Worried

Hi folks, just wanted to mention something that I haven't seen posted yet. I am obese and need/want surgery. No question. My issue is I consider myself a "healthy" fat person and I actually love my life. I have a wonderful husband, amazing children, beautiful house, successful career and I'm a very happy positive person. I worry about the complications and impact this will have on my life. I read it's life changing and I do worry about that part. I want to change one part of my life (my unhealthy relationship with food) but am quite satisfied with everything else for the most part. I worry if this decision will negatively impact other areas of my life? Am I being ridiculous? My hubby's supportive but I read there is a high divorce rate. Anyone else worry about these things or been in this situation? I'm sure I'm not the only one who loves my life pre-surgery, lol....looking forward to hearing from you! Also any tips? Thanks (sorry for the long post) 

Hi Nikita.  I can only tell you my story thus far.  I had surgery 6 months ago and yes, the first few months can be pretty overwhelming.  There are a lot of changes to your diet, how you look at food and how food impacts your life.  In the beginning, that kind of drips over into all aspects of your life.  BUT ... as this becomes your "new normal" life goes on ... Work stays the same, and (for me) relationship pretty much stay the same.  There is a learning curve on how to deal with the social aspects of food, but you figure it out.  My boyfriend had a bit of a hard time at first ... but he's on-point now :).  My best friends found it weird that we weren't going out for dinners all the time, but we've found new ways to spend time together.  The inner workings of my life have changed - how I feel about myself, about food, etc.  But everything else has kept ticking along just nicely.  I have developed a bit of a clothes addiction ... :) 

If you're serious about the surgery, and willing to make the commitments needed for this process - your already great life can only benefit from it.

Hope at least some of that made sense. :)

TES

Thanks Tes for taking the time to respond and share your experience! Much appreciated!!! :)

Hi Nikita, 

I actually hated being bigger and am grateful for the surgery.  I must also say that now that I am thinner I realise even more how unhappy I was before.   My hubby was supportive and have had no issues since surgery (except my hubby says right after surgery I was kinda *****y for a while due to the hormone changes).  

However, if you are not sure maybe try the Opti program that some centers offer, which teaches you how to eat better and offers support etc (I am from Ottawa and the program is offered there).  I must admit that this whole thing has provided me with such a better "Food" relationship it is awesome and I feel much more in control now vs being controlled by food.

Also, just as an FYI as happy as I personally am to have lost weight after surgery, aside from the weight loss I have not had a migraine since surgery (used to get them daily), no more neck pain (used to be daily), I can sleep better, used to feel like I was choking before surgery, less joint pain and no more acid reflux which I had daily.

Perhaps start the process as see how it goes - you get counselling and meet with a dietician and the centers support you  and guide you on the journey.

Hope any of this helps!

Kelly

Thanks Kelly! That's helpful and even though I love my life and am happy...I do not like being bigger and certainly have limitations due to my size. Thanks for your suggestions and tips :)

Nikki

Hi Nikita,

I too was a "healthy fat person" when I started the process toward surgery.  I had many of the same doubts and concerns that you have.  But the overwhelming evidence of how positively  the surgery impacts your health won me over because it meant that I would never get diabetes and the other devastating long-term consequences of obesity. My doctor was always stunned at how healthy I was given my BMI (normal BP, no diabetes, etc). The only thing I had was mild sleep apnea.  But losing this weight is a preventative measure. You don't want to wait until you have other health concerns caused by the weight.

I had my surgery almost a month ago, and so far I've had zero complications, zero food sensitivities, and zero problems of any kind. In fact, I had got myself used to the worst case scenario before surgery, and now that I'm post-op, those worries seem silly to me in hindsight (though I acknowledge that all are not as lucky as I am in terms of complications, so it is important to mindfully consider the risks but also the very clear benefits when making your decision).

i wish you the very best in your journey!

Gina

Thanks Gina, nice to know I'm not alone :) I know that if I don't make some serious changes I will most certainly have weight related health issues. I really hope that my recovery and experience is as positive as yours! That's amazing and gives me great hope! I'm motivated to change and that's not a problem :) Thanks again!!

Nikki

If all you want to do is change your relationship with food, then doing something like the "Craving Change" workshop (free in many areas) or talking to a counselor may be enough. The surgery, and the process to get there, isn't easy. Overall, my experience was extremely positive, but I did end up having to get my gall bladder removed about 6 months after surgery (pre-existing issue exacerbated by rapid weight loss), and now I'm due for a gastroscopy at the end of February to see if the nausea attacks are due to an ulcer. 

As for the high divorce rate, from what I've read, there were usually problems in the relationship beforehand that just came out more/more to light afterwards. If you feel better about yourself, you may be less inclined to put up with the usual bull, so to speak.

The other issue is the "healthy fat person". Very few people can stay in that category forever. I think it was Canada AM a few weeks/months ago that had a report on the exact topic, and most of those people eventually developed issues due to their obesity. So, you may want to talk to your doctor about that, or take a look at http://www.nbcnews.com/health/diet-fitness/fat-fit-theory-ma inly-flops-long-term-study-n278836

Good luck, whatever your decision. I don't regret it, that's for sure, and my knees thank me :)

I agree about the 'healthy fat person"  I know what you mean by that....because I used to be one.  Not obese, just fat in my 20's, fatter in my 3-'s and obese in my 40's......but healthy as a horse ;****il I hit the age of 44!  Then all the BP, high cholesterol, pre-diabetes, etc happened.  It is now 4 years later and the pre-diabetes is now full blown type 2 diabetes, and is affecting many other areas in my body!  

I think it will always catch up to you, the damage the fat is doing to our bodies.  I am still pre-op and so incredibly excited to get this new tool and move on with my life, and actually be a 'healthy thin person'

HUGS 

I totally agree with you and that's what scares me most! I have seen my obese dad suffer from heart attack, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, limited mobility, high BP, high chol., etc etc etc. I know that will be me if I don't make a change ASAP. Thanks again and good luck on your journey too!

Hugs! Nikki :)