got a letter from the clinic today

well I got a letter in the mail today from the clinic saying I have no coverage for the surgery, I have cigna and I thought it would be at least considered, my heart is in my feet, fighting back tears, I went camping with the family this weekend and I realised more than ever that this weight is killing me,,, I just cant do anything,,, walking hurts, packing the gear is so hard becouse i cant bend and breath at the same time if i get down on the ground its soooo hard to get back up,, I feel like the most disgusting person in the world today,, then got home and got the letter in the mail,,, my heart is broken and i feel like a baby sitting here crying,, guess i got my self here it pretty much my own fault, I just dont see any hope, feel like my life is over, and I know I am being a big baby ,,, I had to say behind when my kids were out having a great time, I dont want this,, at 300+ i just dont know if I can loose enough to make a difference on my own. help

Kelly, Take a deep breath and relax. I know where you are coming from because ins didn't pay for mine either. Yes I was over 300 lbs too and I soooooo remember EVERYTHING you are describing. So, lets see if we can figure out a different way for you to have the surgery. First off, do you own your home or do you rent? If you own then you may have enough equity in your home for either a line of credit or a second mortgage. If not that way then way #2 is...do you have a 401K that you can borrow against? #3 Capital One makes medical loans #4 Do you own a car free and clear or one that has equity? You could refinance your car or get a loan on one that is free and clear. #5. Consider lap band surgery. It is much less money than the RNY. (About 12-15K) Finally, you may want to think about the possibility of switching insurance companies if that is available through work. If not then how about switching jobs? I know that sounds drastic, but I know of many who have done so so that they have the necessary coverage. Many of the things we desire the most we must work for the hardest. This may be one of those things. Good luck and {{{many}}} hugs. Trisha

Kelly - I was in the same position - insurance that didn't pay. We had recently moved and had a little equity money left over and a friend cued me into Dr. Aguirre in Ensenada, Mexico. Mexico is so much cheaper than the US and I have to say that after I had my surgery, I didn't know why I didn't go into debt to do it. I don't know why I didn't sell my van to do it. I don't know why I didn't sell my house and live in an apartment to do it. It has been the single most important thing I could have ever done for myself and my family....no matter the cost. I know we all have reasons why we don't feel we can pay out of pocket. True, some people have nothing to draw on - be it equity in a home, a car to sell or retirement to draw off of. However, if you have *any* of those things available to you, you will not regret it. Why? Because you can make that money back, but you won't make back this time that you could actually be feeling like a million bucks. My husband brought it into light for me when we were trying to figure out how to remodel our house. We were going to have a Master Suite remodeled into our house and all the while I was talking about "when I lose weight...." Everything in my life was "when I lose weight." He got a funny look on his face and I forced him to tell me what he was thinking. He said: "Well, I was just wondering. Would you be happier in a new master suite and be the weight you are now, or would you rather stay in our tiny bedroom and have the surgery so you can lose the weight?" That completely brought it into focus. Hands down, no question, I'd be happier to lose the weight and not even own my home than I would to stay this way forever. I battled it my whole life - this was the only answer for me. Money you can make back. Homes you can buy again. Life you can't get back. As I write this, my insurance now pays for the surgery. It took 2 years after I had my surgery for our insurance to start paying. Would I have changed anything? Not on your life! Those 2 years of living life lighter are worth triple what I paid. Dina