Reaching out ?? and feeling alone...

Hi Everyone,

I start Opti tomorrow and although I know I am ready for this, I feel so alone. I'm not a depressive person, I love life, I love to laugh, I love good times, but have been struggling as of late. I'm reaching out to people as best as I can, including my own family but  everyone is too busy to hear me out or have issues of their own. I get that and have no qualms about it, that's just life:-) ..my mom was my biggest supporter and she passed away 10 months ago and I would give my right arm to talk to her, she was such a great listener and always entertained me when I needed to just be heard. When I try to talk to my fiance about my fears, nerves and anxiety, he just says, you'll be ok. I love him to pieces, but REALLY....that's all ya got??? LOL. Even though I'm not really alone, it feels that way...as someone posted earlier....I feel like I'm having to figure out how I will walk away from "what was" and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what that's going to look like in one day. Thankfully, I know and understand how adaptable and flexible the human mind and spirit is...but right now at this moment, I feel alone and to be truthful a bit scared. As a woman (lol) I feel this undeniable urge to talk it out but nobody wants to do that LOL....oh poor me (yes I know) Lol.

Any how, as I said I start opti tomorrow and for the past week or more, I have lost my appetite, I have no desire for food at all, not interested in eating this and that for the last time or anything...in fact whatever I do eat, goes right through me (my nerves) (TMI). Maybe this is a reality check, that in fact this journey is mine and mine only ...I don't know...I guess I will start trying harder to channel my nerves into a more positive head space, because underneath it all....I am excited and I am ready.

Thanks for hearing me out:-)

Lee-Ann

Good luck Lee-Ann!!  The lack of support could come from the lack of knowledge.  This is why you have OH to help you through these tough times.  You will do amazing.  Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life and you will not regret this.  It is the best thing I ever did and only wish I had done it sooner.  All the best with opti and then your surgery!!

Hi Lee-Ann,

 

I started my Optifast today and although I do feel I have great support through family and friends I believe the people *****ally understand are the people who have and are going through this.  You will be fine and you have help though this website and other support groups.

Try to find a group in your area - sharing is great.

As someone said, look for a support group/coffee night in your area.  That will help with the person to person talk.   It's hard for those around us to really understand what we are going through, unless they have been there.  You are about to have a huge change in your life, and it's normal to feel scared.  Whether it's surgery, new relationship, moving, new job, whatever, it's the unknown that really puts us through the ringer.

We all have our times when we feel we are going through something big all alone.  Reality is, your not alone.  I doubt that there is a problem out there that someone in here hasn't faced.  You may feel that your Mom isn't around for you, but she's still watching you and still supporting you.  She'll be with you all the way through this.

It hasn't been mentioned much lately (that I've seen) but there used to be people who were willing to be Angels for others.  An Angel is someone that you feel close to on the site.  Someone to ask questions of, to talk to or just to be there when you need someone to listen.  An Angel will also keep in contact you while you are in the hospital and let the rest of us know how you are doing.  Maybe if there is someone that you've found closer to on this site, you can ask them to be your angel.  Usually this person is in the same area you are in, but it doesn't have to be.  With text, email and phones, distance isn't that far anywhere any more.

I wish you luck on your journey, it may not be easy, but is worth it.  Enjoy Optifast!

Cathy

Hi Lee-Ann

You're not alone! You have many people here on this board that care about how you do! You are almost there! I know you will do great and I wish all the best for you!

Yes, good advice above, find your local wls group...

Hey Lee Ann. You are correct when you say that this journey is yours and yours alone, this path is yours to walk Someone else said it already, but the people who know best what you're going through are the people who have been there before. Your peeps on this Board are great supports. If you can find a face to face support group in your area, that would be awesome, or even find someone else in your area who you could meet for a (decaf) coffee and a walk.

To a lot of people, this is "just" surgery, and yes, if that's all it is, then, yes, your fiancee is right, you'll be fine. What "is" going to be, is unimaginable right now, and that's hella scary.

You seem like a girl who's got her head on straight. Find someone to talk to tho, that will help immensely. Where ya from?

 

Mon

Hi Lee-Ann,

This entire process (and weight loss in general) can be difficult for people like us to wrap our heads around, so I can only imagine what a foreign concept it must be for those who aren't in our extra-wide shoes to understand. And you're right, most people are preoccupied with their own dramas!

Your mom sounds like she was a pretty cool lady. Like Einstein said, "Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another." I have no doubt that she's still out there somewhere, probably cheering you on and listening more than ever. Keep talking to her (just not in public unless you have a Bluetooth in your ear... it would suck to end up in the Psych ward this late in the game).

As others have mentioned, you also have us!!! Try to get out to a group meeting or keep posting. We've got your back!

my hubby's famous line is 'keep your chin up' LOL, so at least you didn't get that!

and like you, the week before i didn't want to eat anything. i even asked hubby to get me my 'last supper' (indian food, because i didn't know if i would be able to eat it again) and even that, i didn't want to eat.

here's to hoping you find what you need through OH and your local support group.

Thanks so much guys for taking the time to respond. Your messages were touching and a helpful reminder.
Mon: I'm outside ottawa.
Catw: I know abt local support groups but like urself I'm rural ottawa not far from you actually. Most of the meetings mean an hour trip back in town so I usually opt out especially after driving 4 hrs a day to get to and from work lol. Wknds are better for me so I will watch out for them going forward.

As for talking to myself ...I will do all I can to stay out of the psyche wards lmao....ur right it would be a shame lol.

Thanks again everyone. Muah!

Hey Lee Ann

check you inbox - i sent you a message - we are surgery twins even if we are not at the same hospital

Anastasia