I wonder...

Thanks Karen! It was hard to finally start the process, to come to terms that I did need this tool, and couldn't do it on my own. 

God luck to you, I'll be watching your journey on the boards, and wishing you success!

I went through the exact same thing.  Your life will change on many levels. You will be amazed....good luck, I know you'll do well.

I love hearing this! Coming form someone who has been through the process, congrats to you on your successes so far, and thank you for the positive words. I feel like I am going to do amazing! Why go into to it not being 200% optimistic :)

Thanks again

Your life will be different. However you can start now. I know walking and getting around can be hard at an obese weight. I have been there. But waiting for life to start could be a big let down for you. Love who you are now will make it easier after surgery with all the changes you will go through.

Think hard about why you are turning down these invites. Make some changes now that will help you later.

I wish you luck in your journey . Just do not wait to live until everything is right.

Thanks Pam, I am going to try to make some changes with accepting invites, and putting myself more outside my comfort zone. A lot of it does honestly have to do with the weight, I am not using it as an excuse, my friends like to go out and go from one place to the next every hour, walking all over the city, it is so hard for me to keep up. Last time I did, I ended up with a heat rash in between my thighs, I know, gross, but true. I've finally stepped outside my comfort zone and told them that I can't keep up, I asked them to let me know when they are partaking in something a bit more low key...

But I know I could do more...Its really hard to love yourself completely when you are morbidly obese, I think most all of us post op struggle with that.

Thanks for the well wishes.

I know what you are saying. I used to end up in so much pain from trying to keep up. I hope they come up with things you can all do

Wow. That is a fantastic summation of weight loss and its social degradation. Of that comes self identity issues and the cycle of, in my case, becoming disgusted with ones self.  

Thanks Wesley, I will be watching your journey on the boards, lets both try to not be so hard on ourselves! Good luck to you.

I know exactly how you feel. Even though overweight people are so often seen as the party animal, or the funny girl, our weight can be so isolating. The first year after I lost weight, I really hoped I would have an event come up so I'd have an excuse to buy a pretty dress. And then I remembered, I'd declined invitations to 3 of my friends' weddings, because I just couldn't face going to them and being so obese. I felt bad and I really wanted to support my friends (and for enquiring minds yes I did send a card and gift), but I just couldn't do it. I still feel bad about that. It's very isolating.

Don't forget how this feels later on! I know it's not a good feeling but use it to keep yourself in check later when you may need it.

LOL I swear I am not high, but that was like wow... A profound moment hearing you say that NorthernStar. I hate how I feel. I hate the feeling of carrying around this sluggishness. If there was anything that could begin to relieve me of this it would be moving forward, reversing what I have done to my body. I have been making changes with my exercise, back on the elliptical once again etc... All those feel good times I have had in the past, that always seemed to end in failure when my weight loss stopped dead at 22 lbs, stalled for a month and a half, cause I believe my metabolism is screwed due to a non-functioning pituitary... But anyways, it'd always just make me wanna give up, and jump back to food to comfort myself, and them back higher than ever. 

If I can bottle this feeling I feel 'right now'... This.... utter, distaste, for in the future it would be gold as in a reminder to myself of all the hard work I will be gone/going through and maintenance forward.