When there's nothing to eat

I hope that it was just ignorance as to what you can and cannot eat. They may think that you can eat some of those things but only in smaller portions.

That being said, it is the role of a good hostess (and good friend) to make their guests feel as welcome and comfortable as possible. So many people have dietary restrictions these days. If I knew someone was coming to my house who only ate Kosher, Halal, gluten-free, vegan, etc., I would let them know beforehand what I was serving and ask them what I could pick up for them. If they told me they'd bring their own food I wouldn't be offended.

If you want to save these friendships I would recommend sitting down with them individually and telling them about the surgery and what lifestyle changes you've made and continue to make. I'd explain how sick you can get if you eat certain foods, and that eating your own food isn't meant as a slight or judgement of them or the way they eat -- it's simply the way you need to live now. Sadly, if they can't understand and support you and your efforts it may be time to find new friends that do.

Hi Katie, Well I feel the same as the other posters.

We have vegetarian family and when they are coming, we always ensure there is vegetarian food available. It seems you are facing the dreaed "jealosy" issues I worry about. I don't think you offended them, just made them nervous with your committment to your new lifestyle and perhaps their own insecurities are mounting in the face of that.  Either they support you or they don't, and be careful at others' passive attempts to sabatage your success. Goodluck!

Agree with the others.  Time to explain to these friends that you just physically can't eat that stuff and you can't go without food for a long time, so you will have to either bring your own food or not go out with them at all.

And unfortunately, that might eventually mean that it's time to make some new friends if they can't understand that.  Which sucks if these friends are people you've had forever, but people have to understand that health concerns take priority over eating crap.

Hi Katie. I don't think you should get new friends. You should just explain your situation, that you had the surgery and you mus****ch what you eat. If they understand, good. If not, their loss.

However I too think it's kinda stupid to serve junk food for a birthday party. Some snacks are okay. But to serve junk food only...that's not a way to go. And good for you that you brought your own food.

When you explain it to your friends, and they are still offended...that they are being silly, not to say even stupid.

Shocking!!..you need new friends..or better yet "busy nights"..I think they do not care too hoots about your wellbeing.

 

....Katie.....good for you for having the courage to stick to your guns when all were firing at you.......it IS all about you right now.....

 

hopefully, if they are true friends, they will understand ,  if not, I agree with the others that you need to find new healthy friends........

When I have been invited to friends house I make sure I tell them if there is food could they please have a veggie tray or something I can eat. I would also have taken the topping off the pizza which I do all the time and eat them and I bring a protein bar or something in my bag just in case.

If they got offended oh well too bad for them they should have considered you and asked what you can eat.

 

 

I agree with the majority here...you need new friends. If any cared they would have asked why you cannot eat what is there; perhaps take interest in this lifestyle change you're making. That's what real friends do.

Sound like jealous petty school girls to me.

I am getting pressure from one friend in particular to drink (I knew this would be an issue with her, she doesn't know I've had surgery). I've told her I am focusing on weightloss and cannot afford to take on calories from alcohol - so far she's backed off but the friendship has changed - oh well!

In my community it is common to bring a dish if the gathering is at someone's home or cottage.

I don't think this has to be a throw the baby out with the bath water situation.  Your friends may not have really thought about your situation and so I would give them a little more forgiveness on this one. 

For situations like this, I'd bring a dish to share and that way I would not offend the hostess and everyone could partake if they'd like.  Or you can also bring up your dietary needs and inquire ahead of time. Or I often brought along a protein shake and avoided food all together.  I think often friends just don't understand how strict our needs can be. 

I agree with Christ42 but I would add this:

1. Explain the situation

2. Tell them that it's not OK to have only crap food at the party!

3. Appologise if you offended anybody (for their own ego)

4. If they understand, good. If not, find new friends.

 

You're on a way to succeed and you don't need people around you who don't understand you and don't support you. That's my oppinion!