Really bad and long PATT day! I am so ashamed of myself!

OMGoodness! 

Yesterday was so awful! I feel so horrible. What have I done?

So I had my PATT appointment at Humber at 1130.  I left at 930, stopped and got a decalf /2 sweetners for the drive,  and got there in plenty of time, except for going to the Old Hospital by mistake (habit) which then made me 7 minutes late for my appointment. Super hot day! Do not like driving in Toronto.  No air conditioning in the car. I HATE HEAT! I run hot alot of the time. Anyways, when I finally got there, I didnt want to use the washroom because I new that a urine sample may be needed for my tests. I knew this day could take anywhere from 2 -4 hours to complete. So I brought my water and optifast packet to shake & make my "lunch"when I got a break. DID NOT KNOW I WOULD NOT GET ONE. 

Well, I  was shuffled around for the next 4 hours. Finnaly at 1245, sitting with the pharmacy tech, I started to "feel" the effects of not eating and still  having to pee. The notorious sweats,  the tummy rumbling LOUDLY, the pounding headache, feeling anxious, and a bit of a tummy ache, cause I gotta pee. Now I haven't eaten anything since 7 am when I ate my breakfest (OPTI SHAKE). So, I either need to eat, or get a glucose tablet in me until I can make my shake. My other day appointments like this I got an lunch break.

After her, I got shuffled right to the nurse.  Taken from one room, right to the next.  After spending an hour with her, she ordered some follow up blood tests like sugar and thyroid. I told her my sugar is probably really low right now cause im hungry, i  need to take a glucose tablet. She said I couldnt, it will alter my results. Then she asked if I had any questions. OMG! I couldnt think of a single one. I WAS STARVING, and focused on my bladder. 

Well then, she escorted me to the lab for my bloodwork. Yay me, no urine test was needed. GRRRR!  At 210, irritable and SO done with this day, I was to go back to pre surgical screening to meet with the anesthesiologist. Well, I walked hurridly around the corner first to the washrooms. Phew. Thank goodness I made it that long.  Got back to pre screening and got in to a room within 5 minutes to meet with him.

FINNALY, my day was done 

245, i  bought a nice cold water and headed to my car- hungry, sweaty, irritable, in pain, anxious and a bit shaky, but happy im done. Get to my car to make my shake, spill it all over the front seat, passenger seat ,my cds,my purse and the console.  THE WHOLE BOTTLE!!! Opti and the water. I guess I was TOO shaky and clumsy to make it. Felt like crying now, a couple tears did fall as i looked up at the sky trying to take big breaths. After I composed myself, found my Dex4 tablets, popped one in my mouth. Cant find my parking pass to pay and leave the hospital. Forget where I put it.  Takes me 15 minutes to find and pay.  Headed for the closest Timmies to get a large decalf/2 sweetners. Well.................... I broke down and bought an apple fritter. OMG!!!! How could I? But my body NEEDED sugar! I needed to eat.....

I went to my car and ate it so quickly. I Had a hard time swallowing it because I knew I shouldnt have it. I was starving. Did I ruin the ketosis im in? I was down 4 pounds from tuesday. I felt so bad and ashamed of myself, I left to the highway only to have back to back traffic. Stop and go for 2 hours!!!! Still no air conditioning. Smell of Opti all through my car.  Sweating now like you wouldnt believe!  I didnt get back to Barrie until 6 pm. I walk in the door, daughter is eating, my mom made her fries, meatballs and my mom is eating hotdogs. OMG the smell!!!! I ate 6 french fries.

What do I do? Im so ashamed. Even writing this now im tearing up. It was such an awful day! Thanks for letting me vent. I REALLY needed this off my chest. 

What a horrible day.  Low blood sugar causes the sweating, shakes, and confusion.  Now that it is too late, you could have gone back into the hospital, explained what was happening and asked for some help.  They would have tested your glucose and given you something to bring it back to normal.

When you want to be sure you stay in ketosis, you need to buy some keto sticks.  You use those to check your urine and be sure that the stick changes color.  You will find them helpful now and after surgery.

That was one day I never want to repeat. 

My sugar levels have been erratic over the past 15 years. I carry Dex 4 glucose tablets on me for when I feel like my sugar is too low. Both parents have diabetes, and my moms parents did to.  I can go either high or low. I try to eat every 2 hours to avoid using the tablets, and I think I would have been okay yesterday  if I was allowed to take them. Since being on opti though, ive been at 4.6 which is wonderful, no problems,  Like i am right now. 

Thank you, i'm going to look into those ketosis strips. I like to know exactly what my body is doing. I'm a nerd like that. LOL.

Well yesterday is behind you now and hopefully every day will be better now.

I am so glad yesterday is gone. Today is so much better. Back on track. !!

Sounds like a horrendous day. Take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and move on. Put it behind you. 

It was a disasterous day, started as soon as I got into Toronto. LOL. I took ALOT of deep breaths on my way home. Turned my music up loud and sang loud. Didnt care who heard me. LOL I feel so much better today . Thanks for your kind words. 

Opti Buddy, put this behind you.  Can't change the past you can only move forward with this. You have one week to go and get back on the horse, YOU CAN DO IT.  I think all will be okay and you will do just fine.  :-) 

Thanks OptiBuddy. I CAN do this.  I think I got into a panic yesterday because I could tell my sugar was way too low. I was really hungry and my cucumbers sort of melted in my purse,  so I couldnt eat them. (no back up food) I couldnt even take my Dex4 glucose tablets after my bloodwork was done  because the nurse said they may need to take more blood. 

I've actually been enjoying the opti. Its so easy now. No thought to meal planning. Just for my daughter. Omygoodness.....My blood sugar has been at 4.6 since being on opti.  It hasnt been that low since.... i dont even now when. It usually sits at 7 or 8. With me being at 4.6, I felt it hard when I hadn't eaten.

But its all good today.I dont know what i would have done without you guys here and your kind words and support.

THANK YOU!!!!! 

Sorry you had such a hard day!  That sounds terrible.  When you are post op you will hardly remember all your pre op trials.  
I find low blood sugar/hunger will almost always lead to poor food choices.
Don;t hesitate to bring a shaker cup filled with water ready to mix with opti - mix it in the waiting room or in an office waiting for someone to come in if it is time to eat.  Eating on time is important and it will help prevent the over hungry food choices. Even post op I always carry a protein shake in my bag just in case.

But as for the slip - it is good to feel disappointed in yourself and a little upset - remember that feeling the next time you are tempted by something you should have.  but don;t beat yourself up over and over- you did it , it is done, all you can do is try not to do it again next time.