I don't have a support network..(sigh)

I am single and in reading all the posts and reading many people saying you need a good support network.. I don't have one.. I have no family that would help or care.. and I have a few friends.. one would be there but has problems cause she is a live in nanny for her grandchildren .. so she can't but will do what she can.. so what do I do if I don't have a support network... I even read where people have their families there at the hostpital with them.. helping them.. I am not even close to haveing the operation.. I know that my insurance will cover it.. already did my homework there. part of the problem is doing it in a different city most of my fiends can't drive tht far just to see me.. I know that my best friend will take me..sit with me before.. and even wait to see if I am okay after surgery.. and even take me home.. she will also call and help when she can.. but with 3 little ones to take care of .. I do not expect much else from her.. though she will be there as she can.. so how does one get a support network... Renee BMI 55.8 wgt-367

Hi Renee, I didn't have alot of support when I began this journey, my only support at the time was my daughter who lives 5 1/2 hrs. away and 7 1/2 from where I was having my surgery. The important thing in my opinion is someone to wait with you to go into surgery. I was so groggy the first 2 days after surgery, I sent my husband home the next day and my mom sat at the motel most of the 3 days after. On the 4th day she came and took me home, that was nice. And I had a 2 1/2 hr. ride home, so if you can cover the days that will be most important to you, and leave a space in between to rest and recover. Remember you will have a nurse who will be there to help you, and there were a couple of times I was glad my hubby wasn't there to see my most private times (bathroom stuff). You will also be up and walking around the ward as soon as possible. I wish I could tell you about a support network but the truth is my mom and hubby were trying to talk me out of this operation from the beginning, now they wouldn't but then they did. So my sole means of support was my drive to suceed and my daughter from a distance whom I kept in phone contact with. Mind you the first 2 days were very short conversations...Try and find a angel if you can, someone who is close to where you live would be better. Good Luck!

Renee - I assume your insurance doesn't pay for your local surgeons in Eugene? As for a support network, I would encourage you to seek out the support groups in your local area. Go there every week and build your support that way. Who knows - you may find that there is someone there willing to go with you. You really shouldn't drive home on your own after surgery. I can't remember if you are going open or lap, but if open, that is something I'd highly recommend against. You're just too tight and stiff to have quick reflexes. Dina

Dr Flanafan here in Eugene will not take my insurance.. in fact I was told that he was thinking about not taking any insurance cause he does not get enough money.. that was what the lady at his office said.. which I think is silly.. I want to have it Lap.. cause I know I do well with Lap usually.. had my gallbladder taken out 2 years ago.. it was septic and I almost died.. but I recovered quite well. I want to go to the local support groups.. if I can find them..

Renee - this isn't the first time I've heard stories about Flanagan feeling like the poor little surgeon for not getting enough money. He's greedy if you ask me. This surgery is a cash cow for surgeons right now and he isn't getting reimbursed any less than the others out there. They charge a hell of a lot more for this surgery than other surgeries that require the same amount of skill and/or time. That and the hospitals charge a hell of a lot more as well. Heck, a basic open heart surgery is arond $50,000 total. I've heard of this wls costing over $50,000 in some areas of the country. Why would that be? Grrrr - sorry to vent off so much but this annoys me. We are lining the pockets of greedy (and oftentimes now, unskilled) surgeons who are being led by dollar signs. They see a desperate need and want to cash in on it. Poor Dr. Flanagan. I'm sure his Mercedes is a couple years old by now. Poor thing. Dina

well I heard it first from his receptionist.. then his office manager.. and they were none to pleasnat about it.. when I asked why they did not take my insurance.. (they had taken it from someone else a few months ago.) they said that the Doctor was not getting enough money.. so he just wasn't going to take insurance any more and mine was one of the first ones he wasn't taking.. this is very frustrating for me.. it is going to be really hard for me to go to Portand.. but I will do what I have to do.. I think it is terrible.. I had heard good things about Flanagan only to now find out he was only in it for the money.. that is distressing for me. I also did not like how rude they were to me.. It is just hard enough to do it alone but to have it done where my friends can't even come to see me.. but that is in no way going to deter me from my course of action.. I want to live.. really live and with this weight I am not living.. Frustration reigns supreme sometimes though especially when my insurance is one that will not create a big hassle as long as I fit their criteria .. which I do in spades..