issues with keeping it private?

Hello,

I was wondering if anyone post-op has chosen to keep this surgery private? and if they have had any issues with doing so?

I am still pre-op (waiting to meet the surgeon) and my husband and I both feel that keeping my decision to go forward with this surgery a private matter is what works best in our situation. Just wondering if others have done the same and what problems they have faced because of it. Also, tips on handle day-to-day situations without broadcasting this decision.

thanks

Hi there, congrats on your upcoming surgery! I think there's quite a few people who kept it private. I wasn't one of them haha. I decided to be open about my decision, because I didn't want the stress of keeping my story straight, or people worried I had cancer, or asking why I eat such small portions, not drinking alcohol, caffeine,  etc. 

Also, i didn't want to be isolated, or to exclude myself from my social life in order  to not arouse suspicion.

And I'm proud of having surgery, taking charge of my health. I love when people considering surgery approach me for info.

Pre op, I only told family, and a few friends. It was presented as a done deal, not open for debate, but answered all questions. And that was only when I had a surgery date ( excluding my husband)

But I get why some people choose differently. it might be good to cross post this on the general discussion page in order to get more answers.

good luck, and congratulations again!

I didn't tell no one well only hubby my kids and one close friend.. At work people at me what I was having surgery for I told them gallbladder that worked.. people at work thought I was losing weight because I changed my diet because of gallbladder surgery.. around 6 months post op I starting having gallbladder problems was having attacks at work well I first I thought it was dumping until I talked to my surgeon he said no its gallbladder attacks I ended up in emergency at 7 months now the questions was ask I had to tell them I had stone stuck in the duck but the dr found harnia and repair it.. so I got myself out of the water with that one.. but now I work with the public my regular customers are all saying how goood I look and how did i lose the weight. I tell them I saw dietitian read labels cut out a lot stuff and also go to the gym.. I am still not planning telling people about the surgery 

This is a common question.  Personally there are only two people in my life that know.  My spouse and a close friend.  Not anyone else, not even family.

At work I just told them I needed surgery.  They can't ask why and I didn't offer.  Yes people want to know how I'm losing weight and I tell them the truth...that I've changed my diet, cut out carbs, practice portion control and exercise.  I just leave out the WLS part!

It's your story to tell or not.

I kept my RNY (9 September 2016) private.  Only 2 people know.  Nobody at work because - you know what people gossip!!!

I've been struggling with this one.  I asked someone who is 6 years out and she said that for those who appeared to be just nosy (or somewhat caring - but not a friend or family member), she said she had changed her diet.  If she was asked directly if she had WLS, she responded honestly.  Throughout this whole process I have decided not to feel shame in making this decision for me - it is not the "easy" way, it is not "cheating" and I don't have to explain my reasons to anyone.  I have told clients that I will be away from March 22nd to April 10th for some scheduled surgery.  If I'm asked directly, I won't lie.  My daughter is having Easter dinner on April 16th, so I have decided to just say I'm on liquid protein for awhile.  I don't care about the rumour mill because I'm really not that important (lol).  But it is my business to share what I want when I want.  I have a friend who has been considering this so I passed along some information, and have told her to explore this site and read my personal blog about this journey.  In the end we should do what's best for us.

Best of luck.

Linda

I am pre-surgery, but hoping to have a date soon.  I have been quite open about the entire process with my family, friends and co-workers; thankfully all have been  quite supportive.  Theree is not right or wrong answer in this case.  It all depends on who and what you choose to share.

You have to do what works best for you and hubby.  I have told only the people I trust to keep it quiet.  My son lives with me and my sister is my support system so they both know.  I told a couple of close friends that I know would never say anything, and only want the best for me, no judgement.  

When the weight starts coming off, I plan on telling people that I am eating right and moving more, which will be the truth.  

So you and your husband have to decide what is right for you, and that is what you should do. 

I have told very few, not even my immediate family.  That is a personal choice. I would tell someone you trust as you will need to talk about things sometimes, but it doesn't have to be everyone.  I will however tell complete strangers if they ask how I lost sooo much as they seem to be genuinely interested  and dont seem to pass much judgment. ( except one !!! Lol)

On the day to day, I suggest you just tell people you are eating low fat, low carb and high protein and determined to change your lifestyle and be healthy... because you are.  Anything aside from that really is none of their concern.

Good luck onyour journey !!!

Hi,

I kept my surgery a secret when I was pre-op and only told a few trusted family members and friends because I didn't want to listen to people try to talk me out of it.

After surgery I outed myself on facebook, lol, to get ahead of the gossip that is inevitable in my circle. It's not gossip if I told them first :-).

People have been super supportive and I've only had one comment that I perceived as kind of mean, but in all honesty could have been coming from simple curiosity.  I ran into an old friend who has always been super thin, never once had a weight problem, who immediately asked me about loose skin, before even asking how I was doing.  I didn't like that, but she's used to being the only thin member of the group so maybe was feeling weird that I wasn't going to be big in the future.

Some of my relatives totally pretend like nothing has happened and never comment when they see me, or even asked how I was feeling after surgery, but most are super supportive. One elderly uncle who also struggles with weight is so proud of me for doing this he wants to give me a hundred dollars to shop for new clothing :-).