Feeling like a failure.....

I personally never felt I have failed myself through out this whole process but as the surgery date approaches and family and friends talk more about it I kind of started to think I'm doing this surgery because I have failed at being healthy and normal. Hw 470 cw 390 surgery date may 16. I'm 33 getting the surgery done at humber river by Dr.Klein 

Anybody else feeling the same?  Anyone care to share stories?  If not Goodluck to all.

I urge those same feelings...and am constantly on the fence whether surgery is the right choice for me.  I fear that in the future I will regret it...but also fear that if I don't...there will be no future. ð??". It's a constant argument in my head...I ha orientation in August of 2015

Yep...felt the same way for most of my life and got worse every time I lost weight and regained it...plus more.

I'm just over a year post-op and have been successful so far. The weight loss has slowed down but I have been maintaining so far. There are many vets on here with positive outcomes who are very encouraging. Check out the daily What are you eating/doing threads to follow the menus, the challenges and successes. I don't participate in that thread but check it regularly for positive reinforcement. (Thanks to those who are regular posters on that thread!)

I am healthier and able to shop at the "normal" stores now. I am thrilled with my success so far and how great I feel. No regrets except that I didn't do this sooner...but then again I may not have been in the right head space before now.

You are not a failure! You are being proactive in making the necessary changes to be healthier and live a healthy lifestyle. Your time has finally come to succeed! As long as you follow the guidelines from your centre you should do well...and come on here for encouragement and moral support.

Good luck!

Tammy :)

Thank you so much.

First of all, you are not a failure.  Not by any means.  Second, what is normal?  There is really no such thing.  Look at any "normal" person, you'll find the abnormalities within.

You are a very brave person.  It takes a brave person to admit that they need help, which you have done.  Don't listen to anyone who says that you are taking the easy way out.  Just like everything else, you are now gathering tools to help you gain a healthier lifestyle.  The tools that you have tried, have not been the ones to work for you.  This one will, I'm sure of it.  Would you use a hammer to get rid of a clog in the sink, no, would you use a saw to cut your hair, no.  Other tools didn't work for you, it's not a failure, it's a non fit.

We all get the way we are either by one or a combination of things, including but not limited to, genetics, unhealthy choices, non treated issues (which can be psychological, physical, etc), it can also be caused by society itself.

Surgery is not a magic want, and may not in itself be what you need.  You may need a combination of surgery and counseling, or re-educating yourself.

Give yourself a hug, and remember, you are not alone.

Cathy

So very true thank you much

It takes a lot of guts and courage to go through wls. People around us think they are being helpful bu until they walk in our shoes they don't get it. I wanted to be healthy and not hurt anymore. I found great support and friends in support groups. Family that weren't supportive I put them on the side lines. After decades of being unhappy and struggling with one diet or another I took cotrol back. Now 4 years out and have not haad one ssecond of regret. I have become more confident aand happier. Yes I still have some health issues but noe that would put me in a wheelchair. It will take work especially the first 6 months but enjoy. You can do this.

You are already doing a great job at losing. You are taking control of your life and health. You are not doing this for family or friends but for yourself.

the only person that know if this is right for you is you. At your current weight you are heading for health problems that you can stop from happening if you lose weight.

You need to be confident in yourself and know that you can do this and make a new healthier lifestyle for yourself.

we are here to help you any way we can

Thank you. I needed that. 

I know where you are coming from :D We have similar stats for surgery, and I'm also 33. (Hoping to get my surgery date this week, and it's also with klein) 

although it might seem like you're failing at being healthy... you're making a dramatic effort to correct that, and give yourself a better life!!