Supporting those on opti

I cheated.  I could make a lot of excuses of why I did, but I wont.  The only thing I have to say is I was very upset that I couldn't come to this board and talk openly about the difficulty, the extreme stress, the torture and the physical pain food withdrawl effects on some of us.  I felt completly alone during my whole three weeks and I hated myself.  On this board I read that I wasn't dedicated enough, that I didn't deserve surgery.  Fantastic, I'm already hating myself and I get attacked here too.  No one knows my story, how I got here.  I am/was a food addict.  Quitting smoking was WAY easier then Opti, for me.  I also felt I could not speak to TWH and I even lied, for the first time ever, to my boyfriend.  We need to learn how to supprt each other more especially when we fall.  Why are you cheating? What's happening in your life? Do you need a friend to talk to?  Message me and I will give you my phone number.  I never want anyone to feel alone like that again.  I'm seriously challenging the board to be kinder and offer support, not critisism.  We get enough of that from everywhere else.  Please, I almost killed myself before surgery.  That's not right.  When you know better, you do better.

I was looking at your past posts, and I didn't see any post from you asking for support, nor did I see anyone tell you that you didn't deserve this surgery, or that you were not dedicated. No one attacked you. Everyone was quite nice. If you are hating yourself then I suggest councilling especially if you thought of suicide. Frankly if you were having suicidal thoughts maybe it was not the time for your surgery. You need to get all your ducks in a row before surgery. But this a forum, no one knows any ones story unless we are told. But you come on asking for advise you will get it, and sometimes the truth will hurt. You are not hurting us by cheating you are only hurting yourself. If you cheat through Optifast, and you want a hug let us know but on here you get the truth and sometimes the truth hurts. But this surgey helps you loose weight, but it does not help mental problems such as contemplating suicide. Please get help.

naths_toronto, thank you for your post ,for your honesty and courage.  To anyone that is feeling  the need to judge you , I would simply like to remind them we are all in the same boat. If giving up food was easy none of us would require this procedure. It almost seem funny to me  some one with a wieght or  food issue feels like they can judge another person for food wieght issues , it is like the pot calling the kettle black.  Thank you for your offer of support to others. I hope you are in a better place now ,but if not I am here.

Just wanted to say that I think you are incredibly brave for posting this. It is difficult to admit a struggle but I commend you for being honest with yourself and with this board, as a pre-op I find it extremely helpful.
You must have worked very hard to get to where you are, I know Ontario does not have the easiest WLS process. The process encourages a lot of self exploration and discovery - not an easy thing to do. Please, if you are having any suicidal ideolations seek help immediately. If notm I strongly suggest seeking support regardless as you do not want to get to that place again and this journey is one Hell of a rollercoaster - might as well be as mentally healthy as possible while you are working on your physical health.
Best of luck to you and please know you are not alone.

Thank You for posting this. 

I too was struggling as you can probably see from my post "Time to Fess".  I thought I would post it as a light hearted look at cheating but the opposite has happened.  I have definitely learned my lesson about posting on this forum. 

Please keep up your hard workl You can do it!!!!!

I am sorry you are having problems with opti. I hope you are getting medical support for your food issues. Many look at surgery as an end goal for fixing their problems. It is really not. If you have food issues now you will have then after surgery. You can go off your diet after surgery just as easily as before. I know you have gone through a lot to get to the point you re at but perhaps you need to reflect if surgery is right for you right now.

People on here are supportive. Even if they do not tell you what you want to hear it is support. We all struggled through opti. Some people actually came to like it. I was not one of them. I had a reaction to the sweeteners and could only flavour it with coffee crystals. I still had the trots with it. But I looked at it as a time to get myself ready physically and mentally.

I wish you luck. If you want hand holding and people to say there there say so. Otherwise you are going to get honest replies that are meant to help you

Well put Pam.

This is a public forum, people do feel bad or empathize with you. However, if you put it out there, you're subjecting yourself to a lot of opinions.

I cheated and frankly I don't feel a bit bad! What did I eat....... Lean protein and dill pickles! Life is difficult and trying to cook and watch my kids and husband eat in front of me has been the most difficult thing I have ever done! Did I turn to the pizza, sweets and McDonalds that I normally would have..... Absolutely not! I didn't cheat everyday but if it meant staying sane and still remaining in ketosis then I was ok with that. I understand the whole point of opti but think that it is really difficult to stay on track realistically! Kudos to those of you that stick to it. But your right at some point over the last few days I did read a post that implied that those of us that cheat shouldn't deserve the surgery or something along those lines and we are setting ourselves up to fail in the future. Well maybe that's true. But learning to make good choices is all part of the learning process. If you truly are or we're contemplating suicide during this process then at some point your centre is failing you. They should be non-judgemental and you should be comfortable talking to them about how you feel.  You are not alone! We are all here to listen and support each other and if you feel members are judging it is often difficult to decipher people's tone through text and emails. We are all here to support and offer advice, not judge! Hope things are better for you, but please contact your centre or your local support group for help. After all food is our addiction and what other addiction do you know of that people have that they still need to consume the thing there addicted to. #weareheretohelp 

well said Girlie !

I am truly sorry you are felling this way. We are all human and in no way perfect. Unfortunately on any type of open forum you will find that there are some "negative nellies" or those who "tell it like it is", which is NOT always the best way to be supportive. As other posters have said, if it was easy to give up food none of us would be looking into this very serious surgical procedure. You are not a failure because you "cheated" (hate that term). You are not alone in your struggle, but of course at the time when you are debating putting food in your mouth when you are meant to be following this liquid diet,  you have never been so alone in your life. Please do not be so hard on yourself. Self talk can be so defeatist. For the most part we would never talk to others the way we talk to ourselves. Forgive yourself and move on, with the knowlege you carry forward from this experience. I wish you every success. And suggest that you ignore any posts initimating that some people are more "deserving" of this surgery than others. That is simply not the truth.

If you would like to talk, please add me as a friend and I will give you my home phone number and my email address and perhaps we could connect. I thank you for your post and your honesty. I am starting the Optifast at the end of the month and quite frankly I am more worried about it than the surgery itself! Take care of you. (HUGS)