off subject, but very important-my heart is breaking

i am currently dealing with a situation invlolving a very bright young girl, who i have raised 99 % of her life, she is 5 now. her pathatic mother called me friday from down the street from my house and said that i needed to come get the child because she was getting arrested and going to jail. mind you i have bent over backwards to help this girl, put up with bold faced lieing and millions of other things. it broke my heart that she had her daughter in the car with her while all this happened. she got pulled over for driving a stolen car, then tried to speed away from the cops. then pulled into some random driveway and then tried to run from them. they catch her and she says she lives at this house and lies about everything else they ask her, she has weed, a pipe, and a pill of x on her. so they arrest her and release the child to me. until court on monday. this will be her third offense of child endangerment/child neglect. but still i am afraid when i go to court tomorrow they will let her go back to her. even though she lives with me 99 % of the time. she wont even get her to school , she went 2 days since starting on the 15th while living with her. (in another town with some guy she hardly knows, who beat her up in front of her child just weeks ago) all i want is for the court to give me guardianship so i can enroll her school with my boys, who she calls her brothers. and give her a normal childhood which she so much deserves. my heart aches and i have knots in my stomach. i am so afraid they are going to fail this child again. ( the bio dad is not on her bc and has never taken a paternity test to prove he is the father) so he has no rights. i just had to vent.........so i could stop balling. i will probably write more later. since there is soososo much more to this story. but thanks for reading . oh and if anyone has any information on how the dhs system in oregon is run. please let me know
sandra

A co-worker of mine had a similar situation where she raised her grand kids for a while. Are you related to the girl? If you are that may help.

I work for the state, but in another agency unrelated to DHS. I will ask my friend if she has any suggestions for you. Hang in there. You are doing something wonderful for that girl.

My SIL had a similar situation. The mother also called her to take the child when she was arrested. My SIL was approved as a foster parent and he has been a part of the family ever since. It has not all been easy and there was a few bumps including the mother getting him back for a short period and a member of the fathers family suddenly coming out of the woodwork. But finally 3 years later we have a large courtroom reserved to sign the final adoption papers in a couple weeks. It is all worth it for this boy who still has some major behavioral problems (although not nearly as severe as 3 yrs ago) to have a chance at a nomal life.

What a sad situation for a little girl to be in. I wish I could tell you something about the DHS system here but I really don't know much about it. I hope things work out for you to get custody/gaurdianship. Please let us know how it goes.

thank you all for all of your encouraging words and prayers. i guess some of it really helped because today in court the judge granted me temporary guardianship and as a condition of her release she is to have NO contact with the child. i enrolled her in school today and her biological dad and grandpa brought me a check to go out and buy her school supplies and school clothes. he is going to go to the courts and get paternity established so that he can fight for full custody of her. and with that he has agreed to leave her here with me on a full time basis , if he gets custody. so she can have the stability of our home. and he will just visit with her. he is a good boy, and works hard for his family business. and i trust him. he just had a one night stand with the child's mom and ever since then she has played him. she wouldn't let him see her unless he gave her money, but on the other hand she would never make her available to be tested for paternity. because she didn't want him to have any rights to her. so she had him between a rock and hard place.

for now she is doing well , she loves being at our home. she loves playing with her 'brothers' my boys. she is very excited to start kindergarten in the morning. and i have a little less worry in my heart for now. but we will see where this all goes in a month or so. so all pray for us and that she can continue to be with us .....

I'm so glad you got temporary guardianship. She sounds like a wonderful little girl. Please keep us updated on what happens. How great it is she has someone like you there for her!

Sandra,
I know Oregon system very well. I serve on the state foster care board.   as well as many other hats in the state. I am an foster/ adoptive mom.  what a Blessing to have the girl go directly to your home without quick licence.  Typically they go directly to another home first.  Please feel free to email me privatly as well you can also find me throught Oregon Foster Parent Association.  We have many wonderful people that can help you with any questions.  Sometimes the lingo is overwhelming not to mention the rollercoaster of emotions. One of the things I teach is being an advocate for these kids and not stopping and letting the system take over! You are doing a great job already knowing she went to a home she new has saved her trauma already! Documentation is important as well.  Make sure you are documenting in a wire bound book.  This will help you as well think clearly.  oops I forgot I am not on my typical foster parent board! I can get you connected to others in your county as well.

Great job to your family- Your kids also! It takes a whole family and they will to be Blessed for sharing their momma!
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Danielle

Awesome news and a much better resource than mine!

I'm still sending the prayers - glad they helped!

God bless you! I know it means a lot to this little girl.(even if she is upset now)
My Grandmother raised me my since I was 10 days old , and I am so grateful. she even raised my cousins for the most of their lives. she just turned 77, she is an awesome woman.

last year my husband and I fostered my cousins children, a two year old and a six month old along with my one year daughter. Three kids under 2....LOL. and I'm only 22
 I became too attached to them and now their mother has them and she is terrible-but apparently not doing anything that counts as "illegal" anymore. BAH!

I pray for the good works that you are doing!

i know how you feel about the"not doing anything that counts as illegal anymore". i know this will probably end up happening and she will get her back. and it will start all over again. it breaks my heart. because my husband and i and our boys are very attached to her.

and also kudos to you for taking care of your cousins kids, 3 kids under 2 had to be a challenge. like haveing triplets,lol. and thank god for your grandma, she is your guardian angel.