Can you share with me????

Hi Friends, first let me thank you all for being so helpful to me in my journey. It's hard to imagine that it's been almost 4 years since my surgery! I have been developing a lecture regarding the insensitivity of the public towards the obese. I am doing this for several reasons.....to educate healthcare workers, to lobby for obesity discrimination to be prohibited by the ADA, to educate the public at large to the plight of this last socially acceptable bastion of open and rampant discrimination, etc. Right now all I have to go on is my own experience and I was wondering if you could help me to help others by sharing your experiences with me. I know it might be painful but maybe with all of us putting forth an effort it will be worth it in the end. I'll go first and share one of my most hurtful experiences. When I weighed 263 I interviewed for a job as a receptionist at a popular radio station. Because it was for a receptionist position, the interviews were all done over the phone. You mailed or faxed in your resume and then everything was done over the phone so they could evaluate your phone skills and dealing with the public. I made it all the way down to the final two applicants and was invited in for a meeting with the president. Even at 263 pounds I took great pains with my appearance and fixed my hair and makeup and wore nice, professional clothing. I arrived at the office and saw that the other applicant was a tiny lady who was very pretty. When the president came out he literally looked at me first and then looked at her. He walked up to me, shook my hand, told me he didn't think they had anything for me and hoped I hadn't been inconvenienced by coming in. He then took the other lady by the hand and ushered her into his office. I almost felt sorry for her. He was practically drooling over her. I left the office in a conflicted mess. I was happy that I didn't have to work for an ignorant man like that. But, I was devastated because he had totally discounted my intelligence and my abilities because I was morbidly obese. I felt worthless. I was too ashamed to tell my family what happened and I lied to them and said I'd had a great interview but he must've like the other lady better. It wasn't until I'd had WLS that I shared this experience with them. The really terrible thing about this is that this scenario and worse is played out over and over each day with morbidly obese individuals. Can you share your experiences with me? I know I'm only one person and I don't expect to change the world but I figure even the mighty oak started out as one little nut. So, this little nut is seeking your help. Thanks again for being a wonderful, supportive WLS family!

I AM STILL PRE OP BUT HAVE A LOT OF STORYS TO SHARE, JUST TODAY, I WAS TOLD BY A PAITENT, "I HAVE AN ABSOLUTLY BEAUTIFUL COMPLECTION.[WHAT SHE ACTUALLY MEANT IS IF I WASNT SO FAT I WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL{ WHEN SHE LEFT ,I JUST LAUGHED,, I HAD NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE,. I HAVE BEEN TOLD I HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE, I HAVE BEEN TOTALY IGNORED AFTER A QUICK GLANCE, ALMOST AS IF I WERE INVISIBLE. I HAVE BEEN HUMILITAED IN RESTURANTS AS I WATCH PEOPLE LOOK AT MY PLATE, OR STARE INTO MY GROCERY BASKET.BUT I ACCEPT THESE PEOPLES IGNORANCE. AND LIKE YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP BATTLE THE DISCRIMINATION AGAINST OBESITY. I FOUND MYSELF IN AN INTERVIEW, ALMOST TRYING TO DEFEND MYSELF FOR BEING OVER WEIGHT, AS IF I HAD TO PROVE THAT I COULD PHYSICALLY KEEP UP WITH MY PEERS. JUST TO GET THE JOB, I DONT THINK IT WAS ANYTHING THE INTERVIEWER SAID OR DID, IT IS JUST THE WAY SOCIETY HAS MADE ME FEEL, AND THE WAY I HAVE ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN, I HAVE MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH, EVEN WITH FAMILY FUNCTIONS IN FEAR OF EMBARRASING MY HUSBAND ONLY BECAUSE OF MY SIZE, WHICH IS NOT THAT DISGUSTING, I AM 5/6 AND 280. BUT BECAUSE OF THE WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN I AM UNABLE TO HAVE ANY CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF. THAT HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM ME BY OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, THAT WERE ALL CREATED BY THE SAME GOD I WAS, AND ARE NO BETTER THAN ME.OF COURSE THAT COULDNT HAPPEN WITH OUT MY CONSENT . BUT NONE THE LESS, IT HAS. ANYWAY I CAN GO ON AND ON. BUT I WONT, IF I CAN HELP IN ANY WAY LET ME KNOW. PEGGY YOUMANS

I haven't been aware, I guess, of any blatant discrimination - but there are plenty of situations I had to endure due to my super obesity. My husband and I were in desperate need of a new mattress, and had very limited funds. We saw an ad at almost midnight one night for a very cheap but affordable mattress. We went the next morning, and were told they were no longer running that special. I explained our dilemma, and gave the sales lady our price range - she showed me the cheapest mattress and THEN said "but I wouldn't even recommend this to my niece and she is a slender thing" She then looked me in the eye and said "and honey, face it, you and I are not slender!". She may have been an extra large - I was bursting out of a 4X. I was so hurt, I just walked out. Never will forget her name, although I erased it out of this post. I should have caused a scene and angrily cried "Fat?!!! Are you calling me fat?!!" or hurtfully said "what do you mean...I'm not slender?" or even "Damn skippy, hunny and this fat chick has sex too! That mattress wouldn't make it through the night!". But I just walked out, shamed. All the places we couldn't go because I couldn't sit down anywhere...breaking chairs *** and couches...) because they weren't meant to support me. Sitting on the bottom bleacher getting dirty with every missed pitch because I could not physically lift myself to climb to a higher seat. Trying not to embarrass my children, my husband. And now, more aware than ever of how invisible I was because people we've known for years in little league sports only NOW have time and interest in talking to me.