I need Answers Please!!!

Hi All, It's that time again. Yes, for me to vent. My support systems are in order, my weight is pulling off fast, but fast in who's eyes? Not mine that is for sure. Oh you look so good, to who? Not me. I know you feel good, No not really. Sure I can eat just about anything and not get sick, at least for now. Be thankful they say, oh but I am thankful. So what are you trying to say they ask? I am doing this thing because I have no choice at his point I say. But in the meantime can anybody tell me when does it get better. I have talked with my therapist, I have talked with my Lisa C. I have talked with Lisa D. I have talked with Wendy, I have talked with Debbie and tons of others. But when do I feel better I ask. Now what I need to know is the real deal. I need to talk to someone who is having the emotional difficulties that I am having. I am not sure what is wrong, is it just me, am I the only one that feels this way. I mean I read post after post after post and I hear all the glitz and glamour, but I have yet to come across anyone that has really displayed any real emotional trauma. If you are out there please respond because I need to talk. If you do not wanna tell your story on air please email me privately. I just need to know am I the only person that feels this way. I can give very good advice, and I can give lots of support and say encouraging things and mean them from the bottom of my heart, but I can not take my own advice, I am terrible at being my own support person. I am not trying to scare and new post ops or pre ops, this does not affect everybody the same, but for me it is beyond anything I could have evr conceived mentally and before I loose my mind I just need to know is it me? Am I the only person that feels this way? Adrienne

I'm not sure I can help. I'm pre-op, but I am trying to get the "real deal" myself....the scoop on the emotional difficulties that I am sure will come way once I am post op. It's good for me to see someone being honest about thier struggles. I don't mean to suggest that other posts that are more on the upbeast side are dishonest....but you are right when you say that there are many more people blowing all sunshine and roses at you and do not address the darkness and the grief. What I have been trying to do is allow myself to grieve. In a way...with deciding on WLS...it feel like defeat. Not defeated in the battle for my health...but defeated in the HUGE DESIRE I have to live a normal life. Lets face it.....being morbidly obese is NOT normal, nor is having your innards rearranged! My life will never be "normal"...and I have to grieve for that dream. I have to face up to the fact that I will never be normal. That totally sucks!!!! You know what sucks more is being morbidly obese and watching my health deteriorate. At this point, the WLS is the lesser of two evils. I'm looking forward to the benifits of being a healthy weight and size....but I am definitely grieving too. I'm hoping this is a normal thing...because it seem more natural to me that I should be sad...than super happy. I do have my moments when I get stoked about being thin.....but I go back and forth so much between that and being in the dumps about having to take such extreme measures. I wish I could help you. I wish I could reach out through the all the little electonic impulses and lights and switches...through the computer to give you a big hug. I can't though. I can't say that you should not be feeling the way you do either. I think you should be, honestly. Pushing all that stuff down isn't going to get rid of it...it needs to be addressed. That's my theory, anyway. I'm not good at faking myself out...I have to address these things and it helps me that you are doing the same. I know that sounds wierd, and I hope it's not offensive. I'll be thinking of you, and hoping we both can learn to cope with these drastic measures we're taking to re-claim our health. Take care, friend. -Mary

I totally believe in letting everyone know the real story. This surgery is not easy and its not simple. First let me say my surgery went very well (June 3rd, 2003). I had no complications or real difficulties, but yes, I was sick a lot of the time. Recovery takes time. About 4-5 weeks after my surgery I woke up every day saying "What the hell have I done to myself?" It was not so much physical as it was emotional. I had to turn to my support people and they had to keep reminding my that it will get better. I reall had to focus on one day at a time, and then it got to one hour at a time. I made several trips to my doctor who tried to help, but basically said, this was major surgery -- it takes time. The good news is: they were all right. It does take time, it does get better. I am now 6 months out - down 94 pounds (277 - 183). I still have days where I don't feel 100 percent. But most of the time things are really good. I am far from model skinny, but I have so much energy and my health is very much improved. I am looking forward to the future that I now should be able to enjoy. E-mail me if I can share more details, you are not making this journey alone.

Hi Adrienne! Let me say at the outset that I have not had a weight loss surgery - yet! - but I have had a lot of traumatic experiences in my life and certainly understand emotional upset. And, I would like to offer my support if it can help at all... Anyway...what emotional upsets are you experiencing? From your post I can imagine you are disappointed that the weight loss isn't happening fast enough? Or that its hard to follow the requirements your body now has for eating (or, more specifically, NOT eating?) Are you in pain? As I understand it, it is normal for people to go through post-operative depression when they have had a major surgery...no matter what the surgery is. I suspect it has to do with the body changes and hormonal changes and all that.... So, I will look for your next post describing your feelings. In the meantime, know you are beautiful, wonderful and we are glad you came here to share yourself with us. Sincerely, Vena