dizzy. I really hope they did something other than just put holes in me.My surgery was about 4 hours so they must thave done something Are your insides supposed to feel different? Mine don't

I can keep bannanas and lactose free string cheese down.

Is it okay to keep eating them as long as I have no nausea or vomiting?

 Great news Vicki!  I think I'll hold out for the lemon cream.  They were my absolute favorites.  I still have a lot of calcium horse pills to swallow in the meanwhile.

Girl, it appears that it's time for some pictures of you -- you're down over 100 pounds total.  CONGRATULATIONS!  I hope you're feeling fabulous.  Hope to see you again sometime.

Linda

Patty,

My knee is pretty good, though not 100%.  My range of motion is 135, so they kicked me out of PT a long time ago. LOL  I do get some burning sensation occasionally.  I have researched it and it seems to be a common complaint.  The surgery was the most painful I have ever experienced.  I'm not sure I would do it again.... oh, I guess I would.  It is wonderful to be able to walk without a limp.  I think that everyone needs to do their research and decide for themselves whether to have the surgery, or not.  Oh Yeah, I also set off the alarms at airports.  Geez, I showed them my huge scar, but I guess they thought I might be sneaking a bomb onboard, safely tucked into my knee!

The weight problem mostly revolves around the crises that each of my children are experiencing right now.  All three are having some major issues and I am trying to help as much as possible.  It just is never enough.  Yes, watching CNN doesn't help.  I am thinking of upping my antidepressant, if things don't improve soon.

If you ever have some time on your hands (HA!) let's get together for a cheap lunch, or something.  Take good care of you, girl!

Joy