Hates My Body MORE After Weight Loss

Hello everyone. I am in Oklahoma City. I haven't lost much weight, and still have a lot more to go. In 2 yrs I have lost between 70 and 75 lbs. It's an accomplishment because for yrs I haven't been able to loose weight and every diet I tried, and every work out program failed. I have other health problems that make it hard for me to loose. Now that I have lost weight though my body is just disgusting. I have sagging,wrinkling skin and folds everywhere (I was 225 and am now....at home between 152 and 156 depending on what my scales want to say and at the dr. i am between 145 and 148). There's nothing i can do about it. I need a full body lift and tuck and can't afford it. Of course insurance will not pay it because they don't consider me a "health risk" I am now considered moderatly overweight. This has been a huge let down for me. I sometimes wish I was still 225 lbs. I have EXTREMELY low self-esteem, and this has made my self-esteem become much lower and caused me to sink into a real bad depression. One thing I am VERY sick of hearing is "Well you look nice in clothing" I am sorry but that does absolutely nothing for me at all. I can't wear a bathing suit like most ppl my size can, and I can't find shorts to fit me nor at this point would i even want to try. I don't know what to do about myself or my life. So, I am trying to find help to get myself out of this deep dark depression I have found myself trapped in. I don't know what to do with myself. I work out regularly doing cardio and toning trying to build muscles. I have done that for years. I have tried every kind of cream and lotion on the market.....Nothing works. I have seen a dr. but it's over 6,000.00 i did have a breast lift and liposuction which they are already starting flatten at 8 months pre-op and my legs are hideous looking because they were too fat to have lipo and should have been lifted instead. I wanted to go the "cheaper way" Now I can't pay my bills because that was all put on my credit card. LOL As you can probably tell I am just really overwelmed and disgusted and what I have "transformed" into. Bridge =)

I know from your post on the main board that you have lost this weight without the tool of surgery. Before my health became so bad, I was a huge advocate of being fat and fit. Something I found myself saying again and again with deep conviction was stressing the importance of loving and accepting yourself. That isn't easy for anybody - whether you've never known a fat day in your life or have been big since birth. There is no 'fix' for your skin - it gets a little better with water and exercise and time, but ultimately it ain't going nowhere without surgery! I also see many people thinking many things will be dramatically different after they lose weight - we know the doctors tend to blame EVERYTHING on our obesity, but we also tend to think life/marriage/whatever would be better if we aren't heavy. That really just isn't the case. I think you could really benefit from meeting with a counselor so you CAN work on your self-esteem. You have accomplished so much! But your post is so full of disappointment and pain. I hoe you can learn to change your outlook and appreciate what you have and what you have done. Good luck to you! Hang in there...I don't think your transformation is yet complete!

Hey thanks for posting. =) I appreciate it a lot. I agree that weight loss DOES NOT take care of everything. For example I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (aka big female problems that are complicated to explain lol) and I was told "oh if you loose weight you will feel better, your problems and symptoms will be gone" ect and guess what??? They are worse. I feel sick a lot more, fatigue a lot more......I physically have a hard time coping with things such as excersise and work a lot more. So, no the weight loss didn't help that and I don't think when you inherit something from generations of family members (my mom had it, my grandma and great grandma, and my 2 aunts) nothing can really make it just "stop" or "go away" So, you are so right that by loosing weight it doesn't help or "fix" everything. Bridge =)

Everything you have mentioned about the skin issues I think about. I know I will not like the way I look with the skin hanging. I am hoping that I will be able to have a tt, breast augmentation, and who knows what else. Money will be an issue, so who knows. I am sorry that you are feeling down. I know this may not help you to feel better, but you are a physically healthier person due to your weight loss and you should be proud of yourself. Perhaps something will change and you will be able to have your skin issues addressed. In the meantime I would suggest that you get some counseling. I know that when I went through counseling in the past it helped me. It didn't change how I felt 100% but it did help put things into perspective. Good Luck!

