My First Post on this board

Hello everyone! I have been visiting this web-site for several weeks now. I have enjoyed reading many posts and reading different WLS stories. This support group is Amazing. I live in Lebanon Oregon. I am trying to get my surgery approval, I have already met with the NP and Dietician at OHSU, where I plan on having my surgery. The surgeon that they reccomended is Dr. Wolfe. He is new to the area, coming from U.C. Davis in Ca. I am nervous about having the surgery, but know I need to do it for so many reasons. I am Super Obese or whatever they call someone with a BMI over 60. I need to lose 20-25lbs pre-op. I have been having a hard time sticking to a diet though. I keep trying. I am trying to make positive changes. One step at a time. My biggest obstacle is that I have gained some extra weight in the last year that put me over the 400 lb mark. Before that I was in the 300's for several years. I recently was diagnosed with RA(Rheumatoid Arthritis) which has been very hard on me. My mobility has been severely limited, with the joint pain, then the weight gain from lack of movement. Medication is helping, but now the extra weight has made it so hard to move. This last weekend was such a low for me. My family went on a short trip to the coast for a few days. I need a wheel chair now to get around, I can only walk for a short time @ 5 mins. then I need to sit down from the pain, and the amount of wight I am carrying. Well needless to say I sort of got left in the dust. My family didn't want to bother pushing me around in the wheel chair so I spent all but 2 hours in the room. When I did get out they didn't want to help me it was very humiliating. When we left to come home my husband packed the wheel chair in the car in such a way that it couldn't be gotten out with out unpacking several other things. I couldn't visit some of the traditional places I like to go to with my kids on the way home, or go window shopping or anything. I felt trapped. I was angry, and felt abused. He didn't even think about me at all. I didn't know he had done this until I wanted to get out and visit one of my favorite stores on the way home, then he told me he couldn't get the wheel chair out. I can't express how hurt I felt. I feel like I am rambling now but I know some of you out there can relate to how I feel, maybe at some point in your life you felt this hurt. I need to get back my life, I want to be able to walk, and move around again. This is sooo painful I want to cry.So what I guess I am trying to say is I need this surgery now more than ever, to hopefully get some kind of a life back. I am only 44 years old, I can't imagine living like this for years to come........ Thanks for reading this I appreciate your thoughts etc. Christina

your right! Their treatment was abusive and passive agressive. It tells me that there is some anger towards your situation. perhaps having some family counseling would help. in regards to you having to be on the diet. What are your doc's having you do? most surgeons do this to reduce the fat in and around the liver to aid in surgery. also they do it to see if you can keep to the program. To see if you will be compliant after surgery. you have mobility issues. join your local gym (ymca) and start doing water aerobics. I know many pools offer help with your situation. Exercise is crucial while using this WLS tool. chin up.

Christina, I can relate to your feelings so much! I think family trips can really make you aware of how really bad things have gotten. In our every day life we have usually figured out a way to get by and live our lives as best we can with our physical limitations. For me that was both from a physical standpoint and an emotional one. It's not that I wasn't aware of how dire things were, but that old and lousy friend denial would make it so that I was getting by. Over time I knew all the right places to grab onto going up a stair or had my right chair or comfy robe that didn't make it feel so obvious that I was super morbidly obese. Put me in a motel with a hard bed and knowing I was going to have to come up with an outfit to go to a function or accommodate the weather out of town, and suddenly I was feeling overwhelmed by how messed up I was!! My husband was always so kind and supportive, but towards the end I would have to really spell it out sometimes, because I don't think it would occur to most people not at our weight how truly unable we are to do certain things that those around us can take for granted. It sounds like your husband and family could have done better this weekend. Now that I am a normal weight, I do look back and realize how hard to was for our whole family. Being so much more healthy is the ultimate reward for the weight loss, but the difficulty and the physical and emotional pain of the weight, is the daily burden that hurts as much as worrying about not living to see your kids grow up! You are still so young! I am forty four right now. When I was forty, I felt like I was about seventy. I had lost any hope I would ever feel young, but I do again. Keep working on getting your surgery date. A year from now you would be amazed at how different things can be. Patty