3 months now

Well it's been 3 months now and I have lost 45 lbs. at first I didn't feel much of a change in my body. I was eating so much less and it was hard to be patient with my body to drop the inches. I started in a 30 32 shirts and a 24 pants if they were stretchy. Well to be honest everything had to be stretchy. I went shopping last week. And I bought a pair of 22 Capri. Yes they are stretchy but I bet I could have gotten a 20. I still don't like how shirts are fitting. My stomach although it's getting smaller still seems to stick out to much. When I try on shirts that are fitted I feel gross. My daughter says it will just take time to get used to wearing fitted clothes again. Maybe that is true but I don't like anything that has to stretch over my stomach and butt or shirts that don't hang low enough to cover my stomach. So I am still wearing my bigger shirts. I have had to put a few of my clothes to bed as they are to big around the neck and the stretchy pants I just sewed in the side seams and the inside of the legs to get a few more months out of them. Finally people are starting to notice. And I can see it to. Eating is going very well. I am eating small meals. They seem to be around ½ cup to a cup but I can not remember the last time I cleaned a plate which is good because I just can't seem to get used to putting small enough portions on my plate. I have the best of intentions and by the time I sit down I can't believe how much I have on my plate. The dogs love me I always have food left on my plate. I think the thing that I still struggle with is the desire for sugar. Not much but I do still think about it a lot. I have found that I can tolerate some sugar and chocolate. I rarely feel sick after eating anything but have found it easy to not over eat at a meal. I do find that I graze more now especially after work and into the evening. Boredom is not my friend. I find I want to stay as busy as possible. I am surprised how it has affected my relationship with my husband. He seems to be happy for me and is very supportive maybe to supportive on some days asking me about everything I eat. But now that I have more energy I find my self frustrated with his lack of energy. Before we were more evenly matched I think, its funny but I felt I was keeping him down and now it feels the opposite. I want to get up on the weekend and work on the house or the yard. He is sitting in front of the TV just like we used to do. Even though I know I don't really have the right to be frustrated with him I find myself that way. I get out and do by myself and by the middle of the day I feel angry that I am doing so much and him so little. The funny thing is he has not changed. He has never been a busy bee. I always was before the extra pounds. I keep reminding myself that I am the one that has changed not him. It's really not his fault. Now that it is easier for me to eat healthy I worry about how much fast food he and the kids eat and portions are soooo huge. Yet there I was just a few months ago doing some of the same things. I have been making Al lunch every day as I have to plan and prepare for my self it is easy to include him.

I am very happy for you. It is inspiring to see how weight loss has changed your desire to be more physically active. I am having my surgery on June 4th, and am both excited and nervous. My husband and me sound alot like you two. I never thought of how it might be if I become more active and ambitious and he doesnt! He has been trying to lose weight with me but has only lost 3lbs. to my 61. I wish I had a pearl of wisdom for you! That must be frustrating. But I want to say CONGRATULATIONS on the weight loss you are doing great! Take care, Carrie

Carrie, Congratulations on your date! just take things one day at a time. I bet you are very excited.

Yeah Kelly! I know what you mean about not wanting the fitted clothes. I have managed to lose 25 pounds (pre-op) and am now in an 18 in most things,. I think I'll wait until I'm the size I want to be before I worry about fancy things. I'll just keep hiding my tummy till I'm the size I want to be. My nutritionist suggested getting those small ziplock containers to put my food portions in or using the small salad plates for my meals. You can fill one of those plates and probably still have more than you need to eat. I noticed that when Fred was here, he always thought he could eat more than he was capable of. He'd put a lot on his plate and not be able to eat even half of it. Good for you in realizing that it's you who has changed and not your husband. Maybe little by little you can get him involved in the things you're doing. Try not making it all about work around the house -- that can lead to resentment. How 'bout if you see if he just wants to go for a walk around the neighborhood some fine morning? Try some fun stuff to get him off the couch. That may help. Blessings to you. I'm so glad you're doing well! Linda

Great job Kelly!!! I am right behind you as far as surgery date...it is so great to hear that you are doing so well. Its so funny because I too notice how much sitting around EVERYONE in my family sits around. I just want to go go go!

Hey Kelley, Sorry I havent' written or called, but I have been in and out of the hospital over the last 1 1/2 months. First for vomiting and dehydration, stayed 4 days and then on May 2 Dr. Jan went in and stretched my esophagus again and he accidentally perforated my stomach and I had a huge leak, so I just spent 15 days back in the hospital. I have been home for 5 days and things are finally starting to mellow out for me. I have lost 72 lbs and I have no energy and still fight not to vomit after drinking or eating. This surgery has been hard for me. I also apologize for missing the breakfast a few weeks ago, but both kids were sick and I didn't feel good about leaving them home. I am still in shock that I am down to 186 lbs, when I look in the mirror I am not sure who is looking back at me. I just want my energy level to increase and to be able to eat more than three bites without vomiting. I am back at the frustrated stage, but it too shall pass, I hope. I would love to try to get together with you all again, I could really use the support, I am struggling emotionally and it is hard on me. I am off work for at least another ten days, so if you get a chance call me. Talk to you soon Lisa

Oh my gosh Lisa I am so sorry to hear of all the trouble you are still having. You sould have called me. don't sweat breakfast there will be others. I will give you a call this week. I have so busy at work latley that i just never seem to have a moment to sit down and have a conversation on the phone. By the time I get home make dinner spend a little time outside doing chores while we have a little dry weather and then come in and clean up after dinner I just calapse. But I promise to make time to call. So are you still ok with Dr Jan. I am sorry to hear about the perferation that must have been really scarry. so what is the long term prognosis for you?

Hey Kelley, Yes I am fine with Dr. Jan, it has just been very rough on me. My prognosis is good they fixed the leak and basically I was back at square one with liquids for a week and now I am eating soft foods and working towards regular foods. I can only eat about 3-4 bites though and I am full and If I take one extra bite I vomit immediately, so that is very frustrating. I think I am a little depressed as well. I never imagined this would happen to me. I am constantly nauseated and nothing tastes right to me either. Dr. Jan took very good care of me, but I was a bad patient for a few days and I feel bad that he had to deal with my nasty attitude. The pain medications do that to me sometimes and in the hospital I was going stir crazy on top of everything else. It is good to be home. Look forward to talking with you soon Lisa

Lisa, I am so sorry to hear that you have had these problems. Things should only get better from here on out. It must have been awful for a nurse to be on the other side of the patient/nurse equation for so long! Only another nurse can say that! I bet they took good care of you though. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing. Julia

Hi Kelly, I am SO on the same page! Now that I have the energy to be active all day and tackle house projects, it's annoying to see my boyfriend sitting around and napping all day. I too have to keep fighting the urge to complain, because before I had the surgery I didn't feel like doing anything, either. We go to couples' counselling twice a month to help ourselves through this whole process, and it's been very enlightening. On Friday I expressed my fear that I would get fit and healthy and he wouldn't, which he actually saw as an ultimatum. He is probably going through just as many emotions as I am, as he watches me going through big changes in appearance, health, and activity level on a daily basis. I am trying to be compassionate and understanding, because without surgery I would still be in the same boat. Before surgery, I didn't really consider how much it would impact my loved ones. This sure is a learning process! Take care, Lisa