Hey, thanks for writing. =) I really appreciate it a lot. Money is a huge issue here too and it's hard. It makes it more difficult when you are in debt and know you will never be able to really achieve your true goal (speaking for myself). Counseling may help and someone suggested on the other board pills. But I feel sometimes pills are more of a cover up because when I look in the mirror, and when I take a shower or bath the flabs still there. Pills aren't going to make the excess skin go away. Nothing will other than surgery. It's just something I do have to work on though and that's why I have come here. Hoping to get some encouragement and help from other ppl who have been there or are going through the same thing I am. Bridge =)

Bridge, I'm 44, 5' 3.5" and weighed 232 before surgery. I now weigh 167, I've lost 65 pounds, so I'm almost exactly where you are weight loss wise. I don't have wrinkly disgusting skin that hangs everywhere. I don't know how tall you are or your age but something about this doesn't gel in my head. Have you starved yourself to get the weight loss?? Have you not kept hydrated daily?? Are you not taking vitamins to supplement the lower nutritional intake?? Other than losing this weight on your own, what did you do so drastically different than I did, to end up with the skin problems?? I know now, that I'll probably have to have a TT when I'm done losing. But there's no comparing my body image now to the self loathing I had prior to surgery. I HATED my fat self and couldn't imagine my husband being ATTRACTED to that fat slob I saw in the mirror!!! Now I'm starting to like my slimmer self. I've HATED my fat self for so many years though, this will be a slow process. I've been told that the younger you are the more likely the skin will "rebound" but it takes at least 12 - 18 months of exercise to acheive this. I think I'm too old to count on this body doing much rebounding. I really think you need to get your PCP to referr you to a counselor, medication can be used to get you through this rough time. Things can get better with a little time and someone to talk too.... Va Was/Am/Wannabe 232/167/130 -65 pounds

Hey thanks for writing. We are "neighbors" lol I am in okc also. Anway, I am 5'2 31 yrs old and lost between 70 and 75 lbs in 2 yrs. I honestly don't know what my real weight is. I had a dr. visit in May and was 145 but my scales have always said for the longest time now between 153 and 155 (even when i came home from her office that day i weighed as soon as i got home)and normally it's 155. I have female problems which I hate talking about but sometimes in order for ppl to understand where you are and why you are or do some things a certain way (esp on emails and boards ppl sometimes seem to not understand things as well as talking in person) but anyway lol I have what is called polycystic ovarian syndrome and so my dr. told me I needed to do a low carb diet. My weight loss has been very slow compared to most people. I eat lots of green leafy vegetables, along with lean meats and don't eat much beef because I also try to watch my fat intake along with the carb intake also. Before I really started on doing low carb though I had already lost about 30 lbs by taking diet pills. I started on a product called CLA, went to Hydroxy Cut (did well but make me feel horrible.....shakey and nauseated) and then started Xenadrine EFX and have lost most of my weight doing that. That is THE most different thing I have done in my life as far as what I tried or have done to loose weight. I drink lots of water. I don't know why I have the skin problems that I have. I have always been over weight for my entire life. I know I saw my plastic surgeon and we talked about a tummy tuck and she said "so how many kids have you had" I said none remember I can't have kids (we have talked about that before lol) and she said she was very surprised to see someone my age with no kids and had the stretch marks and the saggy skin that I have. Of course she was nice about it. She wasn't being mean or rude or trying to be insensitive. I like her a lot and have known her 2 1/2 yrs but I just can't afford her. LOL So, ya know I am just not really sure. I guess the only answer I can have to your question about my skin, and I guess my own is......just because I have always been over weight and it's always been stretched out since I was born. lol I was a big baby at nearly 11 lbs at birth, (actually my mom was WAY overdue.....military.....back then I guess it was BAD) and by the time I was 5 i was a good 80 lbs. I am thankful (and I know I probably don't sound like it by most of my posts) that I am now smaller than I was when I was a teenager. The last time I was this size I was probably about 11 or 12 yrs old. I agree maybe a counselor would help me during this time. I do hope things get better. I have about 30 more lbs to go now and it's been so long since I have lost an ounce. lol I think I need to force myself to work out more because what I am doing isn't cutting it anymore. It's hard for me to work out a lot because of my health. With the problem I have comes along extreme fatigue and exhaustion. Which when you are trying to loose weight and need to work out fatigue and exhaustion can really hinder your work out sessions. lol I noticed when I went on a 2 mile walk about 12:30 in the afternoon Tues that i barely sweated and my heart rate wasn't up much. So, I think i need to up my work outs and walks. Well, that's all from me for now. lol I am glad you wrote. =)

