down in the dumps

Well things were running along fine.  Transferred to Guelph have orientation on April 9th.  Then on Sunday we get an email from the landlord advising us he is returning to Canada.   As a result we have to move.  We have the option of waiting till our lease runs out or if we go early they will give us a few months free.   I have been so down since then.  We love the house and the space in the country.   Now I don't want to eat and I cannot sleep cause I'm so stressed at the thought of having to find a new place to live and the whole process of moving again.  I would never of moved here if I had thought we were not going to be hear for a few years.  The kids have gone back to fighting at the thought of moving again.  Never mind the fact I haven't even told my 85 year old mother that we have to move again. She is going to freak right out.   I'm so stressed and playing volleyball and soccer is just not helping alleviate some of it this time.  Trying to face this head on but really just want to sit and cry all day and night.

Seems you can just never catch a break! I am sure all the work and headaches involved with moving is daunting but keep in mind you don't have to do everything at once. The list may be longer than you want but take it one item at the time. Not sure the ages of your kids but try to involve them in the house hunt and they may be more accepting and helpful. They are younger and will adjust. It will be harder for your mom but you will still be together. Focus on that and know that this isn't your doing but you all just need to make the best of a bad situation. Hopefully there will be a number of good choices come available now that spring is here more people will be moving. I think it's probably a blessing that you can deal with this and get settled before your surgery. One step...and one day at a time! It will all come together! Best of luck! Kim

Thanks Kim for the feedback.   The hardest part is that both my husband and mom are pack rats.  By definition they would be hoarders if I allowed it.  So much stress from this.   So moving is not simple task.  I found the current house and everyone loved it.  I'm sure we will find another place to live but this house felt like home which makes leaving so hard.  We had the best Christmas and New Years that we have had in a long time.  Both kids (young adults) understand and are on board helping to find the new place but it still feels horrible.  I a allowing my self to feel this and avoiding the binge eating.  So I am happy with that.

I completely understand...When we moved to our current home i swore 'never again' and we've had to seriously consider moving a couple of times and I was so stressed. Back then, besides eating I remember scrubbing floors and vacuuming until 1 o'clock many nights. Good for you for not turning to food! Glad your kids are on board...they can be a great support at this age (same as my three) and I just let mine know that I need them and their support and they are pretty good about it.

its too bad about your current place but sounds liken out have some good memories and I'm sure you will have more great ones at the next place because that's where you will lose a lot of weight and get your life back. So many things are easier when you lose weight. Hang in there and you will get through this. 😊

Moving is a huge stress, planned or not. I feel for you - just the thought of having to move puts my gut in knots. I'm sure your kids will get over it - sometimes they lack the filter between their heads and their brains and as parents, we get to experience the wrath of their uncensored inner thoughts. lol

This may be a perfect opportunity do a major clean out before moving. I would suggest to your spouse and mother that there is no sense in (yet again) moving possessions that they just don't use and someone else could benefit from their donations. Make 3 piles - keep, garbage, donate. You will have enough on your plate (so to speak) with an upcoming surgery, recovery, and new lifestyle - set the tone at home now while you have the chance.

Good luck and best wishes with all of this.

K.

Hi Sandra, I understand how you feel.  A year and a half ago, I was forced to move.  My reasons were different (separation), but it still wasn't easy.  I had to sell my house, and do all the work to get it ready for sale by myself.  I also had to look for a house for myself, my kids and my Mom to live in that we could afford.  There weren't many houses for rent at the time (not able to buy again for a while).  I included my boys in the house hunt to a degree (Mom looked at a couple houses when I couldn't).  They did come to look at the house we ended up renting.  My eldest son has anxiety, so I was worried about the change in schools that we needed to do.  And when I moved, I had 2 households to put into one house.  This included going through everything in the house, and getting rid of what wasn't needed, including stuff my ex left behind.

There was a couple silver linings in my situation.  First, I remembered and re-enforced the knowledge that I could do all the work myself (plumbing, painting, carpentry, flooring, electrical etc).  It gave me some of my strength back. Also, it helped me get rid of a lot of stuff (a lot that my ex decided he could leave at the house).  I had Just Junk take 3/4 of a truck and filled a dumpster (even after the ex dumpster dove for a love seat) with all the garbage that I threw out.  I also gave several van loads full of stuff to value village, and more stuff to local charities.  Even after moving, I still had a lot of cleaning and donating to do.

They do suggest the rule, if you haven't used it in a year, you probably won't use it again.  Perhaps you can get your Mom and DH to go through their stuff, with the excuse that they should make sure that nothing is broken or damaged in the collection.  And if it's damages, then they should throw it out.  Especially if it hasn't been unpacked yet.  And while they go through it, remind them if they don't really need it, maybe they could sell it or donate it to allow someone else to enjoy the item.

Always keep a box available marked donation for solid items, and a box or bag for clothing for donation.  Then you can all put stuff there, instead of waiting until donation day, then deciding it is too big of a job and you don't have time.  That's what I have constantly.  And encourage everyone to use them.  If you use bags for clothing donations, use clear ones, so that you don't forget what is in there.

Good luck house hunting, and cleaning.

Cathy

Thank you for the feedback.   Knowing that others feel this way helps.  Was very surprised today by my son after spending most of the day with him.  We started talking about what needed to be done for moving and he was way more understanding than I figured he would be.  Now lets hope my mom responds the same.