Just for kinda for my curiousity (but with an agenda of sorts..)

Hey everyone, 

Well it has been quite a white since I've been active on this website in any way, but I've just been doing a lot of thinking and have sort of scanned through some of the more current posts over the last month or so. I see there are a lot of you our there who are excited/eager/hopeful that this surgery will be one of the best weight loss tools that you've come across to use. Some are worried and concerned about work, relationships with friends and food, exercise, the normal we'd all expect to be anxious about, given the drastic changes to your body and lifestyle that are just lurking around the corner. 

Now I've not ventured off the Ontario forum at all, except to see some before and after photos once the other day, so I'm not sure what other sorts of forums are on here. Don't get me wrong, I'm just as supportive to everyone regardless of location, though since we are fellow Ontarians (I'm sure I live near to many of you!), it's just my choice to stick around here rather than bounce all over. 

So here is where my curiousity comes from.. I too, like most of you on here, would read these random posts from people about a wide variety of fears and triumphs and struggles so I could perhaps figure out for myself where I might fit in this huge equation, and whether or not I was making an informed choice. It took me over two years to get through all the hoops, paperwork and testing to be approved for and have the RNY surgery done. Pretty soon right after, I stopped coming to this forum. I didn't actively pursue any online help from fellow weight loss patients, which I'm now thinking may not have been the best choice. 

What I'd like to know is what kind of help you utilized post op, how you dealt with struggles, were you happy with the results? Would you do this journey over again? 

My story varies greatly from what I've seem posted here, and maybe it is just because this is more of a boost you up kind of page and I'd be better suited to read some of the other forums. I worry though, are there some of you out there like me, who haven't broadened your learning well beyond what was taught by the surgeons, nurses, nutritionists, so that you're totally well rounded in the success anf failures that may come? I feel as though I severely failed and let myself down in that regard..

So I guess what I wanted to suggest from my post is... if you feel like chatting with me pre op about what my experience has been like, I would be more than happy to share all the positives, negatives, whatever. I'm afraid of stepping on toes or upsetting people here unintentionally, and I sincerely apologize if I have. I'm just me, looking to help if I possibly can with my own experience. If you'd like to chat, feel free to send me a message, and if no one replies, I'll just retreat as though I'd not posted, leaving you all with my best wishes for amazing success! Thank you for taking the time to even read just a few sentences :)

Have a great night!

Keri

First, I have to start off with the fact that I'm pre-op. Your question is directed towards post-ops, but I can't resist the urge to share some thoughts. Also, I am by no means an expert on WLS, bariatric success, etc. But here is my theory: since I am fresh out of the teachings of the surgical centre (for me, that's TWH), I have some statistics stuck in my head. One thing they said is that ~5% of people who have WLS obtain an ideal BMI of around 25. That means 95% of people are still in the overweight category. Also, they say that having a strong support system will help you succeed. Because this forum is chuck full of support, I think that people *****ligiously stick to this (and other) forum(s) and seek advice when they begin to falter, are setting themselves up for more long-term success.

My other thought is that the stuff they make you learn prior to going under the knife sets the stage for self-learning. Similar to college/university, you're given the tools to teach you how to learn what's needed but no one really monitors you to make sure you're doing the work. It's only when the exams come around (ie, the scale in WLS terms) that you find out your grade.

As a pre-op, I'm constantly going through a cycle of "I got this" and "OMG, I'm so not ready. I need to learn more!" I think this will be a nearly constant stage of learning and self education. The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know anything. 

Hey there, 

Firstly, thank you for your reply :) any and all feedback is welcome! 

My post isn't speficially directed to post op people, but to pre op as well, and it does have to do with how well informed you are prior to accepting the challenges that open up after surgery. I had two years to learn, research and process the information that i was given through various different methods, and also at times felt I was totally prepared in every aspect, while at the same time being scared silly. Post op, the feelings I had at first were as they described, and I followed their guidelines to the letter. I was on track with my weight loss progress, however the two major areas I failed in were dealing with mental health issues and shame along with being naive about the daily challenges that eating posed for me. I fell for the famous 'assume' word thinking that the discomfort, pain and diffuculty I was experiencing was the same as others. 

