Debating Bypass Surgery...Have a few questions, Please help! :)

Hello everyone!

First I want to congratulate you all for any success or strives you have made  for your health!

I am a 19 year old female who is...extremely....obese. Approx 440 pounds (i'm so embarrassed to even type this). 

I have tried COUNTLESS diets, and all have either failed or I've gained the weight back.

I'm at my wits end and have constantly gone back and forth with the idea of Gastric Bypass at the Ottawa Civic Hospital. I have no fears of the changes that will come from it, my only fear is death. 

I understand that there are chances of death with every surgery, 1/200 or 1/300, but is that chance lessened with age or health (I have no known medical issues). 

If I got the surgery, since i'm young and my skin has more elasticity, will I need to get skin removal or anything similar?

How long will it take me to get a date?

Any warnings or tips that could be given?

My appointment to tell the DR I want surgery is the 1st of May, with Dr.Dent.
That being said, any questions I should know to ask him? 
Has anyone had Dr.Dent? Is he good? Any compliments or complaints?

Sorry for all the blabbing, I'd REALLY appreciate any help given.

Thank you so much!

Amanda

hey Amanda... hugs. this must be so difficult for you. No apologies necessary!!!

If I got the surgery, since i'm young and my skin has more elasticity, will I need to get skin removal or anything similar?
skin is very individual. Some people have really stretchy skin, some do not. I'm nearly 59, and was fat for as long as you've been alive, so my situation is a bit different. In my experience, if you've got stretch marks, that skin is damaged, and will not go back to normal. YOu may need surgery to remove it, but only time will tell.

How long will it take me to get a date?

Again, this is very individual. One thing i need to caution you about, and you need to listen to, is not becoming a tramp (sorry if that sounds blunt, i'm talking to you the same way i'd talk to my own daughters, who are 22). With the weight loss, you'll get a lot more male attention than you've ever had before, and that can be really overwhelming. I've seen adult women who cannot handle the increased attention, and I don't know your maturity level. Sex is sex is sex. It does not mean love. It does not mean being appreciated and wanted for who you are. Guys will do and say anything to have sex. they're pigs, generally speaking (sorry guys). Some are really nice, but if you've not had a lot of male attention, its very difficult to sort out the nice guys from the jerks.

Any warnings or tips that could be given?

You've seen my biggest warning. My other wanings and tips are to change your lifestyle. Be more active. Treat food as a necessity, not as a mood elevator, a treat, not anything else but fuel.
Love yourself for who you are. If you hate yourself now, you won't love yourself just because you're thinner. Loving yourself comes from within. Find yourself a good therapist, preferably someone who does cognitive behavioural therapy.

this surgery fixes your innards, it DOES NOT fix your head. your issues with food are likely way deeper than just really liking poutine a whole lot. I know that mine stemmed from feelings of inadequacy.

Being thin does not make you a better person. you are who you are.

Hugs.
Mon

Monica

I love your post but regarding the date she may have meant date for surgery but not sure.

Lynn

my mind is in the gutter, as usual. lol

Hello Mon!

Thank you for your reply! 

I also thank you for your blunt answer! 

"Love yourself for who you are"
I have been working on this since elementary school, and although most people believe weight won't change how one looks at themselves, I truly believe that my weight is my biggest (pun intended) issue.

Thank you once more!!

Hugs

Amanda

i wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide to do. You seem like a lovely young lady, and you deserve to be as healthy as possible.

Oh, yes, in my advice, commit to following whatever guidlelines that are set, with regard to vitamins, etc.

Monica.. I read that as wondering how long for a surgery date!! Maybe she really meant date? Either way, best of luck in both departments! :)

you know me, Hanneli, my mind is in the gutter...

I very much agree with Monica.  She has good advice and has responded to your question re:  skin.  I wouldn't worry so much about the skin issue right now...that can be dealt with if need be a bit later.  It's your health that you have to focus on!  I wish I had had the surgery at a much younger age...I considered it about 12 years ago, but put it off thinking I would try it on my own...again!  And I failed, and gained even more weight.

By the time I had the surgery (August 2012), I was 40 years old and I weighed 416 lbs.  I was relatively healthy (though that wouldn't have lasted for long), but the joint pain was terrible.  I was heading to the handicapped list -- without a doubt.  This was my reason for having the surgery!  It also meant massive changes in my behaviour, how I approached food, how I copped with stress and emotion (no more stress/emotional eating for me), and adding in a tons of activity and exercise.

I have lost 242 lbs and am now at a normal bmi.  This is a first in my life, and I celebrate it every day.  And I do things today, like going for a 5km run, because it's good for me, and frankly, because I can -- and that is very enjoyable!

Now there are risks to the surgery.  Everyone must weigh those risks for themselves vs. the potential benefits.  That is a decision for you to make.  For me, it was lifesaving and gave me so much in return.

I am in Ottawa.  Dr. Dent oversees the Weight Management clinic.  Very nice and easy to talk to.  He does not do the surgeries.  But you are in good hands.  Good luck with the process.  Keep reading everything you can on the surgery and the changes that will be necessary.  And don't be scared to post your questions here.  There's a wealth of information to be had from all these great folks on this board.  I read the forum every day even though I'm 20 months post-surgery (even though I don't necessarily contribute every day).

Good luck with your decision!

DD

Congratulations, I am so happy to hear that!

I am totally ready to make the change, and my health is extremely important to me since I want to live a long time and have a family.

Thank you so much for your reply!

Take care!