This is stupid .. I am lonely

this sounds really stupid.. but I am lonely.. for people that understand what it is like to be large.. for friends that understand.. (sigh) but also I am finding for the first time in 5 years that I would not I think mind if a guy thought I was cute.. now doesn't that sound stupid.. I have not cared since my divorce.. and in some ways I think I hide also behind my size.. so that I could have that as an excuse.. but here I am having so far lost 125lbs..(though I still have more to go).. and wish that it was a bit different.. the incurable romantic part of me that I thought was gone is coming back alive.. now what do I do???? this weight loss thing can sometimes be a pain

Put on your high heeled sneakers and your wighat, baby and get out into the world! Take a dance class, or poetry or a reading club or a churchgroup or a support group or a club or a (fill in the blank) Get out and be with people and, oh by the way, the way to meet interesting and interested people is to be one! enjoy! tee

I do. I go to college.. I sing in a celtic band.. I dance.. I create many things such as medieval costumes etc.. I have wonderful friends.. I am just lonely for something.. just not sure what.. I think I knew better than to admit such a things here.. tis alright.. and this too shall pass

Your response confuses me. You knew better than to admit what things? That sounds like you had the idea someone would know better than you do what it is that is bothering you. I'm sorry I guessed wrong. At the risk of saying the wrong thing again, if the things you are involved in are not doing it for you, find something that does. Sounds like a case of ennui to me. And, you are right. This,too, shall pass. We all feel that way sometimes. Even those of us in a strong and wonderful relationship. I hope whatever it is, it passes quickly. Or whatever you learn from it makes the experience worth it. tee

renee, For many people fat is a wall of protection. Not only from the outside world but from yourself as well. You can blame so much on being fat. you can hide your true feelings/wants/needs on the fact that you can't have them/aren't worthy of them becuase your so big. now the wall is coming down and you say to yourself "what the hell do I do now". I am lonely too. and more confused than I was before surgery. figuring out what I want, don't want, who to be and so on.. I'm alone becuase 1. I choose to be.. 2. I refuse to settle just to have someone ever again. 3. I am ultra picky. 4. I am EMOTIONALY UNAVAILABLE.. sorry you feel bad about admiting this on this board. I think it's a good topic. at least for us single people take care theresa

there is much to be said about hiding.. which is true.. after being divorced 5 years ago I was not the least bit interested in men.. did not want to get hurt again.. after all 25 years of what seemed like a good marriage ending was not my idea of fun.. and you are right the size of me made a good excuse.. and again you are right cause now.. the fat is going away.. I find myself looking at guys.. smiling and having smiles returned.. that incurable romantic is coming alive.. (sigh).. I think that I had not thought about the fact that it is a differrent sort of companionship that I am wanting.. at least that may be possible.. I am by nature a very gregarious person.. and even the size did not stop that... many of my feelings are wrapped around size issues.. even thinner I am still thinking I am larger.. I got so used to peoples reactions that I am not sure now how to respond.. the loneliness.. hummm I have many friends... but I suppose it is a relationship of a different kind that I am lonly for.. and that will if it is meant to be .. will happen in time.. hopefully at the right time.. when I am in the midst of revelling in my new self.. my freer self that some handsome man will come along and sweep me off my feet.. weather I wi**** or no.. I am also lonely for people that understand this weight thing.. and its effect on me.. but that is why this place is here.. though it would be nice to find people that I could talk with face to face.. people that I could laugh and cry with as the discovery of new things happens.. the collar bone. the rib bones.. the ability to move.. to dance.. to twirl.. to someday run if only for a little while.. or a moment.. to walk uphill without being out of breath.. to flirt.. to wear sexy.. smaller things.. I am at this moment in a state of bewilderment because I can make a blouse with a1 1/2 yards of material.. a peasant blouse mind you.. the prospects are mind boggleing.. and it stands to reason that there will be loneliness.. maybe it is lonliness for the person that was trapped for so long.. or the person that hid me so well and for so long.. but that is why this place is here.. to share.. to discover.. to find and give understanding.. for the person that so "nicely" emailed me and told me to "get over it" I thank you.. I should not have written my repsonse here.. when I said I should have known better.. it is not to these good people that needed to hear my response.. but you.. I am blissfully and happily rediscovering Renee.. and it is an adventure.. one that I want to share.. either here.. or whereever I can.. it is fun.. it is a delight.. it is part of the adventure of life..

(((Renee))) I don't know what to say. I know how you feel for I felt the same way before I met my husband years ago, but thankfully I haven't had to go this alone. I can only imagine. I think there probably is no pat answer. I think sometimes it just takes time. We want everything to just hurry up and get to "normal" but it takes awhile for our brains and emotions to catch up to our weight loss. The thing is, and as not fun as it is, you have now reached the point of being normal to a degree. A year ago you might not have considered it possible, so you may have ignored your feelings more. Now that it is in your mind more possible, you may be suddenly feeling more lonely....even if you had been feeling it underneath for years. Finding someone was never easy for me. I couldn't seek it out. I had to wait for it to happen. Whenever I tried to make it happen for me, I just came off as desperate and not clicking with anyone. It was just the luck of the draw for me that I met my future husband at work. I wish I had pat answers for you, but hopefully you'll find a sweet spot of knowing that it sometimes just takes time and being in the right place at the right time, and realizing that it will happen for you....but that it's always when we least expect it. Take care! Dina