Finally told my parents

I everyone, and Happy New Year!

Well, I finally told my parents.  I'm 52 years old and I dreaded telling them about my surgery.  For one, I didn't want them to worry for longer than they needed to, and for another, I didn't want to listen to my Mom tell me how awful the idea was.

I did my best to reassure them that I"d done the research, had thought about this long and hard over the past 2 plus years, and have gotten clearances from my doctor, asthma specialist, and my surgeon, etc.  I told them it was a much safer procedure now than it used to be when it first came out, and that my surgeon does over 300 of these surgeries every year.  They know two of my friends who've had the surgery and have seen how well they've done.

My Dad was fine, a bit worried but otherwise OK.  He respects my decision.  My Mom, not so much.  I wasn't surprised as my Mom has never been very supportive and she feels overweight people are weak and just don't have enough will power.  She immediately told me that I should just diet and exercise and the weight would come off, and in fact, if I would just have watched what I ate in the first place, I wouldn't now need surgery.  I told her i didn't expect her to understand how hard it is because she has never had a weight problem. 

She knows that when I decide something it's a done deal because I am just as stubborn as she is, so she dropped it, for now, anyway. I asked them not to tell my aunts and uncles and cousins until after the surgery, because I just can't stand being talked about and I feel it's a private decision. It's not so much that I feel it should be a secret, it's that I hate gossip and won't listen to it, and certainly don't want to be the one gossiped about.  I only told my parents because I figured they have a right to know their daughter is going for surgery.

I was going to take a Greyhound to Toronto next week but we've been getting weird weather; snow one day, rain the next, and the forecast calls for snow flurries for the rest of the week so I decided to fly Porter.  Man, I wish I would have just booked this flight back when I booked the surgery flight.  I paid double for this ticket.  It's worth it though, as I won't have to stress over icy roads for 10 hours each way now, or worry that the highway will be closed and i won't be able to get there.

My nieces and nephew are looking forward to seeing me, and have already informed me that I'm taking part in a Monopoly marathon, lol.  I'm looking forward to it!  I'm flying out next Sunday and have my pre-surgery meeting a week from tomorrow.  I can't believe it's almost time for me to start Opti!  So excited.

Thanks so much for listening.

Hugs,

Kathy

Dearest Kathi,

How are you doing?

I read your post and I admire you for having the courage to tell your parents.  I completely understand how you feel.  I have posted about my inability to tell my parents and mother in law.

I didn't want to hear them try to talk me out of it.  Their concern is understandable but in the end, we should be the only ones making decisions for ourselves.  I am also 52 and very unhappy.  This was not a decision that I made on a whim.

I will come clean after my surgery and hope that they will quickly get over my dishonesty.

We have chosen to do what is best for us...

Best of luck on your journey!

I do admire your strength and determination.

We will always be there for you! 

Please keep in touch...

Sandra

Mahalo

Thank you, Sandra.  I so appreciate the empathy and understanding.

They didn't try to talk me out of it, and so far haven't said anything beyond my Mom's initial response.  My Dad is going to drive me to the airport, and they're going to take care of my little dog and parrot while I'm gone.

You aren't being dishonest, in my opinion. You're just being private, and also saving them a lot of worry.  Once they know about your surgery, it will be a done deal and they won't have to spend time stressed or anxious about the surgery.

I can't believe your date is tomorrow already.  So happy for you!  Please let us know how it goes.

Take care,

Kathy

Good for you!  I haven't told my in laws - too scared.  My mom knows and not quite sure if it was a good idea.  She seems supportive but keeps saying things like "is the surgeon good", "I hope nothing happens" ...

good luck and can't wait to hear all about it.

Thanks Leann.  It was hard but I'm glad it's over with and have been pleasantly surprised that my Mom hasn't been giving me a hard time. I told them over 2 years ago that I was considering WLS, and she was against it then, but I kept telling her I was going to research it thoroughly.  It really helps that she sees how well my two friends have done with their surgery.

I'm glad your Mom is supportive of you. I guess there's no way to stop a Mom from worrying.  I told mine that my surgeon does over 300 surgeries a year and that I couldn't find even one negative review about him online. 

I'm staying in Toronto for 5 days after surgery, so hopefully will feel at least a bit better by the time I fly home, so they won't see me at my absolute worst after surgery. 

Good luck with yours as well.

Kathy