Need some mental health support... (long post)

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I do offer you words of encouragement and my sympathy for all you are going through. My observation is that you are intelligent and very self-aware so seeking medical assistance seems to be a plan of action. I sincerely wish you well and hope you can see the success you have achieved.

Your centre should have a psychologist or psychiatrist on staff or the ability to refer you to one. As well look into any local eating disorder programs. You need treatment

This is very serious and you need to seek help immediately. This could lead to hospitalization and serious health issues. I know of another person who struggled with what you are and is very sick. With your height 150lbs is probably too light. Your body knows what weight is good for it and will be easier to maintain when it's reasonable. Your body and mind need food to fuel it. Please call your clinic and ask to speak to someone. I truly wish you all the best in your journey and hope you get the help you need sooner rather than later.

Hi,

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. You said your psychologist diagnosed you with an eating disorder; that's a good first step, but has he or she also started you on a treatment plan? I hope so, and if not, please ask for one.

You sound very intelligent and self aware and you recognise there is a problem, so that's great.

Food isn't the enemy; it's just fuel to nourish us and sustain us. It's our behaviours toward food that cause problems, as you know.

I hope you can learn to trust yourself that you can eat healthy and not regain it all. I hope your psychologist will help you with this. I really feel for you. Hugs.

I appreciate the courage and honesty in your post, and I really do feel for you.

If you do not have regular visits with a Psychologist/therapist or Psychiatrist, I highly recommend that you seek more help. See you family doctor for options or talk your center. I have dealt with depression (off an on), and OCD/anxiety, for over a decade, and I know the importance of seeking help. I don't know if I could function today if I did not seek help years ago. My OCD is something I deal with everyday, but its managable.

So please, seek help! It can get better, and I do not wish you to consider self harm as an alternative.

I had the same surgery as you, and same weight goal (I'm just past 3 months post op). I have lost 84 lbs overall, 68 lbs since opti. I too, have problems seeing any change in my body. I still see the 348 lbs version of me, even though I know I've lost weight. I think for some of us that is completely normal. I have no idea what my body will look like as I get closer to goal, I'm sure the sagging skin will not be that attractive looking, but remember where you came from. Your healthier physically, than you were at your highest weight. So be proud of what you have lost so far!

I've read and seen stories of once people get close to their goal weight, weight loss is harder, as I think it is for anyone. Your not going to lose as fast as you did in the beginning, so try (I know its hard) not to get too frustrated with a slower weight loss, and try not to weigh yourself multiple times a day. Try and do it once a week if you can, the scale can make or break your day sometimes, so why do it on a daily basis.

I understand that you are struggling with alot. As someone who is only 3 months out, I can identify with some of your struggles, and I want to say you are not alone. As for the more extreme issues you are dealing with in regards to your eating habits and behavious please as I've said a few times already in this post, please seek help. The fact that you are aware you have a problem is a good start, take the next step. You'll be glad you did.

Good luck and please take care!

This breaks my heart, this tool is to give you your life back, but if you continue on this path it will be the complete opposite.

You sound like you have recognized this is a problem (which is a very good step in the right direction). I hope you know that the problem is very serious and you need to take action now before it is all consuming.

I hope you can get on the path to treatment and having a healthy relationship with food and your body.

My wife suffers terribly from an eating disorder, they labelled it Bulemia Nervosa. She too struggles with every mouthful, with being unable to think of anything else. She restricts and will even exercise in very un-sustainable ways.

She was fortunate enough to have had a 6 wk stay in the Ottawa General Hospital's Eating Disorder program (within the in-patient mental health unit). They helped her by 'symptom interruption'. She's been home now about a month and is struggling to eat, struggling to get over her desire to restrict. It is and will be a very long battle.

Fortunately for both of you there is help available. The trick for my girl was to 'challenge' herself - with those things that made her uncomfortable. Sometimes that was food other times it was self-image. She discovered through the self-image challenge that she loves to be a woman. She'd never EVER owned a pair of high heeled shoes - she loves them. She is wearing girly dresses and skirts and has discovered the message she was raised with (about being a girl) were bull****

I don't know if you live with anyone who might be able to support you, she finds it helpful to remind her of meal times and to have a balance in her food (she's not had surgery).

All I want to say is you are not alone. One's mind can be a pleasure sucking monster of misinformation and F.alse E.vidence A.ppearing R.eal (FEAR)

I am very happy for your success and your willingness to talk openly about a challenge others might be having too. You may not find practical Eating Disorder support here, but you will find plenty of general support.