Should I postpone or not??? ANY advice WELCOME!! **UPDATE***

Tracey! thanks!

i didn't think to compare it to my previous surgeries. which have been numerous. other than my wisdom teeth i came out of all of those mostly trouble free. a couple of pains in the throat from rough tube insertion but i spoke to the anesthesiologist about that and she said that because they put a camera down as well as the breathing tube they lube it all up. so yeah. no my wisdom teeth were painful (excruciatingly actually, but that went away rather quickly) but all other surgeries were stress free. that is actually a load off my mind.

Thank you so much!

I am so sorry about your Dad; my thoughts and prayers are with you.

A lot of people are just fine after surgery. I personally was not one of them. I had crazy levels of pain, mainly because I could not take my full dose of painkillers so it was never fully managed. On a scale of 1 to 10, my pain was about a 12 for the first week, and a 10 for the second week. My ex sister in law took care of me for 5 days after surgery while I was in Toronto, and she was a Godsend, as it hurt to move at all.

If you have other supports in place, besides your Mom, that should help a lot. Chances are you'll be like the majority of the people here and have an easy recovery.

Being a passenger in a car won't be a problem, but bring a pillow to hold against your incisions; it really helps.

Oh Kathy thank you for your warm thougths and prayers

i am glad you posted about your experience it helped me get a good pros and cons list. i want to know all the details.

pillow :check!

thanks

I am sorry to hear about your dad. What a heartbreaking and stressful situation. As far as recovery is concerned, I had an easy textbook recovery. My husband worked from home for a few days, but I really didn't need him for anything other than peace of mind. Physically, I was sore, but nothing crazy. I slept sitting up for the first few days, then I progressed to sleeping in bed, but using pillows to keep me from rolling or moving around too much. I didn't need help bathing or going to the bathroom. After the second day, my only pain medication was Tylenol. Being in a car was fine for me. But, I was really low energy. Most of my time was spent either walking or napping. The first few weeks I would tire easily. Being at a hospital bedside during that time would have been exhausting, but doable. There really isnt much you can do for your parents except be there with them and comfort them, which i think i could have done post op, at least physically.

Everyone recovers differently, and while most people recover easily, you shouldn't plan for a best case scenario. Personally, if you plan to go ahead with surgery, i would see if you can find someone else to be with you those first few days, as a safety net. and that they can get you to and from the hospital, so it's not something your mom has to think about.

Having said all that. Some people have a big emotional response to surgery. Having your insides rearranged, and choosing major surgery is a big deal. And the lifestyle changes you agreed to in the abstract become reality, real quick after surgery. That can be overwhelming to some. Combine that with the stress of a sick parent, is a lot to take on mentally and emotionally.

Good luck.

Thank you Insert Fitness!

that was so insightful and such an honest and well thought out response. i will be sure to take in all your points. it would be lax of me to rely on a best case scenario. i have actually just got off the phone with my in-laws who would be willing to take me in if my mom couldn't handle it, of course concurrently my mother has told me she will take it as a great personal insult if i do not come to her house. as she has spent all the time with me planning and meal planning and shopping and just generally being all about the support. she has gone from being freaked out about the surgery to being super excited. (let that be a lesson to me for assuming first opinions are the ONLY opinions) are you kidding i got all sorts of kitchen ware for christmas. scales meat thermometers wisks, blenders. you name it. if it would help i got it. we had lists of everything i may need. i get a whole shelf of spices and other sundries this weekend when i go up to help her pack. it is a bit of a madhouse but i think after talking to her i think she really wants to do this.

thank you once again.

That's great. I'm glad you are moving forward with it and that your awesome mom is 100% behind you. All the best!!

Thank you Monica9811!

I'm so glad your Dad is doing better, and that your Mom is making it possible for you to go forward. Congratulations, and good luck with your surgery. Continued prayers for your Dad.

Hugs,

Kathy

Thank you Kathy!

I think the experience can vary person to person. I was up walking deliberately a lot the night of my surgery (what happens when your roommate is a snorer). i asked to be discharged the next day (they wouldn't). I was driven from Montreal to Toronto (home) by my mother on day 2 post op. By then I was off pain killers. I was slow and tired for the remainder of the week (but most of this is calorie deprivation) on day 4 i went grocery shopping with my mom. on day 5 i went to chudley's apple picking (took lots of rest breaks) and then cooked thanksgiving dinner for the family.

again everyone is different. I chalk my easy recovery up to being up and about so much early on and being able to get rid of the gas so quickly (I found the gas to be the biggest source of pain post op).