Am I turning into an a$$hole?

So I ask myself, am I turning into an a$$hole? 

My job has always been stressful but more and more since surgery 5 months ago I feel angry that I have let others walk all over me in the past.  I tend not to take and crap from people and call them on it if I disagree or feel something is unfair.  I am not being rude but I am speaking my mind a lot, and it feels weird but empowering.  The truth is I am no longer able to keep quiet when things bother me.  I can't just sit there while someone else gets credit for my work, or let myself be pushed into doing all the overtime just because nobody else wants to.  I am angry that I allowed myself to become the person who does any ****ty task just because I am happy to be accepted, happy to feel worthy enough for them to think me capable. I guess I am just realizing how low I was in myself pre-op. Anyhow, I am just increasingly dissatisfied with my job, and especially as I watch my colleagues getting promotions so easily while I do not.  I have begun looking for another job, I am just fed up and need a change I guess.  The annoying part is I have only myself to blame, we teach others how to treat us, and I have let others treat me poorly in the past.  Time to re-teach those who would take advantage. Easier said than done when you have always been their go-to person for everything, but I will not give up. 

Anyone else experiencing the same or similar post-op?

Hopefully my thoughts make sense.   For me (and I'm sure others) we spent many years hiding in the shadows and allowing people to walk over us.   Not feeling confident,  respected or heard was me while I was over weight.   Didn't want to bring attention to myself.   A people pleaser.   Not everyone who is overweight is like that but it sure was me.   Losing the weight gave me confidence.   I didn't mind people 'looking at me' not to mention I had more energy to stand up for myself.   Yes to some,  I may be 'bit$hier' or more confrontational compared to before.   I don't think I've gone to extremes and I am not unreasonable.   I make sure my opinions are heard and that I am worthy of being included. 

I am still me just a more confident me.   Hope that makes sense. 

Kristie 

Zizzler I agree that you should not let people walk all over you, but please don't burn any bridges or quit until you have another job.  I just don't want to see you even more stressed, because we've come to care about you.  

Aww, that is so sweet, thank you :0)

Don't worry, there is no way I am leaving this job before I have another one lined up.

I think I need to focus more on my leisure time to take my mind off work stuff, going to work on that.

I think you nailed it with focusing on leisure time (and in turn, leaving work where it belongs - AT work) and I too am working on this.

I have read so many posts over the years similar to yours with respect to finding a new backbone after surgery. My take on it (and no, you are not turning into an asshole lol) is that with having WLS and losing a dramatic amount of weight we finally feel in control and focused. We feel pride in what we can and are doing, making everyday annoyances feel like others are trying to take that control from us. (You are not the boss of me!)

Learning to stand up for yourself is the first step, doing so assertively and diplomatically is the next.

K. :)

^^ Agreed!! And the first couple of years, the changes are so dramatic with our bodies, adjusting to a new life of eating (have you been grossed out by watching others eat yet? That will pass too), and plain and simple coming out of a shell...mixed with some emotional hormones that we get post-surgery. I made many emotional mistakes during my first year post-surgery....but the amount of pluses I did make outweighed my mistakes. When I didn't have food to think about....so much more became clear. It's hard to figure out what to do with that!

Yup, exactly.  Making mistakes, feeling awkward but also feel I can't just let things slide like I used to.

Thanks Karen - yes doing so diplomatically is a challenge, I am working on that. Lol.              I am reading a book called "the joy of not working", it's about developing your leisure time.  If you have not read it I highly recommend it.

Excellent reading suggestion, I'll check it out. 

Sounds like what I am going through.  Were you scared at first?  I feel a need to be heard but at the same time it is really scary, not my usual routine.