Feeling like a failure.....

Don't be to hard on  yourself. Your not alone. I have had similar thoughts as my date is approaching within a month. 

I wonder if it is the stress of the surgery . The wait has been so long and finally a surgery date. I have found myself doing way to much thinking and eating out of control lately. I think I need to slow my thinking down and stop thinking negative thoughts. 

Hope this helps as you are not the only one. 

Cheers

I fought the idea of surgery for over a decade, it can be quite a battle with yourself.  A decade ago I laughed when specialists told me the only thing that would help me would be surgery.  What?  That is something unheard of and extreme, the problem had to be me, something was wrong with me.  I was too lazy, I had not found the "magic" diet that was going to take off the weight for good.  It was only in recent years that I have started to be a better friend to myself, to have compassion for my own difficult situation.  I thought of what I would say to a dear friend who had struggled as I had, and it was nothing like what I had been saying to myself my whole life.  If I could have compassion for others why not me?  If not me then who can I rely on to always be there for me?  This "self love" is what made the difference and I was able to accept that I needed help and move forward.  Maybe it would help clarify how you feel if you think of it in terms of what you would say to a dear friend in your situation.  Btw, I am 20 months post op and have no regrets, have gone from 291 at orientation to 148 at 20 months post rny.  The hardest part by far is the psychological part, it can be an emotional rollercoaster at times.  Do not be afraid to reach out for help when you need it.  Take care and please let us know how things go.

Hi Zizzler

When you say an emotional roller coaster, do you mean that you have trouble controlling the head cravings?    Is it different than when we diet?  I'm just curious as to how you manage it differently now?

I feel the same as you a lot of the time- mine is 3 days after your so I know how scared and confused you must be. I have failed at being healthy, I've tried and tried and it backfires on me and I just can't do it anymore.. I'm giving myself a tool, a chance to not fail again.

you are very normal- if you weren't then there wouldn't be surgeries like these.  

Take care 

I am 43 and just had the procedure done with Dr Klein.  He is awesome and will take good care of you!   It's important to think forward not much point in looking back nothing has changed and you're not headed that direction.    I found many people mostly my close family had some great idea to just lose the weight and I obviously couldn't "just lose the weight"   I think their intentions are good but made me feel pretty bad.  As soon as I surrounded myself with people that understand, the bad feelings seem to get less because I was feeling understood.   Stay strong and everything will be great 

Good morning, my name is Lisa and I am 1 year post surgery.  You are so very brave!!!

We have all felt the same way at some point.  For me having surgery was not about the aesthetic part of it but for being there for my kids.  I probably would not have reached 50 without some major complications from being overweight.

I feel much better, no high blood pressure, no sleep apnea, no heart issues etc etc.

Please come out and join a beautiful group of women that I have met through this process.  They and myself will help you feel much better about yourself.  We are meeting this Thursday at Tim Hortons on Jane just south of Weston Road.  See post from Lorraine.

Have a beautiful day

Lisa

You are making a positive step to make your health better for the future ... that is incredibly brave.

I was warned by a friend who had WLS that people around her did not help her mental state prior to surgery so I have intentionally only told about 5 people who I know will support me ... I don't want to defend my choices to other people and it is no one else's business.

Keep looking forward, keep making changes.  Regardless of the journey, you are NOT a failure. 

I'm going to be blunt and honest, with out changes most of us here are at a very very high risk of a greatly reduced lifespan

What happened before doesn't mean anything now

Be selfish , take care of yourself 

Screwed up before ? who cares lol

I was the same.  I was a healthy eater, didn't drink pop, fairly active, but no matter what I did I gained and gained and gained.  I gained up to 398 lbs and a size 28.  I kept putting off surgery because I wanted another baby, but miscarriage after miscarriage, I gave up, and finally said my baby needs her mom!  So I got the referral, went through what felt like a million hoops and on March 2nd, my whole world changed.  I've battled IBS my whole life.  After 3 epidurals, I had crazy back pain.  After surgery on March 2nd, almost no backpain, my IBS is gone.  I can walk again without the anxiety of knowing where the nearest bathroom is.  I can chase my daughter again and feel like a person!  I'm 321 lbs as of this morning, and I finally feel like I'm winning the battle.  I've had weeks with no loss, weeks with huge loses and weeks with no losses...  some days I lose .2 of a lb, some days I lose 3 lbs...  It's such a weird process, but I'm learning to slowly accept it and am trying to keep positive and remember why I did this.  I miss good food, but we eat well, and my whole family is benefiting from the healthy choices we all have to make now.  Would I do it again, in a heartbeat!!!

OMG That was so very inspiring.  I applaud your success. I too want to benefit from all that. My surgery is on Monday.  I'm already down almost 100 lbs since last august. Keep sharing. I would like to hear about your positive progression. 

Keep it rolling.