Spouse

I'm not sure how far along in the process you are, but if you are still going to appointments you could bring him along.  Then he can ask any question he needs to ask to be able to be more comfortable with the surgery.  More education may help him overcome the fear of the risks.

Cathy

I am one of the lucky ones in that I have the support of the people whom I love and who love me and my husband has seen me thin, obese and inbetween and I have never seen his care for me falter.  That being said, I do have people in my life who are not supportive, think it is the easy way out and the like.  I know it easier said than done, but if your reality is that you need this surgery to heal yourself, to have the best and healthiest life you can have, then those who love you will need to put your needs ahead of their fears.  There certainly are risks, and no one would chose this option if it wasn't something they had to do, but the risks of obesity are also high and they don't come with any ray of sunshine or new hope.  You do what you believe is right for you, whether it be yes or no is not for me or anyone to judge.  You deserve the chance at good health and happiness and I sincerely hope that your husband will take the journey as your friend and partner.  All the best

my husband too was very concerned about my having the surgery. He asked why at almost 60 I wanted to do this...I told him, because I wanted to live to 90!!!!

He asked me if I had done my research, YES.

Did I know anyone else who had had the surgery, YES.

His sister and her friend had filled his head with all kinds of B.S. because they knew people who had problems post surgery, or died...

I told him that I had done all my research, talked to many people who had the surgery. Talked to the health care professionals at the Bariatric Clinic. My surgeon was amazing...talked to me all about the risks...possibilities of problems,etc.

I told my husband he was very welcome to come to any of the pre-surgery appointments I had and ask all the questions he wanted. He said no...

I also told him that the risks of not having the surgery were probably more so than having it! If I followed Dr.'s orders, took care of myself, everything would be fine...I wasn't going to worry about every little thing that could happen...if I did...I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning! That's life!

Now, 4 weeks post-surgery, he is totally on board with me. He's become very positive and considerate of me. Asking me about what I'm going to eat during the day...I'm cooking meals for the family...am I going to be able to eat these things as well?

He's happy that I am now able to eat "real" food, even though it has to be pureed!

I really surprised him the other day when I tried on a hockey jersey he had given to my youngest son (30) and he couldn't fit it any more...he was wondering who he could give it to...I tried it on...and he said it fit me better than it did him! ;)

So, relax, be yourself, love yourself and him...even through all his insecurities! 

The adventure is amazing!

xxoo

Brenda