s.o.s.

Hello, I haven't posted on here in months, but I am in serious need of words of encouragement, advice, etc. I had surgery in May and have lost a total of 75 pounds. My weight loss just doesn't seem as quick or as much as others, but Dr. Hong and Kelly both keep telling me I'm doing just fine and to stop comparing myself to others. Well, here is my dilemma. I have been at a plateau since November! At first it wasn't a big deal to me because I really don't pay a whole lot of attention to the scale (I don't even own one, I only check in at the doctor's office when I'm there). But now, I'm feeling a little panicky about it. I have so much history with diet failure, and while I logically know that I'm not dieting, this is a complete biological change, I fear that I will be the failure and that this plateau is the start. So, I'm battling with my logical and emotional sides here. But more so, I want to know if any of you out there have struggled with such a long plateau and how you handled it. I can tell you that Kelly said at my last appt. with her that my diet was good, my caloric intake was where it needed to be, and I do go to weight lifting and volleyball classes twice a week at Chemeketa. Her only suggestion was maybe adding a little more cardio, so I'm doing that--I've joined the gym (courthouse) and will start tomorrow. Anything else? I guess I don't expect a lot of suggestions that I haven't already heard, but would really just like some words of encouragement especially from anyone who has "been there done that." The other thing that adds to all of this is this idea I have that once I hit my year annivesary, the weight loss is over and if I want to lose anymore it will be a whole lot harder. I don't know where that idea came from but I have had it in my mind since the day of surgery and I'm sure that's what is causing my panic right now because I am only 3 months from my year anniversary. Are there any of you who still continued to really lose after the year mark? Thanks for any comments. It is so nice to know that there are people out there that can relate.

Michelle - I am a slow loser, so here I am to tell you that you are not alone, for one. I won't sugar coat it though either. First, let's look at your BMI. To reach normal (not overweight) BMI, you would need to get to 145. You had close to 120 lbs to lose. So you have lost 75 lbs and have 45 lbs left to go. You have lost 62.5% of the weight you need to lose in 9 months. At 9 months I had lost 102 lbs of the 165 I needed to lose to get to a normal bmi. That is 61.8% of my weight loss. I was still over 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary. I won't fool you - if I gave up and started eating whatever I wanted and didn't put out a minimal effort, I wouldn't have continued to lose weight. It wasn't without total effort, but it was certainly a lot easier than dieting in years gone by. One thing I will tell you to do is to invest in a GOOD scale. Weighing every day some people say is neurotic, but I disagree. I read a study recently that showed the folks who were successful at losing and KEEPING THE WEIGHT OFF were those who weighed themselves every day. Now you can look at this and say it is obsessive, but then you can also use it as a tool to see what is making you gain and lose. You will see that you do gain and lose in a week. You can fluctuate probably up to 5-7 lbs (as I do) depending on the time of the month, what you ate, etc. But once you get the feel of that, you will better understand the ebb and flow of your weight, what causes you to stall, what causes you to gain and what helps you lose. I try to remember to weigh every day. When I don't, I start to gain. Simple as that. I am 3 years out and I am still losing weight slowly. I just hit 175 and am 15 lbs away from my goal of 160. Actually to be "normal" bmi, I have to be 159, but I'll get there eventually. I am not forgetting though that I also have about 8-10 lbs of skin on me, so when that gets taken off it will change that reading as well. Please look at my profile and at the bottom you will see my weight chart. You will see months and months where nothing changed. Then suddenly you will see a drop. Those are times that I took advantage of not feeling hungry. Times I took advantage of not feeling well. Are there times I don't eat? YOU BETCHA! I take advantage of that. I don't condone starving, but I do condone taking advantage of not being hungry and letting your pouch shrink back a little bit. This tool I have to keep in shape so to speak, so when I have a day where nothing interests me, I don't pu**** I let it go. And when I get hungry, I eat again. Usually I will find after a day of not eating much that my pouch has shrunk back a bit and I can't eat as much as I had been able to. So keep it up - you will get there. If you don't pay attention to those who say your honeymoon is ending, it won't knock you off course. Yeah, it's not going to be completely effortless, but it is still easier than before and you will be fine. The other thing to remember: I found that for me and some friends I've spoken to that there seems to be a memory set-point that our bodies cling to. Weights where I spent a lot of time in the past being are ones that my body wanted to settle into on my way down. So I stalled and it got to where I could predict when I would stall. Think back and see if the weight you are now is a weight you were at for a period of time before. It might just take awhile for your body to get out of that comfort zone... Good luck - Dina (3 years out on the 10th!)

