Orientation, Invisibility and Isolation in Guelph!

Hey Dee321! ;-)

A girl thing??? hahahaha! I work with a LOT of women... so I guess some of their intuition rubbed off on me!

Tell me something... if it were simply an information session.. then why did people have to be there? Couldn't information be given as an online course... or skyped etc? When people are involved... it has to be a human thing... a collaborative thing... at least if it's going to be successful! Agree or disagree???

Sizing up the room....why do we do that??? It seems to be counter-intuitive when you think about it? We don't want to be judged by our size... yet it feels like we do it to ourselves all the time! I have to do some self evaluation! ;-D

Guy 57

Hi Guy,

Since I haven't been to my orientation yet, I am only guessing - but perhaps the physical act of being there helps to affirm one's commitment to the program and the process itself. It is possible that they feel that doing something online would be way too anonymous and patients would be less inclined to follow through on anything else after that. By having to physically be somewhere in a room with health professionals, you are taking ownership of your care and making actual changes to improve your quality of life. Perhaps they recognize that. On the other hand, it is quite possible that they aren't as tech savvy as the rest of us, and haven't bothered to upload an online program at this point. It's hard to say!

I'm not entirely sure why we size up a room like that either. Maybe it's more of a pre-programmed human behaviour - survival of the fittest (quite literally in this case). We inherently don't want to be the worse case scenario - it's a threat of some sort. My sisters do it to me at every holiday gathering, and so overtly - it drives me crazy. Nobody wants to be the fattest at the function. Haha.

Thanks for the great conversation starters on the board. It's great to get some male perspective on the process as well.

D.

I think sizing up the room is likely normal for everyone. I know I really knew I was losing weight when i was standing next to someone I work with at the bathroom mirror. I was shocked to see I was smaller than her, because in my head she was tiny, and certainly smaller than me. That is when i had an awareness that I even did the sizing up. frankly at a size 2/4 and 11 months post op I'm still surprised to see my size next to other people.

When I was larger I had body dysmorphia. When I looked in the mirror I saw myself smaller than I was, I was always shocked by how large I was in photos. Now that I am smaller, it has flipped. I'm seeing myself larger in the mirror and smaller in the photos.

Hey Guy....

Over research.. over think.. lol..that's me... I prepare to the max for everything... I think that's the eternal student in me- welcome to the club ;)

Te: orientation:

was nervous... I felt alone... everyone brought someone.. then I met a sweet person..a bubbly little go getter who made me feel better.. such energy... Then I saw the movie and couldn't stop crying. The happiness in their faces was so wonderful! I felt like .. there is hope... that bubbly go getter was.. OAAT... by the way!

I know this is like not the popular opinion but I think the waiting and the classes etc. helps people adjust, investigate and prepare.

I was happy to meet you that day, Jo!!!

It was such an isolating process. No interaction. Information just dryly regurgitated out at us.

The animated professional trainer in me fought to shut up... there really has to be a better way. Alas, it is was it is. Not my monkey.

You really made an impact girl.. I felt like I wasn't alone so thank you;)

Hey jobear27! ;-)

I have never been in a situation where over-researching has let me down.... so I am more than happy to be in your exalted club! hahahaha!!!

Interesting observation about the waiting and the classes. I am waaaaaay too new to be able to agree or disagree on that one. I do know that personally.... my knees and I are waaaaay past ready to get on with the surgery!

GUY 57

ps.... kudos to YOU and OAAT for being able to show a positive way of approaching orientation days! ;-)

You know I took a bit of a break to deal with an issue..not weight related... and I will be back soon but seriously this is the first time Guy57 that my over research may not be a good thing. There are so many different opinions from surgeons and "specialists" about bariatrics and of course --- die hard NO carbers...I am just going to do whatever TWH tells me and close my eyes.

I have learned a few things along the way about why I need to do this... how I can stay healthy and why I failed before ... which have and will be beneficial to me in the long run. This surgery is NOT a walk in the park--- not the easy way out and will need vigilance.

I have read some snarky comments from a few about how they interpret life after and if there is anything I can offer the newbies --- here it is: this is serious surgery- be sure- be 100% committed. Then listen to your centre ... follow the rules --- don't be brave and don't lie. You have to partner with them or this will not work. Prepare prepare prepare.... binging until you have the operation will be an awful surprise to your body... try to live a healthy pre - op life ----your body will thank you!

Jobear

You raise some excellent points and questions.

Personally, while dry, I think the information is important. I don't think enough people would commit to watching the video on their own, or paying attention. If it's mandatory (as it should be for something so life altering), this really is the best way to manage it. It's just unfortunate the information is out there so people who do that research get there and have seen that exact video.

About not having interaction with each other/ I think that's entirely the fault of the programs and the lack of facilitation design; not about people choosing to be invisible. I would caution against stereotyping that just because we're large, we want to be invisible. I am a trainer, a coach, a public speaker, I've been on tv more than once. I have no problem being visible. In fact, quite the opposite; bring it on! There were some other "big personalities" in my orientation group as well, who did not seem to want to be invisible either.

I would have loved to have the opportunity to get to know people at my orientation. I met Jobear and that was great!! But the environment was not conducive to building relationships.

I have my one month post op group session coming up at the end of the month, and I was already wondering if it will be a little more "participant centric" and if people will want to chat with each other. I guess we'll see!

Hello bubbly OAAT! ;-)

I'm leaning towards respectfully disagreeing with you on the information part of the orientation. There is no guarantee that the people in the room payed attention or retained any of the information given. In fact, I would hazard a guess that most of the people in the room were listening intently to the words.... "Your surgery will likely be in __ months!" Then again... it could be that I am self absorbed in my own perception and transferring it to others... since I talked to no one!

It is always important to remember not to stereotype people... so thank you for reminding me to guard against it. Perhaps if I had been in the session with you guys... I may have postulated a different theory! ;-)

With such a bubbly larger than life personality... I wonder if they could benefit from some of YOUR insights when it comes to conducting the session in a more interactive way. Could be an interesting new career path!

Thanks again,

Guy 57