Where I'm at...(long-ish post)

I was born in a small town in Quebec…..HAHA….ok; just teasing…I’m not going back that far LOL!

I had my Nut/Beh appointment last week only to find out when I arrived that the Nutritionist (who apparently never calls in sick)…called in sick! So that appt has been rescheduled to June 18 with my second behaviorist appointment. No biggy, hell I’ve been waiting this long, what’s another month++?? I’m thinking I will just use the time to continue changing my behaviors in preparation for my new life. Do you ever get those days when you feel so good about the changes you’re currently making that you think “hey, maybe I don’t need this surgery’….then before you know it, you get those days when someone pulls out a patio chair and says ‘sit down’ and you just know there’s no way your ass is getting in or out of that chair. Literally, that has been me in the last week. I guess I’m going through the ‘I want the surgery, I don’t need the surgery, HOLY **** when is my f-ing surgery!!!’ phase. This way of yo-yo thinking has been all up in my face for the past couple months now. If I’m fortunate enough, I guestimate that I will be having surgery sometime late fall early winter, which is fine…but what’s not fine with me right now is knowing that I have yet ANOTHER summer to survive feeling uncomfortable in my skin. This time of year sucks ass!!! Can I get an amen from all my pre-ops???  Don’t get me wrong, I love camping, I love beach time, swimming etc, simply put I love the outdoors but dread how it’s so much harder to hide and run from my weight in the summer. So…its not like I didn’t know summer was coming and in hind sight I wish I had of worked harder over the winter to feel better but instead I continued with my bad habits and poor choices while creeping daily on the OH website. Here comes the positive tho…while I was secretly creeping and stocking all of yas I learned a lot along the way. I learned that small changes count and add up to be big changes, I was reminded that Rome wasn’t built in a day and it takes time to build an empire. I realized that I’m not alone and there are so many people out there, who suffer inside like I do…this list goes on... All that said, I don’t feel so defeated anymore, I feel like there’s hope for me yet which has led to me making small changes in my life like eating all my meals on small plates, increasing my water in take, exercising any way I can and don’t cha know I lost 10lbs in a months time. I’m proud of myself as I feel like my mind is slowly transforming and by the grace of God and this surgery, the day too will come when my body transforms too.

Thanks for hearing me out, I will now go back into my hole so I can continue stocking all of yas LOL.

Lee-Ann

Congrats on the 10 lbs lost.  As you have found out, it takes baby steps before you can make big ones.  But look how far babies can travel with their little steps.

Just keep up with the changes you made, and look for the next baby step.

Good luck on your journey,

Cathy

Amen sister! My surgery is July 23. Not looking forward to the hot, humid weather this year. I am hoping that August will go better for me (I've read that some people have a hard time keeping warm when they are losing weight, maybe I'll win that lottery!).

Keep making those small changes, keep calling for cancellations for your appts in order to move them up. Yo-yo thinking is totally normal.

I absolutely hear you, Lee-Ann.  I spent the summer of 2012 (from May to October) staying in the air conditioning, except for those times when I had to lumber over to the Ottawa Weight Management Clinic or the Heart Institute (6! times) or the Riverside Hospital, all for pre-op appointments and specialist visits (I had some issues *grin*).

I spent hours and hours here on OH (still do, as a matter of fact), reading, learning, watching, wondering, hoping, informing myself.

I am going in to this summer (2013) down 55 pounds, so far, and didn't have the air conditioning on at all yesterday or today, even in this unseasonable warm weather.

You're not stalking ... you're reading, learning ...etc.

Honest -- it gets better *WAY* better.

Marilyn (aka mmm)

AMEN and Hallelujah sis-tah!  Ditto to Chipmunk Roasting and your comments about the heat of summer and "stalking" on our beloved OH.  Now that I'm down 100 lbs I am cold all the time.  Such a strange foreign film this is!

Cheers,

Sandy

Thanks everyone.

Oh Amen and Halle-frickin'-lleujah!

I too am dreading this summer.  I just went shopping for summer clothes last week only to realize that I can't get decent pants for work at Pennington's because I don't fit in their largest sizes.  First time that ever happened, and I'm still traumatized.  I just had to settle for stretchy pants that don't quite look professional and hung my head in shame.

So sick of feeling ashamed, and looking forward to a different summer next year.