Oh yeah - one other thing: I have found being a slow loser an advantage. Why? Because I never reached my goal I am not gaining back as many people 3 years out are. I am still finding myself on the way down a little here and there while others are passing me up going the other direction. So it has forced me to be more careful over the years and I think (hope) that I have developed habits in this time that will help enable me to be a long time success instead of seesawing back as some who lost quicker did. Yeah, it's easier if you can lose it all quickly, but it also doesn't force you to keep looking at your intake and in that way, I never gave up. I'll be damned if I'm going to have someone tell me that I'm going to only get to 202 lbs and that I won't see my goal!!! Dina

Thanks! It's that kind of encouragement and knowledge that I need. I think you're right, I will go buy a scale. And, you know, I remember being at this weight before I ever got pregnant with my first child and actually, this is the weight that I was at since probably my freshman year of high school all the way until after my 2nd pregnancy. So my body probably is thinking this is normal for me. I haven't been at "normal" of 145 to 155 since I was in junior high! Thank you for reminding me, that really helps me to put things into perspective. And, I like that you pointed out the advantage to being a slow loser and I think you are exactly right. I am very aware of what I eat and how much I am eating because I am still working toward goal. I'm sure if I reached goal earlier on, I would not have the full understanding of how important changing your eating habits and being consciensous of my eating habits is, as I do now because of my slow loss. Thank you so much...you really have given me a positive boost in my attitude and feelings!

Michelle - I am very glad it helped. I know when I was going through this it seemed like there was a shortage of people in my shoes. I think many do tend to lose quicker, but I also think the slower losers don't want to talk about it because they feel too much like a failure. And that can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I didn't want to end up like that. It helps to lay it out in a logical manner, figure out percentages and look at all the factors involved. And although we still have to watch what we eat, it IS easier than pre-surgery, and so we have to remind ourselves of that. I can get full on veggies now whereas I couldn't before. I might still crave protein though, and that is important. But if I am craving goodies, I can tank up on low-cal things and have a treat to top it off if I need to. I am by no means a saint, but I have learned how to watch the scale to help keep me in check. Good luck to you and I hope you see that scale move soon!!! Dina

Hi Michelle, We met at the Salem group, so it's nice to see you here. I am so sorry I don't have any great advice for you, since I'm still pre-op. I can only imagine how frustrated you must feel. But I just wanted to let you know that I think you are doing a great job. I'm really inspired by the way you've kept to eating well and staying active. And the fact that you're at the weight you were at in high school is a real achievement (wow)! Something I have learned in life is that it seems like when things get real rough, something, somewhere, changes to make it better. You know "It's always darkest before the dawn." I know you'll get through this. I'll be thinking of you, and best wishes!

Hi! You know Dina helped me sooo much with her reply, so I feel much better about things now. I went to the gym this morning and did the "Group Ride" which is basically a spinning class and it was great! I know that if I was still packing around the 264 pounds that I was there would be no way I would have lasted in that class and probably would not have ever gone back (actually, I guess that is what happened as I did try spinning before surgery--once and never went back). But today was GREAT! I had a ton of energy afterwards and look forward to the next class on Wednesday! So how are you doing? Do you know how Christie is doing, didn't she go in for surgery last week or was it today? I remember it was sometime around the first of March. I won't be at the Salem group this month because the Portland group is the same night. Actually, it was last month too only I didn't read my schedule I just assumed it was regular schedule (4th Wednesday of the month), but last month and this month are the third Wednesday--that's why Sheri, Luella, and Richard weren't there last month. Anyway, I hope things are going well and thanks for sending me a response. It's nice to hear from familiar faces.

Hi Michelle, GREAT job with the spinning class. That is wonderful! It must have been exciting to do something physical that you couldn't do before. Christina's schedule is tomorrow, March 7th!! I'll see you in April then - that will be AFTER my surgery (scheduled for April 3). Woohoo!! Sally

Michelle, I am SOOOOOO excited for you that you went to Group Ride! I LOVE THAT CLASS! I go twice a week and I just get so pumped every time I go. I'm so proud of you! Isn't it amazing how far we've come? Keep it up! You're doing great! Deanna