HI, I live in OKC too. First do what ever you need to overcome your depression. I took Welbutrin for a while and it helped me. I saw a psycologyst for about 4 months. I had to stop giving myself the negative self talk and learned to be more assertive with family and friends who try to drag me down. Next you might want to check out Tooter's profile. Dame Tooter is her name and she is kind of the website guru. She had real fight to get her cosmetic surgery approved. Just post a question to her on the main board and she will be a real help. Good luck to you. God Bless Michelle

Hey thanks for writing. I haven't heard from anyone around here for quite a few days. I was glad to hear from someone. I try really hard to be positive. I have pics of me when I was 225 and 230 up where I can see where I have come from and where I am now. It does help, but unfortunantly it still doesn't help me a lot. I saw a woman last night on the discovery channel who was about my height and size but quite a bit younger and she had the same problems I (and many of us who have lost weight have or will eventually have) I have and she just cried when she went and talked to her dr. I sat there and tears came in my eyes and I started sniffling. My dogs came over and looked at me like I was nuts. They were probably thinking "oh great there she goes again" LOL But I felt her pain though. I have a wonderful dr. but I just can't afford her. With what all she includes it's not a bad price but on the other hand when you have a lot more going out then coming in anythings a bad price. lol My insurance flat out said no because of the fact I am about 30 to 40 (my weight flucuates so much I never really truely know) overweight now after loosing what I have. They said no to begin with before my weight loss because of the fact I was still considered "healthy" (meaning no serious health problems other than Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome....a type of female problem) I was 100 lbs (or a little over) over weight then and like I said considered healthy becaue the dr. couldn't find any reason i needed surgery of any kind. SO, now it's really totally out of the question. I did however find a company to which I got approved for a loan (they specialize in cosmetic surgery loans) BUT the kicker is this , and to me it's very odd. My dr. requires at the time of booking a deposit of 10% down (they take the total surgery and take 10% off and that's what you owe at the booking time) You can pay my dr. that amount (which for me I believe it's around the high 300's or close to 4 something) and that reserves your spot at the hospital and that total paid down is also taken off of the full price of the surgery. Well, this company I got approved for wanted me to write them a check or money order for almost 2000.00 and send that to my dr. They wanted to see a copy of the check or money order then they wanted to make sure it was all legal and a bunch of stuff and then pay my dr. that out of my own pocket. Well, I called my dr. and talked to the lady that does the apt setting and the bills and financial stuff there. She said that was not right because what she told me and gave me on paper is what I need to pay down and no more. So the loan approval was both a happy occassion and a sad one lol Happy I got approved (I have horrible credit and being self-employed my credit don't really get anywhere) but sad to find out that they really aren't that great of a company. lol So, I am back to square one. My husband isn't at all supportive of any of this so I am on my own. He thinks surgery is a waste of time and money and that since my breast lift didn't work well and since my lipo on my inner thighs didn't work well that it's all a waste. He says I put him in dept with that thinking that would take care of my skin problems and then I have more skin problems and my inner thighs are still very saggy ( I really needed a lift and things tucked more than i needed lipo but didn't realize that. I had looked at pics of women with bigger legs than mine and did lots of research so I thought the lipo would be fine. Plus it was cheaper. lol My dr. also thought I would do fine with it because she didn't do the lipo agressively and didn't take much out. Well, that's some more of my story. Sorry to be so "chatty" lol Bridge =)