Body image

I knew coming into surgery that I would have body image issues. Some days I see myself as a success, and other days all I see are really thick thighs, big butt and stomach. I'm in the 180s, weight wise, and a year ago that would have thrilled me. Now, I find myself cutting more and more calories and telling myself why it's okay (I can skip this meal or that, it's not like I feel hungry anyway). Yesterday, for example, I was around 450 calories for the day. I've been sleeping a lot and I'm smart enough to know why.  I feel like this is becoming an obsession with the scale and how low it can go.

Hi 

I would contact your center and try to get an appointment with the therapist.   The fact you know this is dangerous  says a lot about your self knowledge.

Good luck 

What if you make a list of all of the successes you have had including how much weight you have lost, health improvements, NSV, and anything that is a positive and post them up around your house in places like bathrooms where there are mirrors and you see yourself.  Take a moment to read them from time to time to remind yourself.  Pick a song that you love that makes you feel good.  Print out the words for it and post those too.  I have this at my desk at work and they help to re-inspire me. No one is perfect and I think we are all of our own worst critics but you have done such an amazing job.  I have followed your story since the beginning and really feel that you have been an really big inspiration to me.   If you feel this is becoming an obsession I agree that you should contact HRRH and speak to them.  It may just give you some new insight on your new body and life.    You have taken the first step in realizing that there may be something not just right which is one of the hardest ones to take.

Seyenna I know you are up in Barrie, but I find the TWH support group is helpful. There's an upcoming session specifically on body image on May 18th. 

Therapy would be good at this point, before things get more obsessive for you. Please take care of yourself. 

Thanks Roma -- I want to make that session. Can you tell me where we access the schedule for upcoming Support sessions? I get the email 2x a month - not much else. I know I've missed something.

I'm headed down the same path as Seyenna when it comes to the scales and cutting back.

Sorry to hear you are struggling too. I got that info about the session from the last email that was sent by the TWH bariatric team on Feb 24th.

Ooops and thanks. Ah yes - there it is! One day I will learn how to read!!!!

No problem ! See you there. 

I think we all tend to walk on the obsessive side of things.  I feel that's what kinda got us into this mess in the first place.  Whether its over eating or not eating.  I realized that many of the things in my life that I wasn't happy with involved my total LACK of ability to find BALANCE with things.  I have read countless times people saying that they have that "all or nothing" mentality  (which I totally do)!!  

So... The moral of my story is.....you are not alone, and I think the feelings you are having are very normal and VERY common.  We all greatly fear gaining, and so want to taste ultimate sweet success ...and it seems no matter what we amazing feats we achieve...we always want more and its not quite enough.  As sad as that is......I too am guilty as charged!!!

My advice...keep looking back at the old pictures and constantly remind yourself how far you have come.  Put HEALTH first when you think of skipping meals and really listen to your body when its telling you its weak (no self sabotaging or reforming unhealthy eating patterns) .  Get lots of sleep....because no good thoughts or good decisions ever came of a person deprived of sleep. Use your supports at your clinic for advice.

Like I said on Valentines Day, my wish is that we can ALL learn to love and accept ourselves a little more each day. " A persons worth cannot be determined by the gravitation forced placed on a numerical weighing device".   Hang in there girl!!!  You will find your way.

How nicely worded and full of wisdom!