Found Out Real Weight....

So I was in the hospital last week because I had a migraine.  I was so tired of denying my weight or not knowing what I weigh for sure so I asked if they had something that they could weigh me on.  I found out my true weight and I cannot get past the fact that I have let myself get to this size.  I found out I weigh 604 lbs.  I thought I weighed 550 lbs at the most.  So needless to say I feel so scared hearing the number.  Scared because I know the weight limit they operate on is 600 lbs, not that I am far over that.  But still being over or even close to the 600 lbs makes me upset.  I have a LONG road ahead of me.  I am starting with calorie counting and walking.  Right now I cannot stand for longer than 5 min or walk farther than 10 meters. I have used food for comfort to deal with my emotions/past for far to long.  :(  

Hi Dreamer

Just writing it out here must have been difficult for you.  Look at the courage you have to publicly acknowledge and to decide to take the step to surgery.

If you can - start to cut back now.  Nothing drastic - 1/2 a sandwich instead of a full one.  Limit your nighttime eating even if you have to go to bed early to do so.  Try to start your day fueled with protein - eggs - greek yogurt etc.  If you can lose 10 % prior to your first appointment it will show them and you how determined you are.

If you are comfortable - join us on the What are you Eating thread each day.  Start logging what you eat now to get into the habit and to see in black and white what needs changing and what you can begin to work on now. 

Stay on OH...read back pages and pages so you are fully informed of your choices of surgery ( though the surgeon will likely decide what he/she is the healthiest and safest option for you). 

It may take up to a year yet before you have surgery.  Use this time to really inform yourself of the new life ahead.  Open yourself up to the possibility of health and well being.  Time will go quickly.

If you begin today - you can get the jump on your weight loss before your surgery - and make yourself a healthier candidate.  More importantly - you will give yourself confidence!

If you slip - get back on the horse immediately.  Focus.

PM me or anyone else on the board if you need to talk - Clean your cupboards out of unwanted garbage and see if you can start.  Remember - dont throw the towel in if you stumble - just pick yourself up and start again. 

I know I am making this sound easy - I truly know its not - but the mental lift you will get from beginning now will compensate you.  

Good luck and stay connected to this board.  You can do it

Hey , 

Well done to you for going there and facing it , then coming here and writing it all down ( I read your profile page ) ....and wow! I'm very sorry such a traumatic thing happened to you as a child . To face that with getting help and then sharing shows that you have come a long way in dealing with it . Which shows that you have strength within you . Keep using that strength th battle this demon of your weight also . This is the beginning of a new journey . And like Birdiegirl says , if you  can get just some off on your own from now until your appointment, I'm sure surgery is in your future . The surgeons at Humber all have an excellent reputation and it's a center of excellence . You will be in good hands there . 

 I just wanted to say that I admire your strength and I really hope you stay around and use the boards as a support , I know it's helped me immensely!  So much to learn and people to reach out to when you feel like you can't talk to the people around you . My hubby and family are great , but not morbidly obese , so really ...they don't truly understand how if feel when it comes to some things . 

I wish you well , and look forward to chatting with you and following your progress ! And one more thing ....The time will fly by really . I was referred August 2013 , had surgery two weeks ago . Some days / weeks felt like they dragged ...but looking back now , I  can't actually belive it's done ! And I'm on the other side of it ! I can remember my orientation like it was last week ! So hang in there chicky , it will all work out for you . Again , to mirror what the above poster says , it's all in the little things .....it's amazing what cutting out just little bits here and there can do . Set little goals each day of walking ...even if it's just adding another few steps a day . Increasing that will help . 

Good luck , you got this xx 

Jax xx

Hugs to you! You have taken a giant step forward in so many ways...you know that you have a bunch of cheerleaders on this board who will encourage you in this journey (and give you a kick in the keister (with best intentions), if needed).

You CAN do this!

Good job on facing it, I was the same way in denying and avoiding. Before you know it, your day will be here. You got this! You are going to rock it. 

 Congratulations today is the first day of the rest of your life. Just take it one healthy choice at a time one meal at a time. Don't worry about mistakes its not an all or nothing game. replace all snacks with healthy choices don't limit yourself or go hungry. For example, instead of chips buy a box of clementines and just have all you want. They are not calorie free but they are a healthier choice. Good Luck stay connected ask questions take it one day at a time.

You are a very courageous woman eloquent...and you have much support.  The HRRH team will do what they need to walk you and prepare you for this process, the OH boards 'have your back' you are in a safe place.  You are the foundation to that support, keep reaching outward and reaching inward to find the strength to keep on this life affirming journey.  

Your youth is on your side and it sounds like you are in the best place to set yourself up for success.

Keep on keeping on, one foot infront of the other.

You will have a long road ahead of you nut you are taking the first steps towards a new and healthier you. I wish you great success. This is a journey and it will have its pitfalls but we are here to support you along the way. Good luck to you

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words!  I am so nervous that they will deny me for surgery because I had a problem when I was younger really bad with binge eating and then fasting, I am not too bad now at the binging part.  I can pretty much control that, but I am human and sometimes it is really bad and I do have a binge episode.  My problem are sweets.  I can leave chips and salty stuff but sweets are my weakness and what I always turn to when I am upset. I am scared that they are going to deny me the surgery. I also have extreme depression and anxiety which keeps me from leaving my apartment for the most part.  I only leave if I have a medical appointment or to pick up my boyfriend from work.  I won't go into stores because of people making comments.  I read on here that someone got denied for the surgery based on BED and depression/anxiety so now I am so scared I will be denied too, I honestly feel as if this is my last avenue to lose weight. I just found out I have diabetes, I know if I don't have this surgery I will die.  I am living on borrowed time.  I wake up during the night with my heart pounding through my chest and my head throbbing.  I am on high blood pressure meds....I am so scared at this point.

Just be honest, and ensure you get all the help that is required to be successful through this journey. I highly doubt they will deny you. I know it may be hard right now, but be optimistic. It's going to work out for you. Xo