The issues I faced were meant to have been address and dealt with almost three years ago, but I've fallen victim to these issues by no fault of my own and to the dismay of my surgeons and other doctors. I certainly had no issue losing the weight, it was just too drastic too quickly at the main fault of being extremely ill. I believe my BMI is and has been hovering around 17 for the last three years, one extreme to the next

I guess what I'm in a round about way trying to get to without upsetting anyone, is about education and self awareness and speaking up when something still doesn't seem right even though they've all said you're good to go. I'm laying once again in a hospital bed as I type this, hoping this last set back will at least allow me to go home sometime tomorrow. 

I do find that this forum has quite the wealth of knowlege, though it can be difficult to find someone out there who closely mirrors the same issues. It would be great to learn how others have coped or give some advice/info of signs to watch for that perhaps weren't as emphasized as effectively to me at the time. It's always a continual learning journey! I'd go more into detail of my experience on this post, however it would turn into a novel lol.. 

Anyway, again any thoughts/questions from others are welcomed :) 

Feel free to explain your story, in full, so that others may learn from it. I've found that there's no worry of stepping on toes here, unless you're trying to get money from the forum as a whole (snort), or you're pushing some archaic view of diet and nutrition. Simply telling everyone your story and experiences will help new comers and old comers alike.. and you might even find that some of the really old timers have sage advice for you. It's a learning experience for us all. I wish you a speedy recovery from what ails you.

Yikes! Sorry, I totally misread your post. I thought you gained a little and were beating yourself up over it. 

You make a great point. I for one have a hard time sticking up for myself. I don't know if it is due to body image issues, self worth, etc... But I go in to a doctors office determined to get my point across and then shy away. Advocating for people to take charge if their health is awesome.

It's also great to hear that you were knowledgable but still very much afraid. That us where I am now (not too sure how well schooled I am, I guess we will find out after I gave surgery). 

I am very sorry that you are going through so much adversity. I sincerely wish you all the best.

I'm 9 years out and support is still necessary in the journey especially since it gets harder as we go along.

Support groups are great.  Coffee chats are great.  Finding mentors is important.  Reaching out the mental health professionals at the centre is also important when struggles occur.  

There are many wonderful facebook groups as well. 

Dawn

Welcome back Keri. I am 3.5 years out. I did not come to this forum until after I had my surgery so we are kind of opposite. I would do this surgery again in a heart beat. I wish I had known more about it sooner. Having said that I am glad I had the opportunity to have my surgery in Ontario. I have received excellent health care and follow-up. I have taken advantage of support groups and psychologists. This has helped me deal with my eating demons and given me tools to try to be successful.

On OH you often hear the saying That they operated on your stomach not your head. Getting help really has made a difference for me.I usually participate in the what are you eating-doing today because it helps me be accountable and gives me ideas for meals

I respect people like Diminishing Dawn and others who have stayed around and encouraged all of us.

Hey again :)

I'm sorry that I haven't replied yet to those of you who are kind enough to share your thoughts! It's been a rough few days for me, but at least now I am at home resting, rather than laying in the hospital. 

Your feedback so far is great, I really appreciate the replies! And I will respond to you all (pinky swear lol), but it may take a few days. I'm still not up to par and just don't have the energy at the moment. I anticipate that today will mostly be a sleep day, though I will do my best to reply! 

Thank you again to you all for your support and understanding! I hope everyone has a wonderful day :)

Keri

"are there some of you out there like me, who haven't broadened your learning well beyond what was taught by the surgeons, nurses, nutritionists, so that you're totally well rounded in the success anf failures that may come? I feel as though I severely failed and let myself down in that regard"

I am still pre-op and feel that I have broadened my learning well beyond the surgeons, nurses, nutritionists etc.  I am a scientist/researcher by training (in the medical field) so I regularly access journal articles and reviews on pretty much any topic I can get my hands on, but I still don't feel like it is enough.  As you allude to, every one's story differs, and as much as I've asked the questions on here to the post-ops "what do you wish you knew before that you know now" and "what did you struggle with", the responses were many of the same, fix the head problems first, constipation/gas issues etc.  And I know that I have head issues, but i've already seen a psychologist that specializes in obesity for them, I recognize my issues, but changing behaviours and finding solutions (and sticking to them), seems to be where the challenges lie.  So what do you wish you knew then that you know now?  What would you have done differently with respect to support and education?  And what do you recommend to someone who seeks out the help and education but still struggles to make the changes (pre-op)?

Thank you so much for your thoughful post and response if you feel up to it.  I hope your recovery goes well and you feel better soon, i'd love to hear your story.