Fear of Failure

Happy Friday...

So this is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind. I KNOW WLS is a tool - it needs to be used properly. But all I can think of is the times I have "dieted" and exercised and still not lost weight. Since I have had my daughter (she is 2) it has been so difficult to lose weight. Prior to having my daughter I lost weight (close to 100lbs and I had kept it off until I got pregnant) And believe me, the efforts are there. I have noticed some issues - my thyroid is borderline "hypo" but my doctor will not treat it yet. And my cortisol levels fluctuate quite a bit and are often high. I am sure that these things work against my efforts. But I feel like I should be seeing better results. 

All I keep thinking about is what if I do this and do all the right things and NOTHING changes. Is that possible?? Did anyone else have the same fears? I am talking about the people who have the surgery and don't change their habits. Maybe this is just some anxiety as the process continues and I get closer.

Hello!

I am not sure where you are in your journey.

I promise you that I had fears going into my surgery.

My fears centered around possible mortality & possible complications.

The RNY is a tool designed to help you...  You will not feel hunger.  The foods that made us obese will cause some head hunger.  You will be amazed how a bit of determination, hard work and dedication will pay off.

You will never regret it.  You will follow the rules and do everything that is recommended post RNY.

I have been there and done that with dieting. I have failed...

I am (5) weeks post RNY and I am loving every minute... I have lost weight, look better and feel better.

OH  has helped me throughout this journey. 

Once you reach goal?  You will have to work hard to maintain the weight loss.  You need to look back at those pictures of that unhappy &  morbidly obese person and swear that you will never never be like that again...

Believe... This will be the most amazing and life changing experience of your life...

Take care

Sandra.  

Mahalo.  

Me being only 2 days post op I don't think I can speak to your question but I can tell you I also started to question myself as I closed in on surgery.  For me, I gained the strength to know I was doing the right thing because of my past failures to keep wieght off. Not.because I could not do it but because I know as soon as I let off I would gain it back.

Now that I am on the otherside, i am so aware of my new anatomy I just know I can only eat quality foods versus the crap that will cost me a menu/dinner if I fill up on it.  That is the strength I draw from.  I also have friends and many examples here on the forum where people do not feel hungry post op.  I can concur on only 2 days.. I know I need to have my protein shakes not because I am hungry, but because I know I have to provide protein to my body for life now. Not sure how to explain that.

I look forward to people responding with more time since surgery. 

Yes! I have the same fears.  I am much newer to the process than you, but you nailed my fears exactly.  I too have lost big weight with Weight Loss Clinic, a private nutritionist and Dr. Bernstein, only to gain it back and then some.  I am hoping the difference here is the long process that deals not only with the eating part but with the psychological part too. You are going to do fine. And so am I! 

Leslie

If you think you are going to fail...you probably will.  Your head will make it happen.  So the opposite is also true.  This WLS is like a master class in weight looss, lifestyle, and maintaince.  

At 1st it will be so easy you can't help but succeed, then routine and life sink in and it is still very manageable. Then it all is "normal" and you must practice everything you have learned on your journey & continue learning.  Keep coming onto this site years down the road to remind you where you have come from & are going to.

If you think WLS will put someone/something else in the driver's seat and you are along for the ride...don't bother doing it and live your life as best as you can.

I think you misunderstood what I was saying. 

I did not indicate that WLS was the end to any problems. 

I said that since having my daughter, despite following a meal plan and combined with exercise (and not simply walking) I have found the weight not coming off the way it would have before. Some people say that they follow the rules and they don't see success - that is what I am talking about. The fear that I will do everything as instructed and still not achieve the weight loss. 

I know why I am here. It took me a year to decide to go this route and a lot of behaviour change. But I am scared that even with the tool and the right changes that I won't succeed. I think for people who have struggled with their weight or have lost and gained that is a really normal fear? 

I think your fear is very normal!!  I am almost 3 years out and I still fear the weight will come back and I was only overweight for 10 years!!  Because it happened to me after being slim my whole life, I am afraid it could happen again.  Try to reason your way out of thinking this way and know that you will not fail because now you have an extra weapon in your fight against the gain!!

I think most people have the fear of failure. After all we are all here because nothing we have done in the past has worked.

I am inspired by the people that speak on this forum about their experiences, whether it be new people making the decision to finally have wls, or whether it be people that are weeks away from surgery, or those just out of surgery. But I must say, the most inspirational to me are hearing from people that have lived with the surgery for many years. I am starting a log of all of the inspirational comments that I am hearing on this forum. Even though I have only been doing this for a couple of weeks now, I am finding that it is helping me to continually read about other's experiences and to keep thinks into perspective.

I have also spent some time with a counsellor going over some issues in my life. She recently suggested that I maybe need to work on my self confidence. (Although, I'm sure if you were to meet me you would never guess I have these issues...we hide so much eh?) I am beginning to think that a lot of my weight issues are wrapped up in this. I am using a specific work book to work through these issues with my counsellor. As I work on this, I am only beginning to realize now that the Weight Loss Surgery as well as the counselling will be the key to my success. It's a long road ahead, but I am so grateful that these two things are coming into my life, hand in hand. Never have I lost weight before and worked on emotional issues at the same time. I am trying to set myself up for success and I am really excited about it! I know I am long winded...thanks for listening...

Thanks for sharing. :) 

I will tell you that losing the weight was absolutely easy for me. I was really good at losing weight prior to surgery but not keeping it off long term. Now I can keep it off and I have kept off most of my weight for over 10 years now. 

That said, know that it will never be as easy as it is your first year of losing.    You don't want to get back to old foods and old habits quickly. You want to work on creating a new foods that you like and new food habits all around. Those that don't make changes in their lives will easily go back to gaining the weight back. It has to be about change and it has to be about new foods. You have to know the difference between a good protein and a bad protein.  For example, if you keep thinking that eating protein cookies are "healthy" and is a staplr

of your diet then chances are you're probably not in the right frame of mind that you're going to keep the weight off

Learn from the old folks. Learn from those who gained the weight back.  Learn from those who didn't. Use the tools that you were given well. Use the resources of the centres well. You have to be an advocate for yourself in the process. Do your own research independent of your centre as the centres don't always give the best advice. Learn learn, research research.

Know that long term Is the biggest struggle. Surgery fixes our bodies and not our brains and our brains are the most difficult parts to change. When you need help reach out to your support group, find mentors and advocate for what you need from the centers.

rny for me in 2006 and no regrets.  It's hard work.