Venting

Hi, I'm a newbie and I guess I just need a place to vent... I'm 22 years old, 204lbs and 5'2. I've been overweight ever since I was in middle school. I'm at a pretty low point in terms of self esteem. I can't seem to drop the weight no matter what I try. I've had periods of success but like most people just end up gaining it all back. It's awful. I feel completely helpless. I feel like a freak. I feel ugly. I don't know what to do about it anymore and I just feel like I can't accept the fact that this is how it will be for the rest of my life. I really want to get lap-band surgery but I don't qualify because my BMI is 37 and I don't have any major health problems..except for the whole depression/self esteem issues...but I guess in the eyes of insurance and doctors that doesn't count as "significant." Even if I qualified BMI-wise I would never be able to afford it, not to mention my mother totally freaked out on me when I even mentioned I was thinking about having surgery. I hate to sound so negative, but what am I supposed to do? The statistics are against me. Studies show that it is near impossible for people to keep the weight off with diet and excercise alone. I feel alone in this. I don't really know where to go to talk about it because my boyfriend doesn't want to hear me complain about it (and who could blame him) and most online forums are for folks who have had surgery or are going to have it. Anyway, I am sorry to be all Debbie Downer on everyone but I just needed to vent. If anyone has any advice though, I am all ears. Thanks for listening.

At 5'2" and 204 pounds, your BMI is not 27, it's 37.3  Under some insurance programs, this will qualify you for surgery.  Especially if you have diabetes.  If not, a BMI of 40 will qualify you with a co-morbidity.  Most folks find that they have sleep apnea when their BMI approaches 40, as it is difficult to breathe when we lie down.   You feelings are ones we have all had.  No one approaches this surgery lightly.  Don't feel like a freak.  So many of us are overweight now -- with all the modern conveniences and no longer needing to hunt or gather our food, it's easy to see why.  Plus, there are so many choices in the stores that are not items our bodies were designed to eat.  Talk with your doctor.  If you can't find a healthy eating plan that will help you lose the weight and become more fit and active, ask about testing for sleep apnea and weight loss surgery.   Linda

Thank you for your response. Yes, my bmi is 37 not 27, sorry about that, it was a typo. I edited the original post to fix it. I don't have diabetes and am nearly positive I don't have sleep apnea so getting insurance to cover the surgery is not likely to happen. I guess I am just frustrated and don't really know what to do since I have been trying SO hard to lose this weight for so long. I feel sort of stuck between a rock and hard place because my doctor does not recommend surgery or any perscriptions because I am "not overweight enough" but I can't seem to lose weight and keep it off by conventional methods either.

I would like to suggest attending the support group in Portland. You don't have to have had the surgery to go. Vicki Jackovec is the Nurse practitioner that runs the group and she would be so helpful!! PM me and we can talk about it! This support group has been amazing for me! It meets the 3rd Tuesday evening of every month, here's the next one! Hope this helps ~ Tomi


Support Group (public welcome)

When	December 18, 2007 at 6:30 PM
Where	3303 SW Bond Ave Portland, OR Click here for map
Directions	Center for Health and Healing, 3rd floor conference room
Contact Phone	503-494-4373
Contact Person	Vicki Jakovec
Contact Email	[email protected]

December was so 2 months ago!

It's just the time, place, and contact info.  Above that, she does say they meet the third Tuesday of every month. Linda

Your feelings are very valid.  No need to apologize for expressing them here.  We have all felt some of those things.  It can feel simply impossible that it is really going to be different.  It can seem like there is no way you can really make the changes happen, because you have tried so hard so many times already.  You are blessed with youth (22 is a kid in my book) and are much further along the path of awareness than I ever was at your age.  You are on the right track.  Don't let doctors or insurance companies be the ones to discourage you from making this happen.  With how much you already know you can take that knowledge and keep plugging away.  Every little bit counts as a step.  All of us that are "on the other side" did by chipping away at the obstacles.  Family and loved ones can sometime not be helpful, or may surprise you in the end by helping you make it happen.  You will have to be the judge of who and what works.  The money, lack of insurance, lack of progress, etc. can all make it seem IMPOSSIBLE but just know you are already on your way, because you seem to want to change.  It was such a waste of energy and heart to be so hard on myself back when I was obese.  I know it isn't easy, but try to realize how much you've got going for yourself.  Your struggle with weight is shared by millions of us - you're not alone or some kind of freak for having that struggle.  Keep reaching out to us because we really do understand and are rooting for you. Patty