Body Image Issues

Hi Folks;

So here I am, nearly 11 months out from surgery and down 145 lbs.  Physically, I feel amazing and have so much more energy than I ever did in my life.  However - I am mortified with my physical body.

When you dream of extreme weight loss, you picture a svelte version of yourself prancing about in fashionable clothing, getting compliments and generally feeling great.  And this does happen!  But under those fashionable clothes there's a whole other story.

Your body does not instantly becomes smooth and curvy.  There is lots of sagging and bagging and dimpling and chafing.  Personally, I do not feel beautiful at all.  I feel a little hideous.  I was use to my "fat-body".  I knew how to dress it and didn't really care about my fat-flabby arms and legs.  It was what it was.  Now, I'm embarrassed about my floppy, crepe-y, sagging arms, belly and thighs.    Clothes don't fit right for different reasons now.  I jiggle differently.  My curves and soft spots have shifted and become mushy.  It's a little depressing.  It's a little disheartening.  No matter how many times you say you're losing weight for your health - there's still a little piece of you that wants to look good too.  And that doesn't always happen.

I'm beginning to understand that I'm never going to wear a "cute little bathing suit".  That Tank-inis with skirted trunks are still going to be needed to hide the melted flab and hanging skin.  That I'm going to have to stuff myself into Spanx of various styles to look somewhat decent in a fitted dress or tailored pants.  I'm never going to look effortlessly put together.  "The Natural Look" will never be "natural" for me.  There are still going to be as many compromises and tricks as there was when I weighed 365 lbs.

I don't want to be fat again ... hell no.  But I wish I could feel comfortable inside my own skin (even the flubbery hanging bits).  I cover myself up more than I ever did.  And people seem to enjoy pointing out the issues when I'm not covered. "OMG, your arm!" or "I hope you're planning to get plastic surgery ..."  I am more self-conscious than I ever was 100 lbs ago.  Maybe in time, I'll get use to this new version of me as well.  But right now it makes me a little sad that I feel so awful about myself.

Guess I just needed to vent.

TES

I went from 370 to my current weight of 264. I love looking down at my "skinny" (it's all relative, isn't it?) legs in jeans or how my waist looks with a cute belt under a nice flowey shirt. I agree about the arms and thighs - awful! I can squeeze all of the flab and skin away from my arms and note in a mirror how tiny they are. I have weird wrinkle things under my chin, I seem to be the only one that notices that though, but they're definitely there. I can't imagine what I'm going to look like in another 100 lbs. I'm 5'5 tall, and my weight is supposed to be 125-145ish, that's another over 100 lbs. I have no idea what to expect at that point, lol

I have friends who work out and have been fit and healthy there whole lives.  They complain of cellulite, and areas they are not content with.  I think women are very hard on themselves and while your feelings are valid, be proud of what you accomplished.  I have found that if you tone using weights or pilates/yoga it helps.

Also perhaps consider some plastic surgery in a year when things have settled.

There are always ways to fix things if you are not 100% happy with the results, but losing the weight is the best thing.

Kelly

Hugs Tes 

I am only 5 weeks out but can see how the crepey skin may be an issue for me as well.  I am turning 49 in August and I think I need to remind myself that a 49 year old won't just look like a 25 year old when I lose the weight LOL  I just have to keep reminding myself that I 95% did this for my health, and that the 10 pills I was on daily is already down to just 1 :)  For that I am so thrilled.....and my husband keeps saying how my ass is so much smaller!!! already!!!!

You are gorgeous......and now you are healthy!  The rest of the self esteem issues will be worked on over the years I guess.....tell those mean people who point out physical things to kiss your small ass!!!! 

Hey Tes, you are definitely not alone.  I definitely like how I look now, as opposed to how I looked pre surgery, but there are a lot of things that I'm not thrilled about either.  Plastics would be nice, but I don't see them in the near future.  I have accepted how I look, and remember that every "flaw" that I see, is really a battle scar from battles that I have won.  The war may last a lifetime, but each piece of excess skin that I have is a reminder of all the battles that I have fought and won!

I know that I will never be a highly coveted super model, but to be honest, I wouldn't want to be.  They can keep their life, and all the stress that goes with it.  I'm more interested in being able to keep up with my kids.  And to be able to be the goalie of my ball hockey team. 

Cathy

I understand completely!  I'm the same way right now! 

I know I have lost the weight but all I see is the yucky remnants like loose skin and the stomach bulge that a size 6 pant can't hide.  I guess we will just have to get used to it. :(

I think I can understand these feelings. I'm still pre-op, and can't really imagine what I will look like as I approach goal...but I am sure it will be droopy.  

And I secretly suspect that if anyone ever said "I hope you're planning to get plastic surgery..." I would reply "Yeah...you too!" and make a grossed out face.  

But I am rude that way.

Mindy,

I don't think your response is rude! The original comment was the rude one! You go, girl! Love it! :)

Carol

You are my favorite, I love your attitude girl.

Hi Tes,

I am just at the beginning of this journey, but can see how I may feel the same way. Perhaps, like we accepted our fatter bodies, we will come to accept our thinner bodies too. Maybe the secret is to find new friends? :)

Best of luck with loving the new you!

Carol