Dealing with extreme emotions

Yesterday was a huge emotional low for me for many reasons.  Can't remember the last time I felt that emotionally awful, and when I get in that panicked frame of mind I do not think clearly and turn to food.  So yesterday's dinner was not healthy and has left me questioning many things.  I had this overwhelming feeling that the surgery will not help me and that I would fail at keeping the weight off like every other attempt I have made. Just really yucky overwhelming feelings that I could not shake. If this emotional low happened after surgery what would I do?  I guess my question is whether food is still soothing after surgery in the same way?  Or is it just a fuel and nothing more?  Normally I used cbt, meditation, journaling, etc. to deal with feelings so this was a rare exception that got me thinking and worrying.  What do you do when you feel this way post op?  Can food still soothe even though you are eating less? If so, what do you find most soothing? Is anyone else scared of the same?

The brain doesn't change post surgery....unfortunately!.....food will still offer temporary solace....and then the guilt and feelings will return......a big "HOWEVER" though......your new tool will only allow so much food to be consumed.....and the great feelings of health will hopefully make the stress eating change into exercise....or some other activity to ease the moment

Zizzler I think you have done so well pre-surgery.....yes you will likely have moments like this post surgery....but I do suspect you will be able to handle it better.....your habits should be ingrained a few months post op.....you will still have to find a way to get back on the horse after using food to soothe....and I think you will find that your binge will be much less serious and shorter in duration

Hope you feel better today.....keep the faith....you truly are the best at being mindful pre-surgery that I have seen on this board in 5 years

Thank you for your kind words, they gave me such a boost of confidence this morning :0)  I am feeling better, not 100% but lots better.  A good night's sleep can work wonders and I think my brain worked some stuff out as I feel so much calmer today.  You are so helpful to so many people on here and I want you to know that I really appreciate your dedication and efforts to help people.  It is people like you that make this board such a great source of support. 

Zizzler, I can completely relate to what you're saying. If only they could operate on your brain at the same time they operate on your gut. It sounds to me like you've got excellent strategies in place already, but I will say this: I know the extreme emotional low that leads to extreme anxiety. You can almost get to the panic point when you can't find a way to soothe yourself and relieve some of the pressure it causes.  You have a couple of wonderful things on your side though - surgery will prevent your ability to totally overdo it with food simply due to your new anatomy and you seem very self-aware of what is happening to you. The down side to the new anatomy is that the solace you may find in food now may not be quenched with your limited ability to eat. The upside is that you already have strategies in place to help you deal with it.

For myself, I use a lot of self-talk when it happens. I don't (luckily) turn to food as my brain sees food to definitely be enjoyed, but mostly as fuel for my body. I do a lot of deep breathing and talk myself through it (yeah, it actually works), reminding myself that it is anxiety, my feelings are okay and will pass - maybe not this moment, hour, or even day, but they WILL pass and I WILL have the strength to wait them out. I have a lot of talks with myself - I'm sure my cat thinks I'm nuts but hey, so is he.

Let yourself feel and accept yourself for feeling, knowing that it will pass and that you're strong enough to make it happen. Post ANYTIME about this - you're not alone!

Best,

K.

Thank you for posting this. I really like your point about letting yourself feel and accept those feelings and letting them pass.  Usually I can do this but then there are times like yesterday where I get so panicked all my strategies seem to fly out the door.  I find writing out my feelings helps me to see how hard I am being on myself.  I really try to replace those thoughts with what I would tell a friend, and thus be a good friend to myself.  CBT has been the most useful tool to me in my life and I am thankful for it every day.  I guess what I find hard to accept is that sometimes nothing  works and you just have to let it run its course. Glad to hear I am not alone in this struggle.

Zizzler:

I agree with both Barb and Karen and I just wanted to add that as your weight decreases (and it will) you will feel more able to say "frig it" to your food feelings, pick up your ipod and go for a walk or hit the gym.  Both of these probably sound foreign to you at this point but it really does happen.  The only food in your pocket then is probably a protein bar.

As they said there is no surgery on our brains but I have found that the surgery changes our outlooks and makes the world a more "positive place".

Laurie

Hi Laurie,  That is what I am hoping will happen and look forward to having the ability to do more physically.  I have severe hormonal/endocrine problems and I just hope they get better too with surgery too. I think feeling some control over my weight will hopefully make a difference in my outlook for the future.  thank you for posting this, I really appreciate it.

Ditto what everyone has already said!

I have struggled with those same feelings pre op and you are not alone. That emotional eating leads to such a cruel cycle of eating and guilt and I have been stuck there for much of my adult life. The surgery doesn't fix everything but it has made me so much stronger to overcome those temptations and it will for you too. There have been some down times that I have "indulged" a little more than I should have but the soothing feeling I used to get from that kind of behavior is overshadowed by how good it feels to be in control of my eating habits and lifestyle now. I am more prepared for those down times now with healthier options with food, support people, and just the awareness of how far I have come and where self sabotage will bring me.

You will succeed too!  The support here is amazing and is always here for you during those harder parts of our journey.

Take care, Tara

Thank you Tara!

even at 5 years post-op I still have the occasional emotional eating

..trick is to remember what you wne through how WONDERFUL you feel and how great it is to fit into a booth at a resturaunt, not having to use a seat belt extender on an airplane, not be winded when walking up 3 flights of stairs and overall how GREAT life is now that you are 90, 100+ lbs lighter..not to mention the obvious health benefits

when you have been an overeater for most of your life or even if it's just been 10, 5 years, those patterns are difficult to break,,some have little of no issues, some have more, the trick is to keep yourself in check and not totally go off the rails..having a few photos around your house from when you were larger or having a pair of your (fat) pants in your closet is also a good motivation.