Therapist Wanted in the GTA

I am looking for a therapist to help deal with some of the issues I am having regarding WLS. Went to one yesterday and it really wasn't helpful. He couldn't comprehend how I could survive on how little I eat and his only advice was to see a NUT and to stay off the site. If anyone knows of a good one please let me know. Also is there a way tohave it covered by OHIP as yesterday cost me 200 dollars. 

The WLS centre have therapists who specialise in our surgery. I know I have found TWH great. It is also covered by OHIP

Thanks Pam. I am out of HRRH. Would I be able to see someone at TWH? HRRH hasn't been very helpful and I work and live downtown 

Your team at the hospital is obligated to maintain coverage - my wife is almost three years post op and talks with with Psychiatrist on a weekly basis to deal with her issues arising from her WLS , contact your hospital - your therapist that evaluated you as well as did your follow ups , that's part of the coverage 

Okay. I will give it another try at Humber. I only ever met with a social worker before surgery there. She wasn't very helpful. 

Zavs I am sorry you are having issues.  I send you great big hugs.  I was wondering if your employer had an Employee Assistance Plan?  Some do and I have used mine at my work and it was pretty good.  Also, have you thought about checking with your family doctor?  My family doctor counsels me on a  regular basis about life issues when I need it. 

I hope you find the help you need very soon!  I am sending good thoughts your way.  xo

you could call or visit the OHIP website which will tell you what sort of therapists are available to you. That is also a question that you can ask a potential therapist.

a therapist who uses CBT may be able to help with behavioural issues.

What kind of issues are you having?

I guess my main issues are fretting over what i am going to eat and then once I eat fretting that it was the wrong thing and did i stretch my stomach and so on.  i follow the plan religiously but i can't stop thinking like this. and even though i have lost over 100 pounds it is still hard to do things, although i feel good people on the street still seem to feel the need to make sure i know i am fat so it is getting hard to deal with. if i my eating/drinking schedule gets put off a bit i lose it like everything is going to fall apart. everything was fine till i was in a stall, and my dad told me i was eating too much ( an egg) it was the perfect storm for a breakdown i guess

From what you've said, it sounds like cognitive behavioural therapy will really help you. Take a look at the list of cognitive distortions that i've cut and pasted, and you may see that you're using some of these.
there's a book you can buy in just about any book store, called Mind Over Mood, that may really help. Something i've found very helpful as well is Beck's Diet Solutions (there's a "textbook" as well as a workbook, you can just use the workbook). Judith Beck's work is based on CBT, and its very helpful if you APPLY the principles she talks about.

This is what i've gotten out of what you've said

"if i my eating/drinking schedule gets put off a bit i lose it like everything is going to fall apart." This is clearly "black or white" thinking, one of the cognitive distortions listed below.

fretting over what i am going to eat and then once I eat fretting that it was the wrong thing - that's filtering. you're completely ignoring that you may have done it right, only focusing on what you may have done wrong.

You say "i can't stop thinking like this". You're taking away your own power to change your thinking. You are the ONLY one who IS capable of changing your thinking. And you ARE capable of doing so. You're just telling yourself that you aren't capable.

You need to do a LOT of self work. Take yourself seriously. Recognize your power, and use it.

Monica

Cognitive Distortions

Aaron Beck first proposed the theory behind cognitive distortions and David Burns was responsible for popularizing it with common names and examples for the distortions.

1. Filtering.

We take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. For instance, a person may pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it exclusively so that their vision of reality becomes darkened or distorted.

2. Polarized Thinking (or “Black and White” Thinking).

In polarized thinking, things are either “black-or-white.” We have to be perfect or we’re a failure — there is no middle ground. You place people or situations in “either/or” categories, with no shades of gray or allowing for the complexity of most people and situations. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

3. Overgeneralization.

In this cognitive distortion, we come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or a single piece of evidence. If something bad happens only once, we expect it to happen over and over again. A person may see a single, unpleasant event as part of a never-ending pattern of defeat.

