My Date is 8-20-08

A week from today is my big day and I am very nervous.  I am a new nurse and all my nursing friends have told me lots of awful things for surgery complications.   I could use words of support.  I am a mom to seven year old twins and one of my twins is nervous about me having surgery and it is hard to comfort him when I am so nervous. 

Jennifer

I am new on my journey and a mother of a small child too.
My mother is not very supportive and has a negative story to tell everytime I mention the surgery. She knows people who have gained it back or some other unsupportive thing...
But here is what keeps me going...my daughter. She deserves a mother who feels good about herself, who is not sick all of the time, who can't hike with her or bike ride with her. I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. I wear clothes that are not my style because of my weight. My child deserves a 100 percent mother. Obesity kills too. If Jenny Craig or Weigh****chers had worked for us we would have done it gladly. We are doing surgery because nothing else has worked and we want a chance to live a full life.
I showed my daughter some before and after photos and she got excited. Just let him know that after you heal you will feel better and be able to do more fun things. Assure him you will be ok. Which you will be. The chances of problems in the hands of a good surgeon is low. The surgery has gotten safer and safer. People think of the old days when the surgery was more invasive. Medicine has improved so much since then.
It will be hard at first, with the recovery and everything but most people don't regret the surgery.
You are going to be okay.

Very nice reply!!

Trisha

To help your son, you might check with your local public library to see if they have any children's books on how to cope when a parent is ill or having surgery.  And, just letting him talk about his fears and acknowleging them without placing too much emphasis on them may help. Maybe talking about looking forward to the fun things the two (or three) of you might be able to do when you are lighter and healthier? Perhaps helping him plan for a specific fun thing to do after your recovery would take his focus off the surgery and put it on the future.

Thanks this is a great suggestion !!

Aw honey, sorry you are so nervous. I was very apprehensive about the surgery as well. I looked at it this way....... I'm 40, in great health other than Obesity and the health issues related to my obesity. My chances of living rather than just being alive makes the surgery worth everything to me. Some people do have health issues that may compromise the surgery or that the surgery may compromise, some have underlying issues that no one may not know about until complications arise during or after the surgery. It is always a risk to have any type of surgery. Everyone is different and I know it doesn't comfort a 7 year old...hopefully you can start pointing out all the positives that may come out of this and all of things you are looking forward to doing.

Good luck. I will definitely be thinking of you and praying for a great surgery and recovery, and the wonderful journey that follows.

Aloha and Best Wishes,
Merit

How sweet are you thank you for your good thoughts !!!

Hi there:

Nothing really to be nervous about,   You will be out of surgery and in recovery before you know it.  When I had my surgery, we now ( thru a surrogate) have 27 month old twins.  They were just 5 months old when I had my surgery.  Now they are terror on 2 legs LOL  Into everything.  I have boy/ girl twins.  I am now almost 2 yrs post-op and almost 300 lbs down.  It is an amazing feeling.

Good luck,

Peggy

I know exactly where you are coming from.  I have 6 kids ages 20,19,18,13,11,4.  I know my older kids would be fine if something happened to me during surgery but my baby would just be devestated.  Not that the others would'nt but he is my baby!  I know in my heart all will go ok but you always have this nagging thing that says what if.....My advice would be just pray. That is all I have done and with God on your side all will be OK.

                                                  Good Luck,
                                                       Lori
I will watch the boards to see how your surgery was.

Jennifer,

You should have had surgery a bit over a week ago.  How did everything go?  Are you also a nurse at OHSU?

I'm sorry that your nursing friends were not more supportive of your efforts to attain good health.  It is NOT helpful to dwell on the negative.  It IS important to KNOW that those possibilities do exist, but the chances of them happening are very small.

Please come back and update the board so we know how you are doing.

{{{hugs}}}

Trisha