Trying to break bad

I`m sorry about the long post .....

I am almost - well I am 3 yrs post op as of next week and I have been getting into some bad habits over the last few months.  I wish my pouch was still shiny and new and easily satiated and feeling no hunger.  

I have been pretty much at the same weight for the last 3 yrs, over the last few months I have gained 10 pounds and i`m freaking out.  I know 10 doesnt seem like much, especially after 3 yrs, but i`m not liking the number on the scale.  My jeans are feeling way more snug.  I know it should be about how i feel, or how i feel i look and not so much the number, but it`s there ever morning reminding me.  Sometimes when I look in the mirror I like the shape and size of my body, but then I remember the number and I feel like crap. 

I have ZERO motivation to excersise, my brain keeps saying lets go, move do something, walk, bike, just move, but my body has no steam.  I used to go to the gym several times a week after my first year.  I`m able to tolerate junk food to a degree, chips chocolate, pop with lots of ice, some pastries, you see where i`m going with this, desserts.  Pizza, poutine, restaurant food but not all.  It`s weird how I can stay away from certain foods that make me dump, but some I seem to still be willing to suffer the consequences. 

I`ve started using laxatives more often.  The last 2 wks have been a rough go in my personal life and I was barely eating or drinking, my pouch felt like it did when I first had surgery.  I lost those 10 pounds and was feeling encouraged - I know it`s not the healthiest or best way, but man did it feel good.  And now that things are balancing out I`ve gained back 5 pounds and I`m at the end and not sure what to do.  I need a swift quick in the butt and I wish my brain and my body would just come to a concensus.

I`m sorry to ramble on so long, just frustrated and wanted to put this in the universe and not something I feel comfy sharing on any other platform.

Hope your journey is going well.

Hey, on the positive side, you've caught the issue early. Is there someone you can talk to for therapy? How about hiring a personal trainer for a little while? Nothing like spending money to give you motivation to show at the gym. Works for me. Or having a workout buddy?

Have you had a good check up with blood work?  Could be something behind the lack of steam.

Michelle

Been there, done that and have about ten t-shirts to prove it. Lol

Welcome to long term life.  

I'll be honest, I feel that in some ways the "high" of the first year sets us up for the downer of reality long-term.  We expect the hunger not to be there.   We expect our portions to stay the same. We expect to be able to keep up the powerful momentum and motivation.  We expect huge numbers and quick loss. 

Then BOOM!  We are back to real life where hunger returns, motivation wanes, old habits creep back and BAM! The numbers no longer go down.. And they start to creep up. 

Then that anxiety comes back and we think "am I going back!?"   Worry, panic etc set in.  

The thing that makes you successful is that you're lookin at the scale and you're working out a plan.  It's gonna be a battle til the day you die I think.  As long as you keep up the fight things will be good. 

I know.  I'm like you every day.  I'm 7.5 years out and still playing with the same ten pounds that I've been workin on for years.  It was up to 27 and I had to give my head a serious shake. 

Its a matter of finding what works for you.  What will it be? Therapy, weigh****chers, support group, the daily thread here, support group, contacting the bariatric centre!?  What will work for you?  

Talk to people find support.  See my long timers group in my signature if you care to join. This is a head battle long term.  Much more of it had to do with our brain than our body. Good luck to you!

dawn

I'm newer than you so I don't know what it's like at 3 years out, but I've been having some challenges too, although no regain yet since I think I'm probably still malabsorbing pretty well. 

Does your centre offer CBT? I'm finding it really helpful, and can't recommend it enough.

I'm wondering whether the Trans Canada Challenge might help you feel more motivated to exercise?  Or perhaps a FitBit or some other tracking device that folks use both individually and socially with others?

I feel like I want to copy and print Diminishing dawn's post as that is the best advice/info you can ever hear. We have been given a tool, not a magical cure. it is up to us how we use that tool. I am a year out Gastric Sleeve and the honeymoon is definitely over. Facing the same demons as yourself. Wishing you luck on your journey.