4. Jumping to Conclusions.

Without individuals saying so, we know what they are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, we are able to determine how people are feeling toward us.

For example, a person may conclude that someone is reacting negatively toward them but doesn’t actually bother to find out if they are correct. Another example is a person may anticipate that things will turn out badly, and will feel convinced that their prediction is already an established fact.

5. Catastrophizing.

We expect disaster to strike, no matter what. This is also referred to as “magnifying or minimizing.” We hear about a problem and use what if questions (e.g., “What if tragedy strikes?” “What if it happens to me?”).

For example, a person might exaggerate the importance of insignificant events (such as their mistake, or someone else’s achievement). Or they may inappropriately shrink the magnitude of significant events until they appear tiny (for example, a person’s own desirable qualities or someone else’s imperfections).

With practice, you can learn to answer each of these cognitive distortions.

6. Personalization.

Personalization is a distortion where a person believes that everything others do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction to the person. We also compare ourselves to others trying to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc.

A person engaging in personalization may also see themselves as the cause of some unhealthy external event that they were not responsible for. For example, “We were late to the dinner party and caused the hostess to overcook the meal. If I had only pushed my husband to leave on time, this wouldn’t have happened.”

7. Control Fallacies.

If we feel externally controlled, we see ourselves as helpless a victim of fate. For example, “I can’t help it if the quality of the work is poor, my boss demanded I work overtime on it.” The fallacy of internal control has us assuming responsibility for the pain and happiness of everyone around us. For example, “Why aren’t you happy? Is it because of something I did?”

8. Fallacy of Fairness.

We feel resentful because we think we know what is fair, but other people won’t agree with us. As our parents tell us when we’re growing up and something doesn’t go our way, “Life isn’t always fair.” People who go through life applying a measuring ruler against every situation judging its “fairness” will often feel badly and negative because of it. Because life isn’t “fair” — things will not always work out in your favor, even when you think they should.

9. Blaming.

We hold other people responsible for our pain, or take the other track and blame ourselves for every problem. For example, “Stop making me feel bad about myself!” Nobody can “make” us feel any particular way — only we have control over our own emotions and emotional reactions.

10. Shoulds.

We have a list of ironclad rules about how others and we should behave. People who break the rules make us angry, and we feel guilty when we violate these rules. A person may often believe they are trying to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn’ts, as if they have to be punished before they can do anything.

For example, “I really should exercise. I shouldn’t be so lazy.” Musts and oughts are also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When a person directs should statements toward others, they often feel anger, frustration and resentment.

11. Emotional Reasoning.

We believe that what we feel must be true automatically. If we feel stupid and boring, then we must be stupid and boring. You assume that your unhealthy emotions reflect he way things really are — “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

12. Fallacy of Change.

We expect that other people will change to suit us if we just pressure or cajole them enough. We need to change people because our hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them.

13. Global Labeling.

We generalize one or two qualities into a negative global judgment. These are extreme forms of generalizing, and are also referred to as “labeling” and “mislabeling.” Instead of describing an error in context of a specific situation, a person will attach an unhealthy label to themselves.

For example, they may say, “I’m a loser” in a situation where they failed at a specific task. When someone else’s behavior rubs a person the wrong way, they may attach an unhealthy label to him, such as “He’s a real jerk.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded. For example, instead of saying someone drops her children off at daycare every day, a person who is mislabeling might say that “she abandons her children to strangers.”

14. Always Being Right.

We are continually on trial to prove that our opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and we will go to any length to demonstrate our rightness. For example, “I don’t care how badly arguing with me makes you feel, I’m going to win this argument no matter what because I’m right.” Being right often is more important than the feelings of others around a person who engages in this cognitive distortion, even loved ones.

15. Heaven’s Reward Fallacy.

We expect our sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if someone is keeping score. We feel bitter when the reward doesn’t come.

hello?