Support Lacking and relationships Changing

Has anyone noticed the people they have told in their life about the surgery, don't seem to want to hear or talk about it all that much? I find if I bring it up, I often am met with short replies, followed by a conversation change. 

And I am not consumed by it, nor do I mention it all that much to these few people I have told. I wonder if their silence, and lack of interest, is an indicator of disapproval, not sure. 

I may be naive in thinking the relationships in my life will not change after this, because I haven't even had the surgery yet, and some already feel like they have shifted.

OH WELL. Nothing can bring me down at this point! 

I have been feeling the same way. Some people who were super supportive of me at the start of my journey basically have looks of boredom or severe disinterest when talk of RNY comes up even if it isn't me bringing it up. But on the flipside of that coin I have people who before I rarely talked with but talk with a great deal more and are showing their support for me during this process.

Its a win some lose some kind of thing for me. 

I say if they are disapproving of you changing your life for the better than they don't deserve to be a part of your new life. 

Keep the good and ban the bad.

Margo

I am trying to not take it personally... Although hard. I take a deep breath, try not to be so sensitive (I am an overly sensitive type) and realize that maybe, just maybe, they have their own **** they are going through that I may not know about. We all have our own **** right? But yes, exactly what you stated, boredom, and severe disinterest is what I have been met with also. I do know I need some new, positive and supportive friends! 

I do think that this surgery is completely life changing and that understandably, it completely takes over our life.  It does consume us generally and to some we may become a bit like a broken record.    That's why it's a great thing if you have a support group to reach out to.  It only takes one other person to have a group.  Maybe you can find a way to find people in your area to support you. 

I agree, while I do think I am not consumed by it, and try to not bother those close to me by talking about it, I probably do at times... Lets face it, no one who is not going through this journey, is going to be as excited as us by lets say, getting an earlier appointment date.. Its not their journey, its mine. 

I'm glad for this site. I've already forged a few friendships. 

That's why we're here. Because even if the people in your daily life don't understand, we certainly do.

Come here to find us whenever you need a fix. It's definitely a journey we're all taking together and we, of all people, understand.

Thanks so much Jiliana! You're awesome!

I agree with Dawn ^^

Whether we realize it or not, preparing for/having/recovering from WLS is really all-consuming and I do think we tend to talk about it or even reference it casually a lot more than we realize.

With respect to relationships - I really think that sometimes we place WAY too many expectations on those around us. Yes, it is nice to receive a kind word of support. NO, it is not reasonable to expect that others, anyone, is going to become as consumed with this, or our health, as we are. No one else is going through it or will have to live with it post-op. I really think some people expect far too much of others.

While preparing for surgery, going through Optifast, the time right after surgery... these are not times to start re-evaluating relationships. Whether people realize it or not, they tend to be under stress (both positive and negative) at these times, very focused on their own goals, and emotionally sensitive. Over-analyzing relationships during times like these really isn't productive.

K.

Very well said Karen!!! My other half, who is and always will be my best friend kind of brought this realization to the forefront for me. It is an all-consuming journey and we are immersed in it rightfully so in order for us to make this a lifestyle and not just a diet or fleeting job. 

Jennifer

I agree. I think a lot will come to light after I go through the surgery... Right now, I just need to focus on ME, and being successful anyhow...

xo